CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - Righteous Raids and Rescues
The cops are yellin' at Chesterton to surrender and they point their weapons, but he ends up grabbin' Eddie as a freakin' human shield. The poor kid's hands tied behind his back, his feet tied at the ankles, stripped down to tee-shirt and underwear. For a second, I thought he looked pretty hot, but then I slapped myself across the face, "you fool, his life's in danger. These cops start shootin', Eddie's gonna get every last slug. What the hell are ya doin' to save him? HUH?" That's right. First I put him through the mill at the club, then I really give it to 'im refusin' to talk and all. Him seein' all-a this crap at such a young age....I think he can do better. Ya know, I think I might just let 'im go after this. Not as a partner, but as a partner.
EDDIE - I see the creepazoid gettin' it. GOOD! One down, one more crumb to go. Wait, wait, wait, hold up there! Before I know it, my hands are tied behind my back and my feet are tied up, too. I'm still p.o. at Chesterton for doin' me dirty like he did. "Boy, what a con job! Ya thought I'd be an easy lay just 'cuz ya dug my costume, and now this - all because that creep of yours wanted to get even with his boyfriend." SMACK in the gut. I go down. Practically fetal. "It wasn't just his boyfriend - it was yours, too. How the hell do you think I felt when I found out you and what's his name were spyin' on us? You call ME a con job? You fuckin' jagoff, I liked you for real. I thought you were hot. I just wanted you to start hangin' at our place so I'd have somethin' to look at once in a while, to get myself off to when I thought about you at night. You don't know what you did to me in that suit. I wanted to be with you!" He bends down to me, starts huggin', kissin', even grabbin' at me a little. "But we're with other guys", I said. "You mean I WAS with another guy. That man out there is dead! And yours is next if I have anything to do about it, if not you, too! You don't get it do ya?" "What do you mean?" "Look, I've always sort of needed someone, like, all my life, ya know? My dad and brother hated me, always blew me off, treated me like I was something different. I didn't have any friends and......I saw the likes of Batman on t.v. and the two of them were sort of like a dad and brother to me. Then I saw you guys at the bar the other night for that contest and I was just destroyed." "Then it wasn't really me ya liked, was it?" "Of course it was, I still treated you the same when you were yourself. Not that I ever experienced anything like that. I mean, as great as you looked that night, I saw who you were underneath that, and......." He just stopped. He looked at me for a second or two, then the look of sadness he had on his face turned to anger as he grabbed an AK-47 and me. He jabbed the weapon in the space between my arm and my torso and stood me in front of him as he went out to face the cops. I was bein' used as a human shield. As the cops pointed their weapons at Chesterton, he stuck the AK-47 out at them through my body and taunted, "I don't think you want to use those just now. If you do, it's bye-bye Boy Friday." He paused for a second. God, I hated it when he did that, he's gettin' another idea, I know. "Or is it bye-bye blue boys!" With the gun stickin' outta my arm, he blasted every cop in the room. My screams couldn't be heard over any of that blitzkrieg. Then he stuck his foot in front of mine and pushed me over til I fell on the floor. He loaded the AK-47 with another magazine of ammo, then aimed it right at me as I'm lyin' there, screamin' for my life, terrified outta my skull. I saw his finger on the trigger. I always believed a real man looks right at his assailant as he's about to get whacked, but I couldn't help myself this time. I squinted, heard a pop, then felt somethin' land on my legs. It was Chesterton! I wasn't hit at all, the pop was.......
.......ME! Man, I thought my boy was never gonna get outta the way. I am jokin' of course. I had my gun aimed at this bastard the whole time, just waitin' for a good shot at his head and I got it when he shoved Eddie to the floor. Chesterton keels over and I cackle, "HOT DAMN! Lucky shot!" and run over to see if Eddie's okay, or at least how badly he was hurt. He kept gettin' punctured like a stack of papers gettin' stapled. I saw this crumb lyin' on Eddie's legs and I kicked him over. "You ain't even got what it takes to die on this kid's body, much less lay down on it." I cut his bonds and try to pick him up. "Ya okay, there, boy?", I said. He looked at me for a second, then went over to where this town's finest gave up their lives for the two of us, and just stared. After all, these guys were like his brothers. I give 'im a minute, then walk over to 'im to try to put 'im at ease. I put my hand on his shoulder, hopin' then to put his head on mine, or somethin'. Man, I was missin' this kid and now that I got him back - he shrugs me off. He kinda even shoved me away a little. Then walked out. "Hey, Eddie, what's the deal?" He wouldn't answer. He wouldn't look back at me, he just kept goin'. Now, I had to stay back a little til some more cops got here and then we can clean up this mess. But I had to see what was up with Eddie. Maybe he was just all broken up about the cop shootin'. Yeah, maybe that.
EDDIE - I see the creepazoid gettin' it. GOOD! One down, one more crumb to go. Wait, wait, wait, hold up there! Before I know it, my hands are tied behind my back and my feet are tied up, too. I'm still p.o. at Chesterton for doin' me dirty like he did. "Boy, what a con job! Ya thought I'd be an easy lay just 'cuz ya dug my costume, and now this - all because that creep of yours wanted to get even with his boyfriend." SMACK in the gut. I go down. Practically fetal. "It wasn't just his boyfriend - it was yours, too. How the hell do you think I felt when I found out you and what's his name were spyin' on us? You call ME a con job? You fuckin' jagoff, I liked you for real. I thought you were hot. I just wanted you to start hangin' at our place so I'd have somethin' to look at once in a while, to get myself off to when I thought about you at night. You don't know what you did to me in that suit. I wanted to be with you!" He bends down to me, starts huggin', kissin', even grabbin' at me a little. "But we're with other guys", I said. "You mean I WAS with another guy. That man out there is dead! And yours is next if I have anything to do about it, if not you, too! You don't get it do ya?" "What do you mean?" "Look, I've always sort of needed someone, like, all my life, ya know? My dad and brother hated me, always blew me off, treated me like I was something different. I didn't have any friends and......I saw the likes of Batman on t.v. and the two of them were sort of like a dad and brother to me. Then I saw you guys at the bar the other night for that contest and I was just destroyed." "Then it wasn't really me ya liked, was it?" "Of course it was, I still treated you the same when you were yourself. Not that I ever experienced anything like that. I mean, as great as you looked that night, I saw who you were underneath that, and......." He just stopped. He looked at me for a second or two, then the look of sadness he had on his face turned to anger as he grabbed an AK-47 and me. He jabbed the weapon in the space between my arm and my torso and stood me in front of him as he went out to face the cops. I was bein' used as a human shield. As the cops pointed their weapons at Chesterton, he stuck the AK-47 out at them through my body and taunted, "I don't think you want to use those just now. If you do, it's bye-bye Boy Friday." He paused for a second. God, I hated it when he did that, he's gettin' another idea, I know. "Or is it bye-bye blue boys!" With the gun stickin' outta my arm, he blasted every cop in the room. My screams couldn't be heard over any of that blitzkrieg. Then he stuck his foot in front of mine and pushed me over til I fell on the floor. He loaded the AK-47 with another magazine of ammo, then aimed it right at me as I'm lyin' there, screamin' for my life, terrified outta my skull. I saw his finger on the trigger. I always believed a real man looks right at his assailant as he's about to get whacked, but I couldn't help myself this time. I squinted, heard a pop, then felt somethin' land on my legs. It was Chesterton! I wasn't hit at all, the pop was.......
.......ME! Man, I thought my boy was never gonna get outta the way. I am jokin' of course. I had my gun aimed at this bastard the whole time, just waitin' for a good shot at his head and I got it when he shoved Eddie to the floor. Chesterton keels over and I cackle, "HOT DAMN! Lucky shot!" and run over to see if Eddie's okay, or at least how badly he was hurt. He kept gettin' punctured like a stack of papers gettin' stapled. I saw this crumb lyin' on Eddie's legs and I kicked him over. "You ain't even got what it takes to die on this kid's body, much less lay down on it." I cut his bonds and try to pick him up. "Ya okay, there, boy?", I said. He looked at me for a second, then went over to where this town's finest gave up their lives for the two of us, and just stared. After all, these guys were like his brothers. I give 'im a minute, then walk over to 'im to try to put 'im at ease. I put my hand on his shoulder, hopin' then to put his head on mine, or somethin'. Man, I was missin' this kid and now that I got him back - he shrugs me off. He kinda even shoved me away a little. Then walked out. "Hey, Eddie, what's the deal?" He wouldn't answer. He wouldn't look back at me, he just kept goin'. Now, I had to stay back a little til some more cops got here and then we can clean up this mess. But I had to see what was up with Eddie. Maybe he was just all broken up about the cop shootin'. Yeah, maybe that.
posted by Brendan Chenowith at 2:03 PM
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