CHAPTER NINETY-ONE - The Greedy Goulish Girl

MIKE - Me-n-Eddie found ourselves in yet another snag. Pearl had us tied to pillars inside the duck-shooting gallery - the old game of chance and skill where the player tries to hit a plastic duck with a pellet. Here was the thing, though - there was only a thin sheet of plywood separating us from the ducks and every time a duck was rolled past either of us, we were hit with the pellets. These, of course, were non-penetrating, but they packed a much harder whallop than they normally would.

Eddie was hit a few times and in between catching his breath and sustaining and recovering from another hit. "Holy target practice! These pellets are pounding my person. We gotta get outta this before the real bullets are fired."

I got popped a couple of times and grimaced and moaned before I could catch my breath to say,"these are the hardest bonds I've ever struggled against - MMMPH! - I can't really tell what they've tied us with. They're wrapped around the cuffs of my shirt-sleeves".

"They're ropes, all right", said Eddie, who should know. His wrists were bare, "I can feel the fibers, but these must be industrial strength ropes".

Then it happened - the unthinkable - each of us were hit next by one of the planted bullets - Eddie cried out "holy hollow tip!" and we slumped down, still tied to the pillars. Then we heard something from the other side of the plywood barrier.

"Wow, did you hear all that screaming? What great sound effects!"

"No, it was no sound effect. I think there's somebody back there."

There was a kind of scuffle, then the plywood was knocked down by a man who was shocked to discover us writhing and moaning while pinned to these posts.

"Holy Toledo! It's the Dashing Detectives!"

There was a gasp of horror - "oh my GOD!" - "Untie them!" "How did they ever get into this?" "Oh, please don't let them die!"

The man who discovered us first untied Eddie who grimaced and clutched his stomach and fell over the minute he was released. I did, too. A couple of members of the crowd even ran up to us - "oh, you poor guys...are you gonna be okay?" - I could hear the faint sobs in their voices. The man also checked our wounds and he and the crowd discovered, to their relief, and ours, that our Kevlar tee-shirts had stopped the bullets from penetrating, but they still may have bruised our internal organs on impact.

Eddie was moaning and his face was contorted in agony as he fought for breath.
"Why did she DO this to us?"

Eddie had a point - sharper than that of a hollow tip bullet - this had, after all, started off as a case of grand larceny. That she would want to make this brutal attempt on our lives over pilfered pearls only could suggest that she was one of the most deadly enemies we've ever faced, the greedy goulish girl. The bullets were pretty well smashed when they slammed into our body armor, but they looked pretty huge - not your typical .22 slug. Pearl had meant for these to rip right through us.

EDDIE - I felt the pellets hitting me, and they were sore enough, but I sure knew when I was getting hit by a bullet and I was amazed when I saw how big it was. Me-n-Mike were treated right away. The docs checked us for bruising, internal bleeding and all, and found nothing wrong. We were good to go, but this was a huge obstacle. We were back at our place in no time and I shared my frustration:

"Gosh, this ticks me off - Pearl could be anywhere by now, and we almost had her by this much! She could be making her next move right now and we have NO CLUE."

"I disagree - she is making her next move and we have every clue."

"How can you tell?"

"We got it all on tape, when I was playing 'newsman' - I was wearing a wire - listen."

"I must say your collection is exquisite."

"Yes, thank you - and there'll be more additions to it quite soon. There's a bauble show this weekend and I'm certainly going to make my presence known there."

"Ah - really!"

"Oh, yes, only the finest and rarest baubles you can imagine. Oh, Mr. Grant, I just get goosepimples dreaming about being showered with all those diamonds. I'm going to strike, uh, I mean, I'm going to attend this Saturday evening."

I shut the recorder off and Eddie is wringing his fist. "Strike, huh?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. You see, Eddie, having known about that, and wearing protection, I didn't really sweat it out at all. Sure it was a roadblock, but it's easily overcome. I just thank God you were wearing yours too, boy."

"Well, most jewel heists are armed, and I didn't wanna take any chances."

"Come here, kid, I wanna put my arm around you. Ya know, I get mixed feelings when I see you like this. Part of it makes me proud because you get bothered by roadblocks like these. The thought of Pearl trying to kill us and seemingly getting away with it must have really busted you up inside, but another part of me just hates to see ya like that - just hates to see ya lose heart when things don't go well for us. Do ya sometimes lose faith, Eddie? Do ya feel like giving up sometimes?"

"Wait a minute - where are you getting all of this?"

"Just say yes and get it overwith - just admit it."

"How can you even think anything like that about me? I can't believe..."

"Because I have the same thoughts myself. Sure, in this case, I thank God we got the evidence and it was just pure luck that Pearl gave me this clue, whether she knew it or not at the time. But, yeah, sometimes I wonder if it's worth it - the beatings, the assaults, the roadblocks. If the two of us just chucked it all and became garbagemen that'd be okay with me because we'd still be together, but we wouldn't be who we really are. So I hang in there, I tell myself inside to shut up and keep going. I do get those thoughts, I never wanted to admit it to you because I'm afraid you'd wonder if I was really the man you fell in love with - and I know you're thinking the same thing - do I think differently of you when you lose hope. And the answer is no. Eddie, my love, my partner, my sidekick, of course, those thoughts come up because we're both human, so it's all right - but ya just gotta tell yourself to shut up inside - enforce your faith in all that's good, then you'll make it so. We're supposed to make stuff right in this life and know we're always gonna come out on top. Always. Are ya with me?"

EDDIE - I sure was, am and always will be. The look he had on his face as he said all this to me was priceless. We stood face to face - I looked on him adoringly, the porkpie hat, the shirt with the top button undone, the tie hanging loosely around his neck, his vest unbuttoned. He laid his hands on my arms and I held his bi-ceps in my hands. Our bodies touched, I loved the feel of his cotton shirt. I loved the earnest look of compassion and reassurance on his face. I loved the gruff gravelly voice say the most soothing yet beautiful yet vulnerable words. It was a moment when I really knew we were one. We were captured, roped, tied and wounded together. No greater bond between two men is cemented faster than by shared suffering and shared victory. We were rescued from what could've been a mallardy grave, and we still shared suffering - the snag we were hit with when Pearl escaped as bullets slammed up against our bodies, but we would rise up from this. Pearl and her gang would be brought to justice, but you'll just have to keep reading to find out how that unfolded.

"I sure am with ya. Now, let's beat it to the bauble bash, Boss-Man!"

"BINGO!"

- - - - - - - -

MIKE - We get to the bauble show - not that it was really called that, it was something like Jewel Expo, or something. Be that as it may, me-n-Eddie made our way to the upper level of the auditorium, catchin' a birds-eye view of the whole layout - we had binoculars, the whole shebang. Eddie was alarmed at the sight of Pearl with her two lugnuts.

"Look, Boss-Man! Hannah and Her Bruisers at ten-o-clock! Oooh, they sure got guts!"

"Not exactly, Kiddo - they think they got cart-blanche. They think we're dead."

"They're gonna wish they were when we get through with 'em. Got the cops comin'?"

"As always, my boy."

Pearl makes her way up to a vendor and reaches toward the back of her head - then a blinding blast of light subdues the vendor and those around the booth.

"HOLY LOU CHRISTIE!"

And we jump down into the middle of the melee - one of the thugs shouts out, "nobody move! This is a hold-up!" - and I shout "and this is the END of the hold-up!"

We each take on a thug and proceed to cut and jab- I get a few good punches in. Eddie, however, really went to town on his, even making the poor bastard scream and Eddie even drew a little blood. We subdue them in a matter of minutes and slap on the cuffs - we always wrap our packages nice and pretty and ready for pick-up. Just then, Pearl strikes - a 6-shooter in each hand aimed right at us.

"HANDS UP!"

CRAP IT ALL

"Uncuff my men or I'll blast your faces off!"

"Holy Mexican Stand-off!"

Of course this was pretty jarring - my heart was poundin' almost right outta my chest - about to pop through my pecs. We've been through this kind of thing before. Still reachin' for the sky, I took a few breaths and I started talkin' to this bim.

"Hey, listen, lady, come on - are ya sure ya wanna go through with this?"

"Hey, listen, copper, come on - with these babies I bring to their knees screaming and dying hundreds of flatfeet - or is it flatfoots?"

"Okay, so ya shoot us and we fall down dead - big deal - what's it gonna get ya, toots? Life in prison with no hope of parole, and that's if the jury's in a good mood."

"You were in enough hot water just bein' a jewel thief. That only gets ya a few years - but then you blinded two innocent sales guys and ya maced the two of us. That stuff's illegal in this town. Right there, that's four counts of assault with a deadly weapon."

"Not to mention two counts of attempted murder of law enforcement officers, while using innocent law-abiding citizens as pawns in your putrid plot. Just ducky."

"And look what you've done here today - creating a mass disturbance. You won't be so amazing where you're going, sister. The chicks in the pen'll take one look at you and eat you for breakfast."

"But I will kill you and I'll never go anywhere."

"Oh, gimme a break. If ya wanted to start poppin' us, ya woulda done it already."

She FIRES! I flinch, but I'm not goin' down - I'm not in pain, I'm not bleeding. I'm not hit!

"Eddie! You okay?"

Eddie was now laughing and he folded his arms as he walked slowly toward our nemesis, then holding out his hands. "Ya wanna hand 'em over?"

"Good GOD, Eddie! What're ya thinking? She's a cold-blooded murderess!"

Eddie takes the guns out of her hands and empties the chambers outta one of them.

"With blanks?"

He hands me the other gun, "go on, help yourself. No reason I should have all the fun."

Pearl was beside herself with shock!

"My God, how did that happen?"

"Yeah, that's what I'd like to know."

Eddie stuck his gun in his tool belt and took a couple of steps back, spreading his legs, clutching his fist.

"Very simple, Boss-Man! When I was playin' Jimmy Olsen the other day, I spotted these little babies of hers outta the corner of my eye. At first I thought I'd just empty the bullets, but I thought this one would really end up with egg on her face if she fired the shots and nothing happened. So I stuck a few blanks in there. I was afraid she'd resort to that if she blitzkrieged another bauble boutique. Nothin' says cold-blooded evil better than a beautiful woman with a gun in her hands. But now we get the last laugh."

"JEE-zus MUR-phy, Kiddo - that's fantastic!"

"Very clever. I say, Detective, you should be proud of your young man. Nice job."

"Yeah, it was, wasn't it. So - ya wanna just cut the crap and come with us?"

She shrugs and says, "sure - why not. I know when I've been licked. Could we all walk out arm in arm?"

"Huh?"

I smirk and say, "it's okay, Kiddo. Let's cuff her first, though."

Eddie slaps the cuffs on her and she opens her arms a little, givin' us both a little room to slide our arms in.

"Now, this is more like it. Though I now go to - how you say - the hoosegow - not exactly a walk in the park - it's good for a lady to be escorted by two such gorgeous gentlemen such as yourselves."

No argument there, sister - no argument there.

CHAPTER NINETY - The Amazing Pearl

MIKE - This last case of ours was unbelievable. No, not the taxi kidnappers, that was a while ago and all is well with that. Here was another one - just another indication that the work we do in this life is far from finished. In a way, that's a good thing, 'cuz there's always use for guys like me-n-Eddie, but it's also bad in a way 'cuz there's yet another crime victim. These occupations out there aree always based on someone else's need. If I was a plumber, I'd probably be all pumped about a busted water pipe. Sometimes these thoughts do occur to me and I often wonder whether I'm just capitalizing on someone else's bad luck. I guess Eddie would probably grit his teeh and say something like, "holy existentialism", or something.

Anyway, I got a call from one of them what-ya-call an exclusive jewelry store, the kind where you need an appointment - I guess that's to keep the lowlifes outta there - no lowlife worth is salt is gonna wait around for an appointment, they're just gonna grab what they want and run. That's kinda what happened with this new nemesis of ours.

We get to this shop and find our callers with cold rags over their eyes, dabbing away at them. Aw, Jesus Murphy they looked bad, too, red, swollen, teary-eyed - we introduce ourselves and the story comes out.

"So what happened here?"

"Oh, God, it was awful. This woman comes in and was admiring a certain pearl necklace we had in stock. And I do mean had."

The other clerk chimes in, "it was a rarity in our catalog and is was valued and priced at $300,000."

Eddie says, "in your catalog? Ya got a photo of it in there?"

"We sure do"

The clerk opens the catalog to the page featuring the now-missing item.

"It is quite exquisite, isn't it?"

It sure was - I didn't think it was worth 300 G's, but it sure was a beaut.

"So how'd she purloin it?"

"Beg pardon?"

Eddie clarified, "What form of weaponry did she utilize?"

"I'm not really sure. It happened so fast. She had tried it on in front of a mirror to see how she'd look with it on, then there was a bright flash of some kind, and the nest thing we knew, our eyes were burning and we couldn't see a thing."

"Except spots."

"You definitely need to get your peepers checked out as soon as possible - no telling what damage that flash might've done."

Eddie asked what the pearl-pinchin' perpetrator looked like.

"Oh, she was quite striking - I'd never seen her before, but she walks in, heads right for the pearl's display case..."

"Hmm, sounds like she cased the joint earlier"

"She what?"

"Checked out the layout of the place at an earlier time."

"Oh, I don't know about that - I would've remembered seeing her before."

"Disguises - crooks are pretty good at that sort of thing."

"They start off that way, anyway, but then somewhere along the way they get too sure of themselves, then they slip up, and that's where we nail 'em!"

"Eddie's right - but, again, what'd she look like?"

"She had flaming red hair, very wavy, a lot of eye makeup."

"All dressed in leather, too - her hat, her coat, her boots, too."

"Can you recall any gesture she made before the flash bomb went off?"

"When she put the necklace on, she clasped it in the back, and was adjusting her hair, then I think I saw her throw something at us."

"And that's when the flash went off. I couldn't see anything after that, but I heard her running out and laughing."

EDDIE - I looked around a little while Mike interviewed the victims - not at the jewels, but for any security devices - I didn't see any, and I was curious.

MIKE - I folded my arms and asked, "Did she touch anything else in here - people sometimes lean on the glass when they're lookin' at stuff - maybe she might've left fingerprints we can analyze."

"No, she just waltzed right in and headed straight for the display case and pointed at it - the pearls were the only thing she touched in here, while she was closing it in the back."

EDDIE - "Figures", I thought to myself - I felt bad for these guys at first, as I would for anyone who'd just been a victim of a crime, but I don't think they were. Oh, there's a crime all right, but not a theft, I was gettin' to think. I kept lookin' to Mike to finish this up so I could let him in on my suspicion.

"Well, gentlemen, looks like we got all the info we need so far. Don't you worry, we always get our man, or dame in this case."

"You were right the first time, Boss-Man", I thought to myself, "two men."

As me-n-Mike left, he doffed his hat, such as he always does when taking off. I didn't, though, I just kept lookin' at them. We stepped outside the shop.

"Well, Eddie, looks like we got a real mystery here - a jewel thief who probably uses disguises. This might take a little bit."

"I think I got it wrapped up already, Boss-Man."

"Yeah? How d'ya figure?"

"No video cameras - no mirrors - especially in a jewelry shop. No fingerprints..."

"She might've worn gloves."

"Pretty hard to close up a necklace with gloves on - too cumbersome. Anyway, I think these guys were in on it - maybe staging this whole thing to claim insurance."

"Why would they call us in?"

"As a ruse. I really got a bad feeling about this - I say we go right back in there and nail 'em!"

"Not so fast, Kiddo, but ya got a good idea - we oughta check with insurance companies that cover jewels, just to see if any thefts were reported."

"Holy Lloyds of London - let's go."

Per my suspicions, we checked with several insurance companies, dealing with jewelry, and we found the one dealing with the shop in question. A robbery WAS reported. I asked to see the theft report. The insurance agent, one Mrs. Babcock, was reluctant, but I was insistent. Mike just grinned through the whole thing. He loves it when I take charge.

"I'm just not aware of what relevance that would have in this case."

"It's our suspicion that it was a false claim. Allowing us to access the report would clarify everything. It could even save you a few thousand bucks."

"Oh...well, uh...by all means - mi informacion, su informaction - heh heh..."

"Holy dollar signs", I thought to myself. Sure enough, it was somewhat different from what we were told. The woman did come in and steal the necklace, but she was armed with a knife. The two jewelers sustained cuts on their hands while trying to fight back, but were jabbed anyway. None of this was true, of course, we saw nary a scratch on their hands - not even a bandage. I loved this - we exchanged stories with the insurance company.

MIKE - As Eddie set about his business, I looked around the office and noticed a flyer with a very strange looking woman on it. "Funny", I thought, "this broad looks like the one these hosebags made up at the jewel shop. Maybe they saw this and remembered the image, or, maybe..."

I brought the flyer to Eddie's attention. "Sorry to interrupt, but..Eddie, take a look at this."

"Holy red herring!"

Just then, an office assistant walks in. "Excuse me, Mrs. Babcock, but....WHOA!"

"Whoa, Joseph?"

"My God, you're the Dashing Duo, aren't you?"

Another fan.

"The Dashing Duo?"

"Yeah, Mike Batz and Eddie Robinson - they're in the papers, like, every other day - they're in the crime section of the newspaper - heck, sometimes they ARE the crime section."

"Oh, I do apologize, Detectives, you see, I don't really read the crime section - much too depressing and horrifying - I much prefer the advice and society columns myself."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"But it's important to read the crime section so innocent citizens such as yourself know what's out there and how to protect yourself against becoming a victim."

"Wow, this is too much - I read about you guys all the time - Chuck Grant's column - I'm buddies with his shutterbug."

This just gave me a great idea - but I had to get Eddie alone to work out the details and pull this off.

Meanwhile, back at the "ranch", me-n-Eddie were pacing back and forth, my arms folded, his fist clutched, trying to sort out what was going on.

"The woman on the flyer perfectly fit the victims' description", I said.

"ALLEGED victims", countered Eddie, "the report they gave us differed greatly from that which they submitted to the insurance company".

"Indeed - hence the mystery in which we find ourselves enshrouded, but I got a plan. That kid back at the office mentioned Chuck Grant's articles about us. What say we give him a jingle and ask him to do some undercover reporting for us."

"Sure! Only..."

"...Only what?"

"Only if he just happens to bear an incredible resemblance to you."

"Eddie - you're suggesting I impersonate a newspaper reporter to gather information on our suspect under false pretenses?" [I chuckle at the thought] "I like it."

"Oui oui monsieur, with me shutterbuggin' away as Ricky Holstein. While you interview her, I'll be snappin' at any jewelry I find laying around, then e-mail it to the local jewelers. If they can identify any of these baubles, we got her for Grand Larceny."

"All right! Let's do it!"

And do it we did - before we took off for the carnival site, we obtained the e-mail addresses of any and all local jewelers around town, and told them of our plan. There had been quite a few thefts lately, and rewards out for any info. They extended them to us, too, but we declined, because restoring order and bringing scofflaws to justice is reward enough for us.

EDDIE - We hit the carnival site and looked around as we saw the fat lady, the strong man, the bearded lady, the sword swallower - you know, the usual suspects - not suspects in our way, but, you take my meanin'. The interview was fun - ya shoulda seen us - Mike was so convincing as Chuck Grant, tape recorder at the ready - and my Ricky Holstein was pretty easy to pull off - just look all wide-eyed and innocent while shutterbuggin' away.

"So, you are the Amazing Pearl, eh? I'm Grant from the Times - I think you'd make a pretty darn interesting story."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Not only are you breezin' through town, but you're a celebrity to boot."

EDDIE - Pretending to admire the numerous jewels on her person, I gushed, "gosh, those are sure pretty".

"Oh, thank you - I'm glad you enjoy them. The are pieces I've recently purloined, uh, obtained - they were quite a steal all of them."

"Yeah, I'll bet".

"Would you like to photograph my collection?"

"With bells on."

I couldn't believe she was goin' right for our ruse. She opened up a display case and I snapped away, saying stuff like, "boy the readers are sure gonna love this."

MIKE - After a few minutes, the interview was over. Me-n-Eddie bid the
nice lady" goodbye, thanked her for her time, and went on with this case.

PEARL MAKES A PHONE CALL - SHE HAD A CALL TO RETURN AS THE PHONE RANG DURING THE INTERVIEW.

"Hello? Hi, Strong Man. How would you like to come over and work out on me - I'll make it worth your while. Would you believe it? My show's going to make the local newspaper, isn't that dreamy? Those two men? Reporters, of course - well, one was a reporter, the other one was his photograher. What do you mean no? The Dashing Duo? Who are they? Oh - - oh my God, well then they must be stopped at once. If my jewelry ring is exposed that'll be the end of me - I'll reach the peak of my beauty in prison! Seize them instantly!"

EDDIE - As we make our way outta this joint, we're approached by a couple of guys what look like gym nuts. They were meaty, beefy, big and bouncy, all right, wearing nothing by trunks and boots. They looked like superheroes, they stood with spread legs, crossed arms and clutching fists, but...holy antonyms...they were super - but far from heroes. Me-n-Mike were menaced in a malicious manner.

"Man, what gym were YOU guys born in?", said Mike.

"Never mind that - what were you two dicks doin' with the Amazing Pearl?"

Not knowing they discovered our true identities, we kept up the disguise, which they saw right through. We threw a few punches which nearly broke our hands, and that's when the wrestling match started. Me-n-Mike thought we were gonna win this one, it looked good for a while, but then somehow we were grabbed from behind. I stomped on one of the strong men's feet and turned around, trying to toss out another right hook, but it was all in vain. Pearl was summoned and she appeared momentarily.

"You two imbeciles. What made you think you could fool the Amazing Pearl? You're no reporters, you're the Dashing Duo and you're going to pay for being the Dahing Duo. I would never have known had it not been for my avaricious allies."

"And you call us imbeciles."

I suddenly get hit in the face with an aerosol blast.

"OW! I'm blinded - holy retinopathy - my eyes are burning."

MIKE - I got just what Eddie got. Me-n-Eddie fall to the ground, writhing, moaning, can't catch our breath.

"How long are we gonna BE like this?"

"Until right before you die, of course. This is a rather powerful jolt of Mace, known to bring men to their knees, as you have so graciously demonstrated for us."

"So that's it, done in by the wanton wiles of women's weaponry", I said, right before we passed out.

Next thing we knew, we found ourselves tied to a pillar of sorts. We regained our sight, but it was so dark in our makeshift prison, we may as well have still been blinded. A voice came over some loudspaker. It was Pearl.

"Have you woken yet, gentlemen? I would assume you have by now, since I measured out the dosage and am quite knowledgeable of its capability. You and your young friend are tied inside a shooting gallery - ducks - you know the game."

"Where pellets knock the ducks down and you win a prize."

"Originally, yes, and there are still pellets - for the most part. There are four 6-shooter air rifles - two of which are loaded with one actual bullet. Your chests have been aligned with the duckie's heads. As the conveyor goes round and round, your chances of survival are going down and down."

"Holy russian roulette!"

"Not Russian, Boy Breathtaker - not around here - I'm from Poland. I would make a wager, saying that if you do survive this trap I would surrender and accept deportation, but since you two will most definitely be dead sitting ducks, I see no point in carrying on this charade."

"The only charade is that you're going to get away with this!", I say.

"You are in no position to jump to conclusions, Defective Batty - oh, forgive me - Detective Batz - my English is a little off."

We hear her co-horts' voices in the back - "want me to pull the switch and get these guys goin'?"

"I thought you'd never ask", the heinous harlot hissed.

And we were off.

WHAT IS THIS? A GAME OF FAT CHANCE? A GAME OF SKILL, MINUS THE "S"?

HOLY RUSSIAN ROULETTE INDEED! HOLY SITTING DUCKS! DUCK, IN THIS CASE IS NOT A VERB THAT WILL SERVE THEM WELL - THEY'RE TIED SO TIGHT THEY CAN'T MOVE A MUSCLE!

READ ABOUT THE CONCLUSION IN THE NEXT CHAPTER - IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD TO DUCK OUT!

CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE - Holy Conundrums, Boss-Man!

MIKE - One of the wheels of the cab I was driving to rescue the hostages had flown off and sent me spinning out of control. I stayed calm for the most part, except from shouting, "aw holy crap!" as it first happened. I regained my composure, and used the radio to call Eddie for help - I knew he had a tough choice to make - watching over the prisoners and Tim until the right guys came for them, or speeding off to help me. I was hoping he'd stay with them - as much as I needed him at this moment, he had to do his job. I aimed the cab at a tree - this had to end sometime and I didn't want anyone else gettin' hurt.

EDDIE - Mike put out an SOS on the cab radio. I was really stuck - with me gone out to help Mike, the prisoners could break loose, possibly kill Tim, I didn't want that on my head and I didn't want Mike's tragic fate on my head either. Holy conundrum!


"Mike - where are you - are you all right?"

"I'm going into a tree, kiddo - I'm about a block away from Corcoran."

I then heard a scream and a horrible crash, then an explosion. Just then, Tim ran up, "gimme your keys - I'm gonna find him!"

"But you're shot - you need medical attention."

"I'll get it later - see you back here in a bit!"

A few minutes later, the cops came by and nabbed the bad guys, the EMT's came, too, and I told them what was up - my partner's life was in danger, the shooting victim was running out there to see about him.

"I heard the car explode over the radio - the kid going out to get him - he's been shot in the arm, he's losing a lot of blood - they're really gonna need you guys."

The ride in the ambulance seemed to take forever - yet the site of the crash was only a couple of miles away. I braced myself for how I was gonna find Mike...and Tim...what could I do for him in return, ignoring his injury just to see about Mike so I could get turn the bad guys over to the cops. This was above and beyond the call of duty for this kid. Play through the pain.

IT'S TIM TO THE RESCUE - HE SPOTS THE DEMOLISHED, FLAMING CAB AND SHOUTS MIKE'S NAME - TRYING TO GET A RESPONSE - HE RUNS UP AND SEES MIKE TRAPPED INSIDE

MIKE - I couldn't get out - damn seat belt was stuck - I couldn't move, the car was on fire, but not on the inside...yet. Suddenly, I just see this pair of arms reach in and rip up the seat belt, dragging me out through the driver's door window - thank God it was a nice day and I had the window down. As he got me out and we started to run from the vehicle, it blew up to smithereens, sending us flying a little. We both landed with a thud on the ground, the kid was rolling over a few feet - he must've been really tossed. I lay on the ground lookin' right up and then this guy came up - his head blocking out the sun that was burnin' in my eyes. In my delirium, I smiled, and purred, "oh, Eddie", then reached up and kissed him. But it wasn't him - it was Tim.

He pulls away, "my God, Detective"

Realizing what I did, I snapped to attention and tried to talk to him, "my God, I'm sorry - I thought you were Eddie! I didn't mean to creep ya out, kid, ya gotta believe that."

Tim catches his breath and says to me, "I wasn't creeped out, Detective, I - - I enjoyed it."

"Eddie doesn't need to know about this."

"Neither do the guys at the cab company."

I put my hand out, "Deal"

Tim puts his hand out - we shake on it.

"I'm glad I got to you in time - you were gonna get the rest of those hostages out of that garage."

"I sure was."

"You still are - let's do it - we're pretty close."

Me-n-Tim jumped in the car and sped off to the rescue.

"Why'd ya come out here? Eddie called the docs to come get you."

"He was in a tough spot. I knew he had to watch the guys back there and I heard your accident on the radio, so I jumped in. Eddie didn't want to let me come out here at first, but it's just a shoulder wound, that's all. You guys play through the pain, don't ya?"

I chuckle at the thought, the kid was right. We arrive at the garage a couple of minutes later. We were sitting right out in front. Tim was ready to jump right out and get into it, but I took his arm and held him back, for his own good. We had to be careful. I didn't want his shoulders to be a matched set of lead.

"Aw, come on - ya gotta let me go in with ya. Some of my buddies are in there."

"Oh, absolutely, but we just gotta go about it carefully. I have a funny feeling about this."

"Oh, yeah? What's up?"

"I don't know yet, but there could be something's up. My gut tells me this might not be a simple operation. I got it outta your boss about the hostages, but it might be a trap."

"So, what do we do?"

"If we get shot at, we got bulletproof shields in the back. It might be a good idea to keep them with us. Some of your boss's goons might still be inside with them. The goal is for all of us to make it out alive. Ya with me?"

"Sure as shootin', Detective."

"Call me Mike. Come on...out through my door."

We step out of the car, slowly, cautiously, reaching for the shields. We crouch down behind them and approach the building cautiously - my breath held for the first shot - the first of many, I feared. Nothing happened. Then we reach a door, which of course was locked. Tim gave me his right arm and said, "here, take hold of this", and he kicks it in.

"Steel-toe boots."

"Ah"

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE CAB COMPANY:

EDDIE - The cops came and took the bad guys off to jail- the kingpin, led away with his hands cuffed behind him, turned around and snarled at me - as if that'd every bothered me before. When you know in your heart you're right, it doesn't matter worth a darn who says what about you.

"It should've been you three being dragged outta here - on stretchers. I had the whole thing figured out."

"But we had good on our side, so, of course, we won."

"Yeah, well, we'll see who really won when your new boyfriend, Timmy, sees what happened to his little playmates."

"You callous, cold-hearted creep. Officers, take him away while I can still contain myself."

The EMT's ask about Tim. I tell them he took off with Mike to see about the other hostages at the 5th and Corcoran garage.

"He may have lost a lot of blood, I'm not sure, and the hostages may have been harmed, too. Officers, can ya send some back-up over to the garage? From what this wanton waste of life tells me, Mike and Tim might be in grave danger."

"One can only hope."

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE GARAGE:

MIKE - Me-n-Tim make our way in and we hear some screaming.

"Good grief, Mike! It's coming from down the hall."

We proceed and Tim kicks in yet another locked door. Tim's eyes and mouth open wide in horror at the sight of his cab-company-comrades riddled with machine-gun fire. The sound of us breaking down the door drew their focus and their weapons on us.

"DOWN!", I shouted as we crouched behind our bullet-proof shields. As I returned fire, I could see Tim straining to support his shield as the ammunition was getting heavier and heavier.

"Don't lose your grip, boy! HANG ON!"

I got in a few lucky shots, zapping one guy in the heart, another one right in the head, wiping them both out instantly, and I managed to knock the weapon right out of the other guy's hands, then I shouted to Tim, "let's get 'im!" and we clobber 'im. Tim runs right over to his buddies to assess the damage. It wasn't a pretty sight. The three hostages were moaning, writhing, screaming, one of them was pounding the floor with his crumpled fists, his face beet red with agony. I called Eddie and shouted to him, "Kiddo, where are you?"

"Right behind ya, Boss-Man"

Eddie stood proud with some EMT's at the ready to tend to the newly-administered wounds of the victims. After their examination of the three, the prognosis looked favorable.

"Yeah, they look pretty serious, but we can help 'em - they're gonna be all right."

Tim wept, "Oh, thank God."

The cops came in next, two of the venomous vermin were instantly killed while the other one didn't look so good after we got through with him. One of the officers assessed their damage, and I said to them, "we busted right in and caught these guys right in the act of shooting these kids". One of the officers nodded to me, "You did what ya had to do, Detective - they were clean shots. I'd say these killings were justified."

I nodded my head and said, "thank you."

The technicians treated Tim, too. All were taken to the ambulances waiting outside. As Tim was on the way out, he looked back at me with tear-stained eyes, and a quivering lip. It was the saddest I had ever seen anyone look in my entire life. A young boy like him suffering so much tragedy and shock and horror all within a couple of days - there was no reason, no rhyme, no right. I'd run the gamut of emotions in the few seconds spent considering Tim's saddened face. I was angry, sorrowful, mournful, grievous...but proud, too. Looking on him, I felt a smile come across my lips, showing everything I'd started feeling then - it was a smile of assurance, of comfort, of pride, of admiration of his courage - it was also a smile of hope that he'd remain the sweet innocent boy I met at the cab company, taking a bullet for protecting his job's interests, ignoring the physical pain while he helped us in avenging these crimes. I'd hoped he wouldn't lose that.

EPILOGUE:

A month or so goes by - me-n-Eddie made love the minute we woke up. He started it, licking my nipples and gently growling just like a little teddy bear. Okay, I'm only gonna say this once, and please don't puke when you read this - a little Eddie-bear.

OKAY - it's outta my system. Anyway, his growling and licking aroused me from a sound sleep. I tease him, "what do you think you're doin'?"

"I don't think I'm doing anything - I know I'm doin' something. Got a problem with that, Mister Man?"

I shook my head, "nope - I'm good - just wanted to know, is all."

Then Eddie took custody of my cock, rubbing it up and down, licking here and there, and was coming in for a landing. I grab the bars on the headboard of the bed and hang on for one heck of a ride. Aw, this was good stuff - real good stuff. I let out a moan and as Eddie came up for air, I shot a wad like a geyser.

"Holy old faithful."

"That's right, kiddo. You can set your cock to me. Oh, Eddie, what a good-morning-gift - what can I give you in return?"

"Keep your hands where I can feel 'em - turn and face the ground."

"Oh, yes, officer, anything to cooperate in the name of the law."

"You be a good guy about this, do what I tell ya, and I'll see to it that you get off."

I can't tell you enough how much I love this boy - how this boy makes me feel so loved. All the troubles in the world disappear when this boy's inside me, his hands on my butt, his lips and his tongue on my body, making me feel warm, embraced, comforted. Nothing beats all like a man's real love. I felt Eddie's warm cum sprinkle my back, like a cool mist of rain to soothe the heat of a hot summer's day. Nothing like it, folks...nothing.

We had the whole day in front of us. I turn back and lay on my back and Eddie rested his head on my chest.

EDDIE - I put my head on Mike's chest, one arm around him and the other across his chest, his warm, soothing, hairy chest - fingering and gently kissing his nipples as we lay together. Sometimes my arm would go to sleep with his body right on top of it, but I didn't care - it was all for a good cause.

"Whaddya wanna do today, Boss-Man?"

"I think we already did it, Kiddo."

"How about we just spend the whole day like this, cocooned from the rest of the world. They're pretty safe out there. We did a pretty good job seein' to that."

"Pretty good? We're the Dashing Duo - the best", I say as I kiss the top of his head.

The doorbell rings

"AW, crap!"

"Now, now, somebody needs us, Boss-Man - that's what we were put here for."

We got dressed and answered the door. Me-n-Eddie were a little taken aback by what we saw. We exchanged glances. This man was very solidly built, wore a black baseball cap with the curved beak shielding his eyes, already covered with black wraparound shades. Black leather jacket, opened, revealing a black tee-shirt, tight coal-black jeans and black leather bike-cop boots, gloves. A clean-shaven square jaw was the only hint of flesh betrayed on this man. Was he a hit-man, a guy hidden in the witness protection program? What was this? Me-n-Eddie thought he was hot, don't get us wrong, but we didn't know who this guy was, or what he wanted.

"So, how can we help you?"

"It's what I can do for you, Dashing Duo, if you'll let me in."

Cautiously, we let this guy inside, usherin' him into the parlor. Of course, we were always at the ready, always able to handle ourselves - it was, after all, two against one. As he reached inside his jacket, Eddie blurted, "watch out, Boss-Man!" "I got it, Kid!" All he did was produce a business card. It said, "Ace Justice - NightCabbie".

"Night Cabbie?", I said, "what's this all about?"

"I hear you guys were having trouble with a corrupt cab company recently."

"Oh, yeah, some guy out for vengeance 'cuz he says one of their drivers ran over his son. They tossed him in the clink for life, I'd say."

"It's not the only company in town, you know - there could be stuff like this goin' on all over. Drivin' a hack is kinda like bein' a cop - you're vulnerable behind the wheel, at the mercy of whoever rides in back - they could stiff ya, they could kill ya. You could go home at the end of your shift, but maybe you won't. That's what I'm here to prevent."

Eddie asks, "so, you're a kinda vigilante?"

"You might say that - I must remain vague about any personal details in order to keep my secret identity just that - secret."

I was scratchin' my head tryin' to make sense of this, "uh, do I know you? Have we met before? I'm sorry to say I can't recall seeing anyone like you before."

"You're not supposed to. Yes, we've met. All I'll say is I feel undying gratitude and loyalty to you for what you did for me."

"Geez, lots of guys feel that way", I say with all crossed-fingered modesty, "or so, they say. Come on, guy, can't you tell me who you are?"

"I'm Ace Justice - that's who I am."

Eddie asks, "what did my boss do for you? What made you wanna...."

"You were there, too, Eddie. Revealing the genus of my guise would only hint at my identity."

Eddie clutched his fist and nodded in resignation, "he's right, Mike. We need to respect his right to shield his true identity."

Ace did break a grin, "I'm glad to see you haven't changed, Eddie. You've kept that Robin-esque streak I like so much."

Mike was non-plussed, "but...but WHO...."

"Never mind, Mike, it's okay. Whoever this guy is, he's one of the good ones."

"You betcha."

"Okay, so you came by to thank us for whatever it is we did for ya, and to say you're here to curb cab crimes and crookery. I gotta say, as much as me-n-Eddie love crimefighting, we really can't be everywhere at once, so we do appreciate any guy who wants to lend a hand, so...welcome aboard", I shrugged.

EDDIE - The doorbell rings again, this time I'd answer it as Mike and Ace Justice continued their conversation. I was real suprised when it turned out to be Tim on the other side.

"Tim, hey, what's up?" I said, greeting him with a handshake. "How's the shoulder healing?"

"Hey, Eddie - uh, it's good - hasn't given me any trouble or anything - if it did it would be the least of what's goin' on, though."

"Huh? I don't getcha. Ya wanna come in and sit down?"

"Sure, but just for a bit. See, I really came by to say good-bye. I'm leavin' town and goin' back to Iowa."

"Iowa?"

"Yeah, that's where I'm really from."

"Gosh, was it anything to do with all that went down with the cab company?"

"Sort of. I got fired."

"No way."

"Fraid so - oh, Eddie - it's really been a nightmare over there. I'd been there a couple of years, and I did the best job I could, but what I never told you was the owner of the company is a total jag---, I mean, a total jerk. He ran the place like an Enron, or something - not paying good, making the mechanics sweep the floor, clean the toilet, that kinda thing. It didn't matter if the cabs were working right, he wanted the freakin' toilets to shine, can ya beat that? See, I was always pretty timid around him, doin' everything he said, keepin' my mouth closed, my nose clean, my eyes and ears open, but when this whole kidnappin' thing went down, and I showed some real guts helpin' you guys with puttin' a stop to this, I got to thinkin' I wasn't the same guy, anymore. It made a man outta me, the bullets, the fights, seein' the bad guys go off to jail, and knowin' I helped out in it..."

"Yeah, you really chipped in - helped me out of a bind I was in when Mike had his accident, and you played through the pain - you did it all with a really sore shoulder..."

"Right - like you guys are always doin' - see, that's what gave me some real guts, I knew I couldn't just go back in and be the same as I was ten seconds before I was shot. It really changed me. Nothin' wrong with cleanin' up around the place, but I wanted to service the cabs first, that was more important, and I told this guy that, but he thought I was bein' insubordinate, and he fired me, sayin' he could always get another worthless grease monkey like me."

"But you're not any of those things - not just a grease monkey, and especially not worthless. So, ya get a job somewhere else around here, there's no need to leave town, ya know."

"Yes, there is - see, mechanics is all I really know, and in those kinda circles, a guy like me...it's hard..."

"Guy like you?"

Tim breathed a heavy sigh and exhaled, I can see this was hard for him, and I was too, kinda. Well, we were sittin' pretty close together, lookin' at each other, and all....

"Eddie - I'm gay, and I, uh, tried keepin' that to myself, especially around the types I was workin' with. We'd go out to bars, hang out, that kinda thing. I didn't wanna be anti-social or anything, so I'd....I heard a lot of 'fag jokes', and on and on, and gettin' fired showed me I can't go on like this. So, I decided I gotta get outta this town, and back home. Start a new life."

"Yeah, but...Iowa...isn't that kinda homophobic out there? Small town stuff, and everything..."

"Maybe I shouldn't do this kinda lifestyle. I mean, I do like men, there's no doubt, but if I just go back to where I grew up, maybe I could...."

"What - forget who you really are? Squish that? Ignore it? Tim, buddy, that doesn't just go away just 'cuz you're having a bad time with it - right now. You said yourself you're not the same since all this happened, how it gave you guts, and now you're telling me you're goin' back home to forget....Tim, you went through a transcendental experience - the man you are was strengthened ten-fold and brought out - it must be nourished to flourish. Look....", I put my hands on his arms and looked into his eyes.....

"...you kept yourself hidden, taking that crap, pretending you were just Good-Time Timmy who loved hanging out in garages, ignoring your true self just to keep that lousy job, but now's the time to live for yourself, do what you wanna do. You're a young kid, like me. I remember what you said when you pointed out that my boss was right here with me, when we were both drugged-darted and paralyzed. That's what helped me get through that. When we're trapped, shot, beaten, anything - you name it, we always survive because the other guys is there, too. Maybe you need a guy like I got, a real mentor who sees what's in you and helps bring that out in you. And maybe..."

I hug him, rubbing the back of his head with one hand, holding him with the other....

"...maybe - this is what you need, too. The feel of a man's flesh gently and lovingly touching you. You're a beautiful boy, Tim"

I could hear him sniffling as I tell him this. He said I was, too.

"That's 'cuz of Mike."

"yeah, he's a great cop"

"Not only that - if we were two garbage collectors, or janitors, it'd be the same thing, 'cuz he's who he is, and I'm who I am. It's his love that makes me who I am."

MIKE - He doesn't know this, but me-n-Ace are there the whole time, listening in. I'm very touched and moved by what Eddie's saying. Ace sees this, too, and puts his arm around me. I whip out a hanky and dab my eyes.

Tim says, "you ever tell him that?"

...and then I hear Mike saying, "he just did". Tim and I break our embrace, he wipes his eyes. Mike stands proud, a stoic grin across his face, but a trace of redness around his pupils, and a bit of moisture on his lower eyelid betray his emotion, but I don't let on.

Mike extends his hand to Tim, "hi, ya, fella - good to see you again."

Ace stares at Tim - not that we can see his eyes, but his face is aimed right at his, so I'd guess he was looking right at him.

"So, you're Tim. Batz has just been tellin' me about you. So, what's shakin'?"

"Oh, uh, Tim, this is Ace Justice - he's sort of a.."

"vigilante, mercenary, whatever... I'm a crimefighter. Your look fits the description - your bravery, modesty, and all. So, anyways, like I asked, what's shakin' with ya?"

"Well, to be honest, I came over here to say good-bye, but me-n-Eddie were talkin', and, uh, I think I'm gonna stick around here. I got fired from the cab company, so I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, but..."

"I do", says Ace.

MIKE - Hoo-boy, I think I know where this is goin'.

"You're workin' with me. A boy with your heart and muscle belongs in crimefighting, not fixing cars, although I could use your expertise in case we get a flat somewhere along the way. I've been doin' this alone for a while now, but after I read about you, I got to thinkin' it wouldn't be bad to have someone like you by my side, sharing in the victories and defeats. You got a taste of crimefighting with these guys, and you did good. Now, you're gonna get a real feast."

"He's right, ya know", says Mike, "the life of a crimefighter is the most rewarding one, ever."

"It sure is", I say.

"One thing, though, I operate incognito - neither of these fine gentlemen has any idea of my secret identity. Workin' with me, you'd need to do the same. A disguise. You'd still be Tim Blake when we're not on the streets, but out there, you'd need a crimefighting handle. Now, in order for you to come into the fold, I need to reveal my identity to you, because you'd be living with me, but you'd need to take a solemn oath that you'd never betray me to anyone - not even to Mike and Eddie."

He took out something that looks like chap-stick, or something like that, and he smears this on his lips. I look at Mike to say, 'what's all this?', and he just shrugs.

"Come here, Tim", and he kisses him. Tim's a little timid about this, as anyone would be when a masked stranger suddenly comes up to you and kisses you, but a lot of guys fantasize about that sort of thing. Anyways...

"I do like you and I think you're hot, and in time you'll come to feel the same toward me. I'd be good for you - not like that imbecile you worked for at the cab company. Now, that's not the only reason I kissed you. What I had on my lips and what I transmitted to you was a mild hypnotic drug that curbs your temptation to reveal secrets that shouldn't be..."

"You drugged me to keep your identity a secret? You couldn't just trust me? Don't you think I'd be virtuous enough to respect your wishes without drugging me? My gosh, you think I'm good enough to battle the bad guys by your side, and I'm honored by that, but I wouldn't ever think of goin' behind your back. You wanna be my new boss, and you told me to not do something, so of course, I'm gonna obey you. That's what guys like me do. You needed to drug me for that? I'm sorry Mr. Justice, or whoever you are, but I just can't be a part of that, I'll find something to do out there..."

"Tim, I was testing you."

"Huh?"

"I wanted to see what you were made of, in terms of loyalty. This is not a drug. It's ordinary lip balm. What you just said spoke volumes. You're so guileless and virtuous you couldn't even stand the thought of workin' with somebody who'd pull a dirty trick like that. That's the kind I need with me. Please don't walk out on me, Tim. I never would really force anyone to fall in love with me, all that was just to see how you'd react, what sort of boy you are. You don't have to love me, Tim, but please be my sidekick, my comrade, my friend."

Well, wouldn't ya know it - Tim thought about it for a second, me-n-Eddie looking at him, nodding at him "do it".

He agreed, and went up to him and kissed him, on his own volition. Me-n-Eddie just looked on proudly. We were witnessing the birth of another crimefighting team. I could only hope they'd enjoy their partnership the same way me-n-Eddie have, and are, and always will.

I discovered Ace's true identity when we spoke privately. I was sworn to secrecy - I'm not even allowed to tell Eddie. Tim, or should I say Rick, stops by and hangs out whenever he can, not going into details, but telling us how much he loves his new life, his new street handle as Rick Righteous, and how much he loves his new mentor, Ace Justice, NightCabbie.