CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - Slippin' and a-Slidin', Sneakin' and a-Spyin'

EDDIE - It was close to closing time, the place seemed a bit quiet, so I checked all the ID's and stuff that I was gonna do, and there wasn't a whole heck of a lot to do here. Besides that, it was kinda lonely. I sure did miss my boss-man. I mean, we live together and all that, but I really need him. I need his eyes gazing at mine, I need his touch, I need to hear his voice. I love it when we get a call and run off to action side by side. I love it when we confront our foes and I'm lookin' at him as he's callin' 'em on the carpet. I got my fists at the ready and he's standin' there perfectly calm and cool, and ready to bust ass. I know this is for a case and I'll do everything I can to help get this guy and possibly get the Poor Sap's money back to him, but, man, this sure gets lonely.

Ya know, maybe we coulda went about this a different way. I thought Eddie might get a good chance to get to know this creep by hangin' at the club and all, and now that he's a bouncer there, he'll really get some inside stuff. But, damn it all, I really miss him. I miss it when he's all hyped out and ready to start swingin' when anyone tries to mess with me. I miss it when we smile, pat each other and go runnin' off into the sunset when we busted some ass. I like bein' heroes with him. I was doin' good stuff then, but my life sure did turn around when he showed up in that alley. He really brightens up whatever he walks into, he sure does make my place come alive. The office ain't all that depressin' no more. The ol' man upstairs really did me a good thing when he plopped Eddie right into my lap, in more ways than one, of course (heh-heh). But, anyways, there's a crime to solve, another butt to bust. All I been hearin' on the wire is just your usual chit-chat, crap disco (who the heck ever made that shit, ya know?), glasses bangin', some bar patrons bangin'. From the sound of things, Eddie sure does get around. He sure gets hit on a lot, but he always waves it off, always.

Gettin' close to closin' time, not much goin' on, Eddie walkin' around. He's a heavy walker. Even without the wire I can hear him stompin' for miles. That's okay. Ya know, people love each other in spite of their quirks. I just love Eddie's quirks. He wouldn't be Eddie without 'em. God, I love his feet, I love the shoes he wears and the socks underneath. When it's really hot and he wears shorts, they can't be short enough for my likin'.

Okay, okay, okay, god- dammit, there I go again.

So, Eddie's walkin' around, checkin' stuff, I guess. I never worked in a bar before, unless ya count bein' passed out underneath my share of bar-stools in my time.

Footsteps, a little echo, a couple of voices, gettin' louder, gettin' clearer - all right, boy, STOP RIGHT THERE!

EDDIE - It was closin' time and I didn't see much goin' on so I thought I'd look around, see what needed doin'. Maybe I'll head over to the office and ask if they need me for anything else before I take off. They're both in there talkin', oh, well, I won't bug 'em, then. I was about to walk back when I felt this sudden urge to just stand still, for some reason. Don't know what, but somethin' was just tellin' me to. Good thing I did, 'cuz I heard this goin' on with Chester and that creepy partner of his: "C " 's gonna be for Chesterton and "CP" is gonna be for creepy partner:

CP: So, what's the deal with the kid out there?

C: You mean my new bouncer, Eddie?

CP: Your new bouncer? Well I suppose if he's YOUR new bouncer, you can finance this dump yourself and I can go back to that poor sap I dropped, boring little fuck he was and all.

C: Okay, if you're gonna get all anal-technical. THE new bouncer.

CP: Why did you hire him in the first place? It's not like this is a roadhouse or anything.

C: Well, we do need to screen out minors, being a new place I don't want to get busted until we're open at least 6 weeks.

CP: Hey, (SOUND OF A SLAP) don't gimme any shit. One more smart crack and you're gonna be back at that shoe store in the mall before you know it. Look what I did to the last one. I all but bankrupted that idiot. That's what he gets for trying to take over the whole show, not even putting my name on anything. He kept giving me that shit about how he's the personality and I'm the behind the scenes. Fuckin' fruit-job. He deserved everything he got. let that be a lesson for you. No shit, ya get me? Oh, uh, are the statements still in the hiding place?

C: Sure thing, along with the.....

CP: We don't mention it out loud, just so we both know. Well, anyway, I think you ought to give that new kid something else to do besides look hot and read ID's all night. Like, maybe, run some errands, dropping off the........

C: No way, that sweet kid is not gonna get messed up in that. His face is too pretty for the clink.

CP: I'm talking about the deposits. I think we can trust him around the cash. If he's as dumb as he looks, he wouldn't even think of ripping us off.

DUMB AS HE LOOKS? - Why I oughta -

ALL RIGHT BOY! STOP RIGHT THERE!

Wow, there goes that urge again, it's like I can't move or somethin'. I wanted to clean that guy's clock for sayin' I'm as dumb as I look, or that I look dumb, or that I....aw, the heck with it.

CP: He sure gets on that cell-phone a lot, and he sure yaks it up with people. A little too friendly for my liking. Kid gets me nervous.

You should be - ya got the Dashin' Detective taping everything you say and you don't even know it, you stupid little greaseball. I mean, holy brylcreem, he's got enough oil up there to fill a tank of gas.

CP: Just keep on eye on the little shit, huh?

C: Okay, okay.


Now, MOVE!

Bookin' outta this hallway like RIGHT NOW. Don't wanna let 'em catch me snoopin' around, that's my other job.

Good, good, Eddie's gettin' away. We're gettin' some stuff now, boy, I'd hate to have it all blow up in our faces.