CHAPTER EIGHT-SEVEN Big Bad Baby Cop
When we last saw our heroes, they were called in to find a missing businessman. Upon arrival in a small town, they encountered a police officer who unwittingly tipped them off to strange goings-on in a local inn. Not only did they investigate, and were captured in their investigation, so, too, was the cop, who decided to do some investigation of his own. Now, with the lives of Mike, Eddie, and the cop all in peril, we breathlessly continue.
Meanwhile, the boy cop begins to regain consciousness. He looks around the room to check his surroundings. He sees his arms raised upward on either side of his head, then looks up only to discover his hands are tied and the rope is attached to a hook in the ceiling. He begins to panic and tries to yank himself free, each pull and tug only bringing out the veins in his bi-ceps. His breathing stunted, his face reddened, he grits his teeth, grimaces. This is not, of course, how he'd planned to spend his down time. Herman walks in and slams the door. "I thought you'd never wake up."
"What the heck is going on here? What is the MEANING of this?!?!?"
"You're that stupid little baby-cop that's always hangin' out around here, always gettin' coffee with your stupid partner - your DEAD partner. And now you and those two other idiot-fucks are snooping around here. What's the meaning of that, huh?"
Herman slams a right hook into the cop's chest, making him scream in pain. He refelexively doubles over, but he can't because he's being stretched, hands tied to the ceiling, his feet planted firmly on the ground.
"TELL ME!"
He gives him a backhand slap across the face, so forceful it sends his head back, and so painful he struggles to catch his breath.
"Why was my friend hanging from the wall in your basement? What're you gonna do with him?"
"If you gotta know, he's being tenderized. While he's hanging there, he'll be pounded so severely, he'll weaken, and fall unconscious, then we can grind him up. We do that with old guys who fuck with us - knock 'em out, grind them up and make meatloaf outta them - we sell it to the butcher down the street."
A look of horror and disgust comes over the cop's baby-face, "Holy Hannibal - you're CANNIBALS!"
"Yeah - and there ain't nothing you can do about it, neither. With you and them two other losers outta the way, me-n-my maw can get back to business. Which reminds me, I gotta go take care of that other little putz, but in the meantime - ya like movies, Baby-Cop?"
Herman reveals a tv set with a VCR. "I think you'll get off on this - I play this tape about 5, 6 times a day and jag off to it. I gotta keep a rag around 'cuz I'm always stainin' the carpet."
He turns the tape on and something looks familiar to the boy-cop. It's footage of a squad car in pursuit. Then the two cars pull over and two cops get out of the car. Boy Cop recognizes that it's himself and his late partner about to be ambushed by their suspect. It's video of their LAST RIDE together!!!
"You - you GHOUL! Where did you get this footage?"
"I heard some ruckus and got my video camera out and filmed the whole thing. I also did some cleaning up so now you can hear every shot, every scream. Good stuff, ain't it?"
"I get it! You're trying to drive me crazy! Well, it's NOT gonna work!"
"Oh, I wouldn't talk too soon. You've been a little down in the mouth since the whole thing happened. I think you feel guilty."
"What're you talkin' about?"
"I think it really gets to you that you caused your friend to die. It's all your fault. If you were a better shot, and got that guy first, your partner would still be alive, and you wouldn't be snooping around here like you are, but no, you had to be a bad little baby-cop and get your partner killed."
The Boy-Cop starts to struggle mightily against his bonds and he struggles to stifle a scream. He turns his head away, but Herman gives him another back-handed slap across the face and grabs him by the short hairs in the back of his head and holds his head in place.
"Did I say you could turn away, you little asshole - I said WATCH IT!"
The Boy Cop really starts screaming at this point. This is torture at its most sadistic. But Herman's not finished yet.
"So what was the plan, eh? I know you weren't just some bad aim. I think it was a set-up. I think you planned to get your partner killed so you could muscle in on his old lady and make off with some of that life insurance. What was it, about 2, 3 hundred thou?"
"YOU - DEMON! You low-life SCUMBAG. You just wait! I'll get outta this and you're gonna PAY!"
"No. You're not getting outta here the way you hope. There's only 3 ways and you're not gonna like any of them, but I'll love all of 'em. You're either gonna starve to death, go insane and get tossed in the loony bin, or, I could just put a bullet between your beautiful baby-blue eyes. I really haven't decided yet. By the way, I made a loop of this tape and it'll go on for at least two hours. Will you last that long? Hopefully not!"
He leaves and the Boy Cop, as beside himself as he is, continues to struggle, doesn't see the ropes giving way any time soon and lets out a blood curdling scream which gives way to sobs.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Meanwhile, Eddie, the third dynamic do-gooder, wakes up to find himself with his hands tied in the front with the rest of his body bed-bound by criss-cross wires pinned to the bed-frame. His head is the only part of his body he can move freely. "Holy Gulliver's Travels"
"I like that. It proves there's a mind underneath that fine fee-zeek of yours."
It's Herman, now joined by his maw.
"What's all this about?"
"You just never mind all that - we filled your crimefighting cronies in on all of that, and they'll tell you all about it when you all meet at that great cop-shop in the sky."
Eddie's a little confused. Of course he knows Mike as one crony. "You said crimefighting cronies, a plural. Is there someone else?"
"Yeah, some stupid little cop that felt like snooping around the place. Knucklehead shoulda stuck with directin' traffic - but that's neither here nor there. We're gonna kill all of youse - the other two are pretty much on the way out, so you got some catchin' up to do."
Eddie gets disgusted and starts gritting his teeth and catching his breath as he struggles against his bonds. "Oh, you think you're cleaver, don't ya! Using a bed-n-breakfast as a front to capture and kill your tourists, just so you can turn their remains into meatloaf! I've never heard of anything so diabolically DESPICABLE! You'll be brought to justice at some point - kill us all if you wish, but SOMEONE's gonna bring you down. YOU JUST WAIT!"
"Someone, huh? And just who did you have in mind?"
"Someone who's as dedicated to law enforcement as we are. There's plenty of us all out there. The good guys outnumber the bad guys at LEAST 10 to 1."
"Guess what, you little Shit-bag Sherlock. Your time has come. Your flesh isn't ripe enough to sell off, but I think I know who could stand a little nibble. Herman, hand mother the jar."
Herman reaches for a jar and hands it to his mother. She opens up the lid and starts sprinkling the contents. Eddie tries to move away, but he's hopelessly bound and can't move an inch. To his horror, he looks around and sees ants crawling all over him. He lets out a scream as they begin to bite.
"Holy Nick-In-The-Box! FIRE ANTS!"
Herman sneers, "Exactly. I guess me and you are CSI fans. Too bad you're on the wrong side of the law and wanna lock us up. We coulda been buddies. Now, Nick got outta this, but it doesn't look like you will. There's no Gil Grissom gonna find out where you are. You're on your own."
"Oh, Herman, dear, now that we've secured these little snoopers, what do you say we relax in the parlor with a bit of sherry."
"That's a good idea, maw - I could use a nip or two."
As Eddie screams and cries in agony, the two leave him to his fate - arm-in-arm - off to the parlor.
I'm afraid we have to leave you here with these images - Boy Cop screaming out for his partner as he watches him die repeatedly, Mike and Eddie both screaming out for each other while the bad guys relax with a nice nip of sherry in the parlor. Is there no justice?!?
Yes, there is, but we're not there yet - just read onto the next chapter and you'll see it all unfold. As Eddie would scream, YOU JUST WAIT!
Meanwhile, the boy cop begins to regain consciousness. He looks around the room to check his surroundings. He sees his arms raised upward on either side of his head, then looks up only to discover his hands are tied and the rope is attached to a hook in the ceiling. He begins to panic and tries to yank himself free, each pull and tug only bringing out the veins in his bi-ceps. His breathing stunted, his face reddened, he grits his teeth, grimaces. This is not, of course, how he'd planned to spend his down time. Herman walks in and slams the door. "I thought you'd never wake up."
"What the heck is going on here? What is the MEANING of this?!?!?"
"You're that stupid little baby-cop that's always hangin' out around here, always gettin' coffee with your stupid partner - your DEAD partner. And now you and those two other idiot-fucks are snooping around here. What's the meaning of that, huh?"
Herman slams a right hook into the cop's chest, making him scream in pain. He refelexively doubles over, but he can't because he's being stretched, hands tied to the ceiling, his feet planted firmly on the ground.
"TELL ME!"
He gives him a backhand slap across the face, so forceful it sends his head back, and so painful he struggles to catch his breath.
"Why was my friend hanging from the wall in your basement? What're you gonna do with him?"
"If you gotta know, he's being tenderized. While he's hanging there, he'll be pounded so severely, he'll weaken, and fall unconscious, then we can grind him up. We do that with old guys who fuck with us - knock 'em out, grind them up and make meatloaf outta them - we sell it to the butcher down the street."
A look of horror and disgust comes over the cop's baby-face, "Holy Hannibal - you're CANNIBALS!"
"Yeah - and there ain't nothing you can do about it, neither. With you and them two other losers outta the way, me-n-my maw can get back to business. Which reminds me, I gotta go take care of that other little putz, but in the meantime - ya like movies, Baby-Cop?"
Herman reveals a tv set with a VCR. "I think you'll get off on this - I play this tape about 5, 6 times a day and jag off to it. I gotta keep a rag around 'cuz I'm always stainin' the carpet."
He turns the tape on and something looks familiar to the boy-cop. It's footage of a squad car in pursuit. Then the two cars pull over and two cops get out of the car. Boy Cop recognizes that it's himself and his late partner about to be ambushed by their suspect. It's video of their LAST RIDE together!!!
"You - you GHOUL! Where did you get this footage?"
"I heard some ruckus and got my video camera out and filmed the whole thing. I also did some cleaning up so now you can hear every shot, every scream. Good stuff, ain't it?"
"I get it! You're trying to drive me crazy! Well, it's NOT gonna work!"
"Oh, I wouldn't talk too soon. You've been a little down in the mouth since the whole thing happened. I think you feel guilty."
"What're you talkin' about?"
"I think it really gets to you that you caused your friend to die. It's all your fault. If you were a better shot, and got that guy first, your partner would still be alive, and you wouldn't be snooping around here like you are, but no, you had to be a bad little baby-cop and get your partner killed."
The Boy-Cop starts to struggle mightily against his bonds and he struggles to stifle a scream. He turns his head away, but Herman gives him another back-handed slap across the face and grabs him by the short hairs in the back of his head and holds his head in place.
"Did I say you could turn away, you little asshole - I said WATCH IT!"
The Boy Cop really starts screaming at this point. This is torture at its most sadistic. But Herman's not finished yet.
"So what was the plan, eh? I know you weren't just some bad aim. I think it was a set-up. I think you planned to get your partner killed so you could muscle in on his old lady and make off with some of that life insurance. What was it, about 2, 3 hundred thou?"
"YOU - DEMON! You low-life SCUMBAG. You just wait! I'll get outta this and you're gonna PAY!"
"No. You're not getting outta here the way you hope. There's only 3 ways and you're not gonna like any of them, but I'll love all of 'em. You're either gonna starve to death, go insane and get tossed in the loony bin, or, I could just put a bullet between your beautiful baby-blue eyes. I really haven't decided yet. By the way, I made a loop of this tape and it'll go on for at least two hours. Will you last that long? Hopefully not!"
He leaves and the Boy Cop, as beside himself as he is, continues to struggle, doesn't see the ropes giving way any time soon and lets out a blood curdling scream which gives way to sobs.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Meanwhile, Eddie, the third dynamic do-gooder, wakes up to find himself with his hands tied in the front with the rest of his body bed-bound by criss-cross wires pinned to the bed-frame. His head is the only part of his body he can move freely. "Holy Gulliver's Travels"
"I like that. It proves there's a mind underneath that fine fee-zeek of yours."
It's Herman, now joined by his maw.
"What's all this about?"
"You just never mind all that - we filled your crimefighting cronies in on all of that, and they'll tell you all about it when you all meet at that great cop-shop in the sky."
Eddie's a little confused. Of course he knows Mike as one crony. "You said crimefighting cronies, a plural. Is there someone else?"
"Yeah, some stupid little cop that felt like snooping around the place. Knucklehead shoulda stuck with directin' traffic - but that's neither here nor there. We're gonna kill all of youse - the other two are pretty much on the way out, so you got some catchin' up to do."
Eddie gets disgusted and starts gritting his teeth and catching his breath as he struggles against his bonds. "Oh, you think you're cleaver, don't ya! Using a bed-n-breakfast as a front to capture and kill your tourists, just so you can turn their remains into meatloaf! I've never heard of anything so diabolically DESPICABLE! You'll be brought to justice at some point - kill us all if you wish, but SOMEONE's gonna bring you down. YOU JUST WAIT!"
"Someone, huh? And just who did you have in mind?"
"Someone who's as dedicated to law enforcement as we are. There's plenty of us all out there. The good guys outnumber the bad guys at LEAST 10 to 1."
"Guess what, you little Shit-bag Sherlock. Your time has come. Your flesh isn't ripe enough to sell off, but I think I know who could stand a little nibble. Herman, hand mother the jar."
Herman reaches for a jar and hands it to his mother. She opens up the lid and starts sprinkling the contents. Eddie tries to move away, but he's hopelessly bound and can't move an inch. To his horror, he looks around and sees ants crawling all over him. He lets out a scream as they begin to bite.
"Holy Nick-In-The-Box! FIRE ANTS!"
Herman sneers, "Exactly. I guess me and you are CSI fans. Too bad you're on the wrong side of the law and wanna lock us up. We coulda been buddies. Now, Nick got outta this, but it doesn't look like you will. There's no Gil Grissom gonna find out where you are. You're on your own."
"Oh, Herman, dear, now that we've secured these little snoopers, what do you say we relax in the parlor with a bit of sherry."
"That's a good idea, maw - I could use a nip or two."
As Eddie screams and cries in agony, the two leave him to his fate - arm-in-arm - off to the parlor.
I'm afraid we have to leave you here with these images - Boy Cop screaming out for his partner as he watches him die repeatedly, Mike and Eddie both screaming out for each other while the bad guys relax with a nice nip of sherry in the parlor. Is there no justice?!?
Yes, there is, but we're not there yet - just read onto the next chapter and you'll see it all unfold. As Eddie would scream, YOU JUST WAIT!
posted by Brendan Chenowith at 2:51 PM
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