CHAPTER FORTY-NINE - We Must Never Speak of This Again

"You are cordially invited to attend commencement of graduation exercises of the Might Oak Police Academy Class of 2006. The enclosed tickets will admit MIKE BATZ and EDDIE ROBINSON".

EDDIE - That, of course, is an invitation from Skip, ya know, the janitor we almost got crushed to death with, to watch him graduate from the academy. He also wrote a note with it. I was so excited I just had to run and show Mike. It was all because of him that Skip got back in and finally made it. He was gonna be a Blue-Boy.

"Hey, Mike, check this out. Skip's invited us to watch him graduate from the academy. Is that all right or what? He even slipped us a note. It ssys, "Dear Mike and Eddie, it's only because of you two that I made it as far as I did with this and now I'm gonna move on and live out my dreams. This is all I ever wanted to do with my life and I have you two to thank for it, so I'd really like it if you could come out here. Not only did you help me get my life together, you also saved it, of course, if you didn't save my life, I wouldn't have one to put back together in the first place."

Eddie and I chuckled at that remark and he kept goin'.

"You are the two most important guys I ever knew and I want you to share the most important thing in my life, so will you come?"

Eddie folded the note up and said, "aw, man, we gotta go. Think of it, the whole weekend at the academy, what a buzz!"

We get ahold of Skip and tell 'im to expect the both of us. The academy was only about 2 hours away and we had a really nice, long, romantic drive. We wondered a little about "bein' ourselves", if you will, Anyway, we get to the academy, and ask for Skip. And he came and met us in the lobby. His ex-boss was right about him, having a cute little skip in his step. We smiled as we watched him walk, big smile, arms wide open, "Eddie, Mike, aw, I'm so glad ya could make it. I can't tell ya what this means to me." It was great to see him so happy, and the big bear hug he gave us felt like outta this world.

"Hey, you'll never guess what - my folks made it up here, too! Ya wanna come meet 'em?"

"Sure, I'd like that."

We walked down a little ways and there were Mr. and Mrs. Mc Inerney.

"Ma, dad, say how ya doin' to Mike Batz and Eddie Robinson, the two guys that got me in here."

"Hello, son, nice to meet you", his dad extended his hand and we shook, "Ernest has told us a lot about the two of you."

EDDIE - Skip's mom took my hand to shake it, too, but somethin' weird happened when we met eyes. She sorta smiled and couldn't stop lookin'. Her eyes were goin' back and forth lookin' at mine. Her head kinda shook back and forth a little, too.

"Uh, is there somethin' wrong, Mrs. Mc Inerney?"

That broke the spell - she caught herself. "Oh, uh, no, no, not a thing. It's just that you look so familiar to me."

Skip broke in, "well, you probably read about him in the papers, or somethin' ".

"No, no that's not it. No offense, but I don't read newspapers very often. Still, you just look so much like....."

"Marjorie", said his dad. "Don't".

"I'm sorry. Please forget I ever acted this way. Oh, uh, Kevin, I think I need to lie down for a while. It has been a long trip."

"Yes, I very well agree. Uh, excuse us please. It was nice to meet you, Detectives. Marjorie, come along."

MIKE - Come along? I'm surprised the old man didn't shake a leash, tap his leg and whistle. MAN, what a loser. And I thought Eddie had a fucked-up dad.

"I'll be along in a moment, Kevin" then she turned to me, "Uh, Detective, could I ask you something, in private, I mean?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, lemme get Eddie..."

"No, I just need to speak with you, if you wouldn't mind."

Eddie got a little, uh, not pissed, but he wasn't too thrilled. But Skip seized upon the moment, grabbin' Eddie's arm (you know I love doin' that, too, heh-heh)

"Hey, Robinson, come upstairs with me, I REALLY gotta show ya somethin'!"

EDDIE - Ya know, for a sec, I wondered why the old lady didn't wanna talk to me with Mike, too. She looked me all weird, like I did somethin'. Some hags are like that, ya know! Snotty little....no wonder Skip didn't have much to do with 'em. Poor guy - and I thought I had a messed up family.

We went up to Skip's room. He had me close my eyes and hold my hands out when we got in.

"Are you in for a treat! Okay...eyes closed, hands out...beautiful, that's got it."

I felt him put somethin' in my hands, felt like a magazine or somethin'.

"Okay, open up."

I opened my eyes and looked at what was in my hands. My eyes grew wider and wider, so did my mouth. I was really shocked. It was a first edition print of the first Batman comic book with the debut of Robin. It was beautiful. No tear at the top, no creases, no wear of the spine, it's just like it came out yesterday.

"Holy.....holy....uh, I can't think of anything."

"Speechless, huh?"

"Sure am."

"yeah, well that's what I thought when I got my first copy. I saw it at a garage sale. The owner only charged 5 bucks for it. Same thing happened again when I got my second one. This was at a comic book shop that was goin' outta business at the time. Do ya have this issue?"

"Well, just a reissue print, but not an original."

"Well, you do now."

"Huh?"

"It's yours. I figure I snapped up a couple of these 'cuz I didn't want anyone else to have this, the crimefightin' Bible, I call it. Then I met you. I was gonna just mail it to ya after ev'rything came out okay and we all ended up livin' and stuff, heh-heh, but this...that's one of the reasons I invited ya up here. I wanted to give this to ya in person. I thought it might be more special."

My heart was racin'. Not only 'cuz I was holdin' an original print, but just at this really beautiful gesture. He really opened up his heart and...it was such an honor, too, I mean, Batman and Robin mean ev'rything to me, and now I find another fan, another follower, who was keepin' a couple-a copies and could never find anyone else to share it with, and he chose to share it with me. I think I was wellin' up, too.

"Gee, Skip, I don't know what to say, I mean, this really, really makes me happy, I...ya know how much fun I was havin' goin' over almost ev'ry part of the show with ya that night, and now....Holy cow, Skip, just...thank you...I don't know how else to say it, but...really, thank you."

He smiled and said, "hey, we're fellow boys wonder, right? I know ya got the gig with Mike and I'm joinin' the force, wherever they're gonna put me, but when I'm out there on patrol, just like you are, in our hearts, we're fightin' crime together, probably at the same time. Hey, why dontcha look through it."

"Aw, no way, I can't open this up."

"What, ya afraid you're gonna get a little ink on them pretty little paws of yours?"

"No, I'm afraid my pretty little paws might mess it up. Ya think my paws are pretty?"

"Sure. Hey, put the book down for a sec. Let's have a look at them hands."

Skip took my hands in his and was kinda rubbin' 'em with his fingers, "nice, smooth, warm, but strong...comfortin'. Yep, these are the right hands to mash marauders, muggers and murderers. Yeah.....yeah..."

We were both smilin', then he looked up from my hands and our eyes met. Still smilin', then we leaned in a little closer to each other, closer, closer, then we kissed. We took each other's faces into our hands. His lips were soft, smooth, warm, but strong...comfortin'. But it was the wrong mouth. He put his arms around me and rubbed his cheek against mine and his voice broke and he sniffed a little as he said, "oh, Eddie, I'm so happy you're here. I wanted to do this when I got outta the hospital and we were talkin' that night. But Mike was around and I didn't wanna hurt 'im."

I held him, too. "Skip, you're so adorable, so cute. Any man should be more than thrilled to have you, but I do have Mike to think about. He saved my life. He really helped to turn it all around."

"Well, that's just what you did for me, too."

"Yeah, but me-n-Mike got married up in Canada and we're life partners. Skip, so sweet and thoughtful, so funny, I hate to use a well-worn cliche, but I wanna stay true to Mike, and meetin' you and hittin' it off with you, and ev'rything...I mean, Mike's my hero and all, but you're a brother Boy Wonder. Ya took a bullet for us and ya bounced back and now here ya are goin' on the Job. You're gonna have your partner's back, you'll save his life over and over again. Anyway, for lack of a better phrase, if Mike weren't my life partner and if I met you when I was single, who knows, who really knows. Ya got ev'rything to offer and I'd love to take ya up on that offer, you have NO idea, but I gave myself to Mike. I'm not mine to share with anyone else."

"That was real sweet. I didn't know how you were gonna react, but I just had to do it. Even if ya hit me and pushed me away, told me to never do that again, but I just had to let ya know my feelin's for ya. We got a real good weekend to spend if ya still wanna. Friends?"

I smiled through my tears and said, "BEST".

"Think of it like this, ya got a hero for a man and a boy wonder for a best friend. Not a bad deal."

"No, no it isn't."

"I never met anyone like you before. The time at the warehouse when we both screamed holy condemnation at the same time. We almost sounded alike, remember?"

I laughed at the memory of it and said, "I sure do. Hoo-boy, that was somethin'!"

"I never had a best friend before, much less a real one. I mean, yeah, I come from a good family and all that, but since I was about 6, I just felt really by myself, really cut off, outside ev'rything. I started watchin' tv a lot, saw the Batman show and just got hooked. From that time on, I was just livin' a fantasy, sorta. I dunno how to describe it any better."

"I know how that is. I was pretty lonely through a lot of my growin' up. My dad used to drink a lot, beat up on my mom, beat me up, too. Sold me for $20.00 to some guy down the street so he could have his way with me. Then my folks split up, my mom got custody, but my dad kidnapped me and was gonna kill me, just to get back at my mom for somethin', I dunno. Can't figure it out to this day. Ya wanna know somethin' funny - - Mike was the guy that rescued me from my dad. I read about 'im in the papers, followed 'im all over town when I was old enough to get around. We met when he was gettin' worked over by a couple of thugs and I went in there and pounded one of 'em."

"Wow, you rescued each other."

"Yeah, sure did. I thought he was hot, I jerked off to some newspaper photos of 'im, but Batman made me wanna be a crimefighter and who better to fight it with than the man who saved my life as a kid. You, uh, said that you were feelin' out of stuff when you were 6, I think. What happened with you?"

He looked down, took in a real deep breath and let it out. "My dad made us promise to never talk about it, so ya gotta keep this a secret, Right? No one can know I told ya about this, right?"

"As rain, Skip."

"Okay." He took another deep breath and rubbed his hands together. "This is the first time I'm tellin' anyone in I dunno how many years, so this hurts a lot...part of what made me the jerk I turned into. I had a brother, named after my dad. Now, I looked a lot like my dad, and the doctor told 'im he should name me after him, but he refused, he said his name was too good for me."

"What?"

"Yeah...so, I had a brother. I looked after 'im a lot 'cuz my dad was runnnin' a company and my ma was entertainin' a lot, havin' company, ya know, hittin' the sauce a little. It was just me-n-him. I didn't care if my dad liked 'im better, I thought there must be somethin' about 'im that my dad really liked, so I thought he was somethin' else, too. Cute little kid, I vaguely remember. So, anyway, the kid disappears, I asked about it, my dad told me to shut up. Whenever I brought it up, he'd smack me. Since then...since...I've been so empty, I didn't have nothin', I didn't want nothin', I just wanted to be left alone."

He started sobbin', I hugged 'im. "Gosh, Skip, I'm real sorry. How can I take your pain away, huh?"

"Ya just gotta let me get it out, I been holdin' it in too long"

His voice broke as he shouted, "TOO LONG!"

"Ya just gotta be my best friend. Can ya do that? Will ya? Huh?"

I have never heard anyone in such gut-wrenchin' pain like this. Loud, almost guttural weepin'. Years of abuse, years of isolation, years of emptiness, pain, suff'rin'. Buffered by Batman, relieved by Robin, to be sure, but now it could all finally come out. Yeah, I knew how that felt, too, but this wasn't about me. Mike took away all of my pain in life. I guess that's why not a single bullet, rope, or anything else could ever hurt me like my growin' up years. Same with Skip.

MIKE - Skip's old lady and me went into another room. Great, she's probably gonna put the moves on me. Can't say I blame her, though, I mean, look at that husband of her's for Pete's sake.

"Detective, I was wondering if you could do something for me?"

[Aw, crap!]

"I was staring at your partner for a little while, there was something about him, I couldn't take my eyes off him."

"I know how you mean, Mrs. M., heh-heh, that's what I go through every day."

"No,no, I don't mean that, I meant that there was something very familiar about him."

She reaches in her purse and takes out a photo. "Here. As they say, a picture speaks 1,000 words.

I look at the pic. I grin a little. Two cute little boys. Then my eyes widen as I look at the younger one. It didn't say 1,000 words, but I had at least two:

"Holy Crap!"

"What's the matter?"

"The baby - he kinda looks like Eddie!"

"Good. I was hoping you'd see it, too."

"What's this about?"

"We had another son after Ernest. His name was Kevin, and this photo was taken just weeks before Kevin disappeared at the age of two."

Two, huh? I was puttin' two and two together and came up with HOLY CRAP!

"Now, Detective, how would you go about finding out....."

I knew what she meant and I jumped in, "Well, there are birth records, they keep 'em all in City Hall, or somewhere. Uh, blood test, too, maybe."

"Blood test! That's a good start."

"Yeah, we can get blood samples from all-a youse, and have 'em all compared, see if there's a match."

"But how would we get the blood samples?"

Huh? Geez, what was with this dame? She ain't even blonde. But I went into Kindergarten teacher mode.

"Well, Mrs. M., blood is usually drawn with the aid of a long, thin, sharp object they're callin' a NEEDLE these days."

"Oh, Detective, I know how blood is drawn. My God, I sometimes have brunch with a woman who's a nurse and her husband works with Ticket Master. How do we get the blood samples without them knowing about it? I don't want the boys to know that I'm doing this. It might get their hopes up and I want to avoid leading them up to a possible disappointment."

I thought for a second, then POW!, it hit me like a sucker-punch. I remembered the bloodstained shirt I kept from an early case we worked together, the one where we got popped at the mobster's girlfriend's place. You remember I saved the shirt 'cuz Eddie used it to stop my bleedin', thinkin' that if one of us was gonna die, I wouldn't be me. He really put himself up for sacrifice and I never forgot it. Anyway, I never washed the shirt. I wanted to look at our blood comin' together as a symbol of us comin' together. I explained all this to the old lady, and said I could have DNA extracted from the kid's bloodstain. Then I played the hunch of the academy wantin' a blood sample for the physical to get in. Maybe I could subpoena the sample.

"Then we compare the samples and if they carry the same molecular pattern, we then take a sample from you. What about your old - - I mean, what about your husband?"

"No, absolutely not. He never wants to speak of Kevin, jr., so it's a safe bet he'd never take such a chance. I would think it would be enough to have the three of us match. It might make me look like a molecular whore, two boys and their mother with no father, but at least we'll know for sure."

She made a joke and giggled about it. I stared at her like she just told me she voted for Bush and has the Anita Bryant Anthology on CD. She didn't giggle anymore. I was glad.

"Now, Mrs. M., I gotta ask you, what's the payoff here? What would ya do with this information?"

"I would know for sure that my son is alive and healthy and happy. I can see him walking and talking and he looks as strong as an ox, but what I can't see right away - his happiness. Is he happy with his life, Detective?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that, so I went with the truth. "Aw, you should see him when we're bustin' bad guys. I never knew anyone who took our line of work so seriously and had such a good time doin' it at the same time. He's all about truth, justice and the American way. He's a real joy to have around, he always cheers me up when I'm down. I saved his life when he was little - his so-called paid to have 'im sodomized at one time, then he kidnaps him, had him locked up in a closet, then his ma put me on the case, I found him and his dad was sent up for life. We met for good within the past year when he saw me gettin' clobbered and stepped in and saved my life. We've been together ever since."

"As partners"

"Yeah - we both run the agency"

"Yes, but as PARTNERS"

"Meanin'?"

"Look, I saw two men getting pretty chummy when my husband and I first got here and they looked exactly like you."

"Whatcha see these two men doin'?"

"Kissing, touching, something like that."

BALLS, I thought, we try to be discreet, we don't wanna shove our life down anyone's throats. I had no idea anyone saw us.

"Mrs, M...."

"It's all right. The boy who could be my son looked happy. Besides, whatever the test results prove, my husband is never going to know. I mean, if he doesn't want to talk about Kevin, jr's memory, then what's the point? Anyway, will you do this for me?"

"Mrs. Mc Inerney, I will do ev'rything in my power to bring you the truth, to finally ease your sufferin', but I gotta tell ya, ya have to prepare yourself for any answer I get. Do ya think you can handle it either way?"

"It won't be easy, but at least I know we tried something at last."

"Good. Now, for the blood test. I'll match up the samples from the boys, but I'll also need a sample from you. If there's a way you can excuse yourself and we can go to some kinda clinic or somethin', we could get the sample sometime this weekend."

EDDIE - Graduation came and went. He stood with all of his fellow cadets, saluted as he received his diploma, beamed and even hooted and hollered as he tossed his cap in the air like ev'ryone else. My new best friend was now one of the long arms of the law, dedicatin' his life to serve and protect. This is what he was born to do, just like he did with his baby brother, Kevin. I dunno what this kid musta looked like or what happened to 'im. Could be he went on to have a really great life, could be he was killed. I thought about this kid a lot. You can think of someone without knowin' anything about them, all ya need is their existence, really.

MIKE - Me and Mrs. M. drove out to a nearby clinic and we took a blood sample. I carried the test tube with me in one of my inside pockets the whole time. I was also able to get a readin' on Skip's DNA, the only thing left to do was to get a sample from the bloodstained shirt of Eddie's. Then we were off.

I took ev'rything to a lab and was told it would take 7 to 10 business days. In the meantime, I searched for any newspaper stories about any missin' kids from the time Eddie was a two year-old. All I found was what Mrs. M. told me about. I also stopped by the birth records office back home and saw no record of a birth of "Eddie Robinson".

We got back home, me-n-Eddie, and a few days went by before a letter arrived for me in the mail. It was from the clinic. Eddie noticed me peekin' at it and asked, "hey, what's that ya got in the mail, Mike?" I says to Eddie, I says, "Kid, I gotta tell ya somethin' in the livin' room. I need ya sittin' down for this."

EDDIE - We had a blast at Skip's graduation from the academy and the family, well, at least Skip's mom, were really nice, it was great spendin' time with 'em. I was still buzzin' from all of it when Mike got a package in the mail. Bein' the no-stone-unturned gumshoe I am, I investigated, he told me he had to talk to me in the livin' room. Okay, so we went and sat down.

"Okay, Mike, what's up?"

"Eddie, talk to me about Skip."

[Holy creeps - I think he knows about his pass at me. Only one thing to do, just come right out with it]

"Okay, Mike, here it is. When me-n-Skip were in his room, he was showin' me a Batman comic that he gave me, and he told me he was attracted to me and he kissed me. He said he had feelin's for me, but I told him 'bout us and that I didn't think I should go for him."

"Well, I figured he was gonna make some move, I mean, the way he was lookin' at ya and ev'rything, it was only a matter of time, but it was good that ya told him to back off."

"Well, of course, I did. Skip's cute and funny and he's a nice guy and all, but it's you I wanna live the rest of my life with."

"Ya said that to 'im?"

"I think I said I gave myself to you and I wanna stay true."

"I've been expectin' that guys'll fall for ya from time to time, but it's good ya stood your ground, especially now."

"I don't getcha."

"Talk to me about Skip."

"Again, all he did was kiss me and I let 'im down gently."

"Nah, nah, nah, not that, we covered that. I mean, think about the time you spent together in the warehouse, when we busted his ex-bosses, when he took a bullet for us, when we were duckin' those shots. Talk to me about when he was over here and said he got thrown outta the academy for bein' gay. Think about it and talk to me."

"Gosh, I....I remember thinkin' it was funny in the warehouse when we got scared and shouted the same thing at the same time, and then when we sorta sniped at each other and wrestled and the way he acted in the boss's office when we called 'im on the carpet, then took a slug in the ribs durin' the bust."

"Remind ya of anyone you know?"

"For Creeps' sake, Boss-man, what are ya gettin' at?"

MIKE - I was tryin' to build up the suspense, but I sensed I was goin' too far, but I had one more clue that'd put a light bulb up in Eddie's head. I took out the photo Mrs. M. gave me and handed it to Eddie. "Here, take a look at this."

"Cute kids"

"Look a little closer"

"Ya know somethin', the chubby one looks a bit like Skip and the other one kinda reminds me of.....HOLY CREEPS!"

[That's got 'im]

"Looks kinda like you, don't he?"

"Wow, did we play together in nursery school, or somethin'?"

"Ya might've."

"Wow, we actually met back then, I didn't even remember it, at least not consciously, anyway, maybe we fought, do ya think? This looks more like a family portrait. Why would anyone take a snapshot like this of two little kids unless they were...."

[DING DING DING DING DING DING]

"Mrs. Mc Inerney told me about Kevin, jr. disappearin'. Skip probably told you about the same thing."

"Well, yeah, but....wow (heh-heh) holy coincidence, right?"

"No. Mrs. Mc Inerney consented to submit to a blood test. In fact, it was her idea. I didn't say anything to ya 'cuz I didn't wanna jinx anything or get ya all wound up. I took the blood-stained shirt you used to plug up my bullet wound and extracted a blood sample from that. I also got a sample of Skip's blood from his physical to get into the academy. All three samples bore identical molecular structure. Eddie Robinson, you are charged with that ya used to be Kevin Mc Inerney, Jr. before you were kidnapped at the age of two and never heard from or seen again. How do you plead?"

[Eddie sat and stared for however long. As much as I usually loved it when his mouth hung open in that sexy pout of his, and those wide eyes dancin' in a pool of innocence, I was hopin' he'd say somethin' before the end of this decade]

"Well, how do ya plead?"

"That this is all some kind of a joke."

HOLY WHO AM I!

CREEPIN' CONFUSED IDENTITY!

WELL, BLESS MY BLOOD BLOTCHES!

DARN THAT DRATTED D.N.A.!

EDDIE REALLY THE STOLEN SON OF A GLORIFIED CAR DEALER?

THE BROTHER OF THE JANITOR-BUILT-LIKE-A-DRUM?

IT'S NOT LIKE HE HAS TO GO OFF AND LEAVE MIKE TO LIVE WITH HIS NEW PARENTS, UNLESS THEY HAVE SOME ISSUES, AND IT LOOKS LIKE HIS NEW DAD KINDA DOES!

IS THIS ALL A COINCIDENCE? I BET THE BEAUTIFUL, BUFF BOY-FRIDAY WISHES HE WERE HANDCUFFED TO A TREE AGAIN INSTEAD OF BEING INVOLVED IN THIS!

TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GONNA BE SAID, DONE, FELT, THOUGHT, WRITTEN ABOUT, READ BY YOU, JUST HANG ON TIL THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!