CHAPTER TWELVE - Merlot, Marlowe and Man-Boy Love
As promised, I get home to a candle-lit room, soft romantic music in the background and Eddie. "Hey, just in time, Boss-Man", making up a couple of dishes, of the usual stuff, veggies, taters, wine and all-a that. He brought out my desk in the back, slapped a cover over it, poured some Merlot, which I really dig! It's sweet, got a kinda kick to it, and it's red. The color red just screams sex appeal. Especially if it's wrapped around the right chest (heh-heh). Merlot really rocks, too, because the name reminds me of Philip Marlowe, the guy who made me the gumshoe I am today.
Ah, well, didn't mean to go into any-a that, but here goes. When I was a kid, I grew up in a tough area, fistfights, shootin' that kinda thing, makin' West Side Story look like the gay Four Seasons Vegas act it really was. I didn't have nothin' big happen like poor Eddie, just my parents throwin' me outta the house when they caught me doin' what any guy does when he's alone, or thinks he is, and I didn't exactly have no girlie magazines with me when I was doin' it. Yeah, I knew about myself then, no denial. But my time on the streets bought me some time in the pokey, I was into shopliftin' , burglary, that kinda thing, I guess my talent for snoopin' around was used the wrong way, then. A slap on the wrist here, a slap on the wrist there, then the cuffs was slapped on. BAM - SLAM in the pokey til I was 18. The usual crap was goin' on in there, too, but let's not get into it, I put it behind me a long time ago. Since we was all kids, there had to be some kinda education, the "school" part of "reform school". Library, yada yada and so on. I spent as much time in there as I could, anything was better than population or even my cell, actually lookin' like some psyche ward, got a bunch of blankety-blanks in there I had to sleep with, and the funny thing was, these ain't my type-a-guys, neither. No, it was a small series of books on the library shelf. I started goin' through those, "Farewell My Lovely", the "Big Sleep". I thought the writin' seemed decent enough, I can just hear how this guy was talkin'. Marlowe! Man, how I wish he was real, sometimes still do. Ya know, it ain't all that easy bein' the Dashin' Detective. It's a real blast, don't gemme wrong, but I need a hero, too. I need to play sidekick to someone, too, ya know, 'cuz I get a bit hotheaded.
Not because it was me, ya understand, but Eddie was lucky that the guy who made his turnin' point was real. Mine was all made up, yeah, but, hey.....
So, Marlowe was the one. When he got into it with some chick, I really used to fantasize, boy, lemme tell ya, not about bein' in place of him, but bein' in place of ...her.
When I got outta the pokey, I was still young enough to get myself goin' somewheres, but I didn't wanna do anything but be Marlowe. Mitchum could do it on the movie screen, but the path I choose to tread had a bunch of gum on it, which I got on my shoe.
So, there ya have it, not exactly the Story of O, mind you, but there it is.
As Eddie and I enjoyed our supper together, we were gabbin' away like always, and then he put in a couple of "Boss-Man"'s here and there. It usually gets me hot, he sounds so macho when he says it, but for tonight, I'm in the mood for love.
I got up, walked over to him, took his hand, stroked it, stood him up, and looked at him, softly whispering, "Eddie?" "Yeah?" "Can ya call me Mike, ya know, for tonight?" "Wow, ya know, that's right I never did call ya by your name before." "I love it when you call me Boss-man, and all, I never made it a rule, but it just sounds real cool when ya say it, but, lemme be Mike tonight." Holding his hand in mine, I kissed it, a couple of times. "I wanna hear ya say it. Seduce me with that hot voice. Tell me how much you want me, how much you need me, how much you love me with all your heart." Half-whispering, he cooed, "I love you, Mike." He kissed me. "I want you" Kiss "I need you" Kiss "I love you" Kiss - "with all my heart" more kisses. God, this kid's good, lemme tell ya. Oh, this kid's good. "Eddie, I got a little surprise for ya." "Mm, every day's a surprise with you, Mike, that's why I love you." He continued kissing my neck. "Naw, I mean it. I really have a surprise for ya. It's in the car. I think you're gonna love it as much as I do, and, baby I love this!"
I fly out of the apartment, down the stairs and right for the car. I didn't know what was racin' fastest, my heart, or my body goin' down the steps. I even skipped a couple, almost, slippin' and fallin', but the heck with it, it was worth it. Guess what I had in the back, sports fans. Two packages. Anyway, I fly up the steps faster than a drunk the minute prohibition was repealed, faster than Michael Jackson the minute school let out. Holy mother of Moses. I hope Eddie likes it, too. I only thought I knew. Anyway, adrenaline bein' what it is and all, I didn't care.
I get back upstairs and didn't see Eddie right off the bat. I look around for him, "hey Eddie, where'd ya disappear to?" I walked to the bedroom door and stopped cold. It was the most heartbreakin' thing I ever did see. Eddie was holdin' his shirt, the one he used to gimme a blood clot after we got popped, and he was cryin' . " Eddie?" He was startled and looked at me. "What's goin' on?" He just shook his head, closed his eyes, looked away and started bawlin' again. "Eddie, come on now, this is me here....FESS UP, kid. Start flappin' them gums." "I found this among your stuff. I was kinda unpackin'. I can't believe ya saved it." "Well, it saved me, so I saved it. Kinda whatcha call tit for tat. The doctor told me later on that if it weren't for this thing, I'd-a bled to death before we got to the ol' repair shop. You were so selfless. Ya coulda stopped your own bleedin'. You wanted me to live. I always knew ya loved me, I ain't never had no doubt, but.....but....." I started weepin' as I grabbed 'im, I held 'im so close, it wasn't enough to just put my hands on him, I wanted him in my hands, ya know what I mean? I kinda squeezed his flesh. Touchin' him, smellin' him. He was there, he'd always be there. "I didn't get the chance to tell ya, I mean, what if I never saw ya again. What if I had ta leave ya?", I blurted out between sobs. These was no ordinary sobs, my whole body was shakin'. Eddie hung onto me like for dear life and said, "thank God you made it. You're unbeatable. Ya can't keep a guy like you down...." "....and when we're together, we're always up."
Eddie held me while I sobbed. It started to ease up bit by bit. I then sat up a little, wiped the tears up, and remembered why I came in here in the first place. "Geez, Eddie, look what ya gone and did", I teased him. He laughed at that. Good. The two of us sharing a laugh after a real emotional minute there. Our motto is true, ya can't keep guys like us down, 'cuz when we're together, we're always up. This is how I like us. Anyways, back to basics here. "Ya wanna see that surprise?" "Oh, that's right, yeah. I'm dyin', what is it?" I stood him up and said, "first, off with your clothes." "OH, yeah!" "Well, usually, but this is different." Eddie went ahead and took everything off. "Okay, then", I says, "shut them peepers". "Peepers shut, boss-man". "Good. Stand still now" I went ahead and opened his package. I dressed him, pulling a shirt over his head, then a vest, the sleeves got a little snagged and I straightened them out. Next came a pair of pants, one leg at a time. Shoes was next. Lookin' him over, I thought, "yep, think I got it all". Then I slipped somethin' over his eyes. He laughed, "blindfoldin' me? Wow, I thought ya trusted me there, Mike." "Okay, I think we're done now. Come with me." I took his hand and walked over to a mirror in the hallway, all the time watchin' to make sure he didn't peek. I got him right in front of the mirror, adrenaline was pumpin'. If he liked this, he'd be overjoyed, if he didn't, I just blew a wad of cash and would feel like a moron." "Okay, boy, open them peepers". He did, and the look he had on his face when he got a load of his reflection was priceless.
Ah, well, didn't mean to go into any-a that, but here goes. When I was a kid, I grew up in a tough area, fistfights, shootin' that kinda thing, makin' West Side Story look like the gay Four Seasons Vegas act it really was. I didn't have nothin' big happen like poor Eddie, just my parents throwin' me outta the house when they caught me doin' what any guy does when he's alone, or thinks he is, and I didn't exactly have no girlie magazines with me when I was doin' it. Yeah, I knew about myself then, no denial. But my time on the streets bought me some time in the pokey, I was into shopliftin' , burglary, that kinda thing, I guess my talent for snoopin' around was used the wrong way, then. A slap on the wrist here, a slap on the wrist there, then the cuffs was slapped on. BAM - SLAM in the pokey til I was 18. The usual crap was goin' on in there, too, but let's not get into it, I put it behind me a long time ago. Since we was all kids, there had to be some kinda education, the "school" part of "reform school". Library, yada yada and so on. I spent as much time in there as I could, anything was better than population or even my cell, actually lookin' like some psyche ward, got a bunch of blankety-blanks in there I had to sleep with, and the funny thing was, these ain't my type-a-guys, neither. No, it was a small series of books on the library shelf. I started goin' through those, "Farewell My Lovely", the "Big Sleep". I thought the writin' seemed decent enough, I can just hear how this guy was talkin'. Marlowe! Man, how I wish he was real, sometimes still do. Ya know, it ain't all that easy bein' the Dashin' Detective. It's a real blast, don't gemme wrong, but I need a hero, too. I need to play sidekick to someone, too, ya know, 'cuz I get a bit hotheaded.
Not because it was me, ya understand, but Eddie was lucky that the guy who made his turnin' point was real. Mine was all made up, yeah, but, hey.....
So, Marlowe was the one. When he got into it with some chick, I really used to fantasize, boy, lemme tell ya, not about bein' in place of him, but bein' in place of ...her.
When I got outta the pokey, I was still young enough to get myself goin' somewheres, but I didn't wanna do anything but be Marlowe. Mitchum could do it on the movie screen, but the path I choose to tread had a bunch of gum on it, which I got on my shoe.
So, there ya have it, not exactly the Story of O, mind you, but there it is.
As Eddie and I enjoyed our supper together, we were gabbin' away like always, and then he put in a couple of "Boss-Man"'s here and there. It usually gets me hot, he sounds so macho when he says it, but for tonight, I'm in the mood for love.
I got up, walked over to him, took his hand, stroked it, stood him up, and looked at him, softly whispering, "Eddie?" "Yeah?" "Can ya call me Mike, ya know, for tonight?" "Wow, ya know, that's right I never did call ya by your name before." "I love it when you call me Boss-man, and all, I never made it a rule, but it just sounds real cool when ya say it, but, lemme be Mike tonight." Holding his hand in mine, I kissed it, a couple of times. "I wanna hear ya say it. Seduce me with that hot voice. Tell me how much you want me, how much you need me, how much you love me with all your heart." Half-whispering, he cooed, "I love you, Mike." He kissed me. "I want you" Kiss "I need you" Kiss "I love you" Kiss - "with all my heart" more kisses. God, this kid's good, lemme tell ya. Oh, this kid's good. "Eddie, I got a little surprise for ya." "Mm, every day's a surprise with you, Mike, that's why I love you." He continued kissing my neck. "Naw, I mean it. I really have a surprise for ya. It's in the car. I think you're gonna love it as much as I do, and, baby I love this!"
I fly out of the apartment, down the stairs and right for the car. I didn't know what was racin' fastest, my heart, or my body goin' down the steps. I even skipped a couple, almost, slippin' and fallin', but the heck with it, it was worth it. Guess what I had in the back, sports fans. Two packages. Anyway, I fly up the steps faster than a drunk the minute prohibition was repealed, faster than Michael Jackson the minute school let out. Holy mother of Moses. I hope Eddie likes it, too. I only thought I knew. Anyway, adrenaline bein' what it is and all, I didn't care.
I get back upstairs and didn't see Eddie right off the bat. I look around for him, "hey Eddie, where'd ya disappear to?" I walked to the bedroom door and stopped cold. It was the most heartbreakin' thing I ever did see. Eddie was holdin' his shirt, the one he used to gimme a blood clot after we got popped, and he was cryin' . " Eddie?" He was startled and looked at me. "What's goin' on?" He just shook his head, closed his eyes, looked away and started bawlin' again. "Eddie, come on now, this is me here....FESS UP, kid. Start flappin' them gums." "I found this among your stuff. I was kinda unpackin'. I can't believe ya saved it." "Well, it saved me, so I saved it. Kinda whatcha call tit for tat. The doctor told me later on that if it weren't for this thing, I'd-a bled to death before we got to the ol' repair shop. You were so selfless. Ya coulda stopped your own bleedin'. You wanted me to live. I always knew ya loved me, I ain't never had no doubt, but.....but....." I started weepin' as I grabbed 'im, I held 'im so close, it wasn't enough to just put my hands on him, I wanted him in my hands, ya know what I mean? I kinda squeezed his flesh. Touchin' him, smellin' him. He was there, he'd always be there. "I didn't get the chance to tell ya, I mean, what if I never saw ya again. What if I had ta leave ya?", I blurted out between sobs. These was no ordinary sobs, my whole body was shakin'. Eddie hung onto me like for dear life and said, "thank God you made it. You're unbeatable. Ya can't keep a guy like you down...." "....and when we're together, we're always up."
Eddie held me while I sobbed. It started to ease up bit by bit. I then sat up a little, wiped the tears up, and remembered why I came in here in the first place. "Geez, Eddie, look what ya gone and did", I teased him. He laughed at that. Good. The two of us sharing a laugh after a real emotional minute there. Our motto is true, ya can't keep guys like us down, 'cuz when we're together, we're always up. This is how I like us. Anyways, back to basics here. "Ya wanna see that surprise?" "Oh, that's right, yeah. I'm dyin', what is it?" I stood him up and said, "first, off with your clothes." "OH, yeah!" "Well, usually, but this is different." Eddie went ahead and took everything off. "Okay, then", I says, "shut them peepers". "Peepers shut, boss-man". "Good. Stand still now" I went ahead and opened his package. I dressed him, pulling a shirt over his head, then a vest, the sleeves got a little snagged and I straightened them out. Next came a pair of pants, one leg at a time. Shoes was next. Lookin' him over, I thought, "yep, think I got it all". Then I slipped somethin' over his eyes. He laughed, "blindfoldin' me? Wow, I thought ya trusted me there, Mike." "Okay, I think we're done now. Come with me." I took his hand and walked over to a mirror in the hallway, all the time watchin' to make sure he didn't peek. I got him right in front of the mirror, adrenaline was pumpin'. If he liked this, he'd be overjoyed, if he didn't, I just blew a wad of cash and would feel like a moron." "Okay, boy, open them peepers". He did, and the look he had on his face when he got a load of his reflection was priceless.
posted by Brendan Chenowith at 8:08 AM
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