CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - A House Is Not A Home

Eddie took it easy for a while, what with his foot and all that, and I took on this more or less a domestic thing, a dame wantin' to check up on her husband, maybe cheatin' on her or somethin'. Fairly routine stuff. She gave me a photo of him, gave me his car's license plate number, and on and on. Okay, shouldn't be a big thing. I followed him around town for a while, and sure as shootin' there he was wth his lady love. I was gonna just show them to her and all that, but I just thought it might be fun to go face to face with him, catch 'im in the act, if you will.

EDDIE - Man, what a bad time for me. My ankle's all messed up 'cuz of that stupid trap, and come to find out Mike's got a cheater to go after. I begged Mike to let me go on the case with him, I wanted to pound this guy. He asks why it's such a big deal for me and I tell him my dad cheated on my mom, if he remembers.

Yeah, he was pretty ripped up about the whole thing. He got all excited when I tell him I got a cheater to go after and he says, "aw, man, I gotta work this one with ya, I'll tear 'im apart myself when we get this guy." I put my hands up and said, "whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on there, boy, you're gettin' to into this." "Well, what's not to get into? My dad cheated on my mom, if ya remember, and I've never liked cheaters ever since. It's wrong and they gotta pay for that. My dad screwed around on my mom for years, then he takes off, then he goes nuts, comes back to snatch me up and......." Then he starts poundin' a wall, sayin' "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!"

I realize this kid's all broken up, he can only see his dad in everything. Can't blame him, though, 'cuz stuff like this leaves ya scarred and all. As he's facin' the wall, I put my hand on his shoulder, rubbin' it a little. Then I move my hand down to his arm, and put the other hand on his back, rubbin' that, too. When you love somebody as much as I do Eddie, ya hate to see them go through anything. Aside from touchin' him, I wanted to say somethin' along with that. "Yeah, but this guy's not your dad, I'm sure he's not up to all of them awful things your dad did. He's not gonna kill his kids or nothin'. He's just out gettin' himself some nookie and he shouldn't 'cuz he's got a ball and chain waitin' for 'im, and she's payin' me to expose him, that's all. This ain't like any of the others we been on. Just a little fun thing here. Besides, your foot's all messed up and what if there's gonna be some runnin'.........." And then the idea hits me, "Holy Red Foley I've got it!" Eddie said, "what? What's up?" I got a way to get this guy, get some photos, and all that, and you're gonna help me." Eddie brightened up, he just loves goin' on these things. He got all enthusiastic, "oh, yeah? What do I do?"

We camp out in front of this loser's house and watch 'im take off. He goes to the bank, and other places. kinda boring to mention, but he's just out runnin' errands, then he pulls up to this motel. "Hoo-boy, I think this is gonna be it. Ya ready?" "Yeah, boss-man, I sure am." I asn't sure he'd go for this idea I had, but he seems to be. I'll tell ya about it in a couple of paragraphs. Now, be patient.

Me and Eddie watch the guy go into the main office, followed by this dame who pulls up in a really smokin' VW Beetle, painted red, a real shiny red set of wheels. I thought, "Holy Joy, you can see yourself in it". Eddie bangs his fist into his hand and rubs it, anxiously, "Holy French Quarter. That car's a perfect color for her. The guy must be payin' her." "Now, now, that's not really our concern here, we just gotta get some snaps so his wife can shove it in his face later on. The girl's not our problem." We spot the two of them headin' up to a room, I whip out the bino's so I can see the number. It's a little blurry, but Eddie was watchin' too and saw them enter the 5th room away from the check-in office. I give 'em a few minutes and I sneak around to check the room number. Well, d-uh, it's room number 5. Well, I mean, ya gotta be sure about these things. I told Eddie about it and the two of us laugh. "Oh, ya got your crutch there?" "Yeah, it's in the back seat." "Well, partner, let's roll." We get to the office and I tell the clerk I gotta get to room 5. He tells me it's been booked already and I say, "yeah, no, shit", then whip out the old I.D. "This is why I gotta get into room 5. There's a lonely wife sittin' at home waitin' for this jerk." The clerk gives me a spare key which I don't really use because of this little sting I got goin'. It involves Eddie's crutch.

So we walk up and knock on the door, no one answers at first, then I call out, "uh, Mr. Smith" (I love it when they sign in like that) "It's Perkins from House Beautiful Magazine. I'm supposed to take photos of your spread." Smith comes to the door, "what's all this about a house beautiful? This isn't my house." Of course I play dumb, hopin' he is, too. "Oh well, this is the address I was given, 56 Buehrle St., apartment 5, right?" "I don't know who gave you this information, but this is a motel, I'm kinda here with someone, ya know?" Yeah, I knew, you ain't tellin' me nothin' I ain't heard before. "Well, anyway, I'm Perkins, and this is my photographer, Leigh." Eddie extends his free hand, "nice to meet you, sir, congratulations." "For what?" "Your house has been selected as the most beautiful on this street and you're gonna be put in a magazine." Eddie starts snappin' photos right away. "Hey, wait, what right do you have here, I'm gonna call the cops." Eddie speaks up, "I must tell you this is our constitutional right to feature a beautiful house in our magazine, I mean, I may be just a dumb shutterbug, but I know the business pretty good, now say cheese." I loved what the kid was doin', but I had to cover up. "Uh, ya gotta excuse this guy, see, he had a really bad car accident, really messin' up his head. He used to be a...a, uh, what do ya call that when someone's not movin' from the neck down?" "Quadraplegic" "Yeah, that's gotta be it, somethin' with a 4 in it, I remember. Ya can't move all 4's, get it?" Just then his lover comes out wearin' nothin' but a towel. This don't do nothin' for me, 'cuz it's the guy I want in a towel, more or less, but she starts askin' questions, and all that. Eddie snaps a few of her. I go on explainin', "yeah, well, ya see, he's tryin' to put his life back together, so I take him on a few cases." "A few cases?" Forgettin' myself, I suddenly remember, "these contest things, ya know, I call 'em cases, too many cop shows on t.v., I think." Girlfriend excuses herself to go get dressed, and me and Eddie explore the rest of the place, snappin' away. He remarks, "wow this sure is a small little place ya got here." "May I remind you this is a motel room, someone gave you the wrong information." Just then, his lady love appears, "no, honey, someone gave US the wrong information." We turn to her and see she's armed. Her lover introduces us, "this lady you see here before you is Officer Bridget Sedgwick and I think you're under arrest for home invasion." Eddie pipes in, "but you said this wasn't a home, it was a motel room." "Be quiet and keep still, I've got you covered with my tasers." "Go ahead, let 'em have it." "With pleasure" and we're hit with these needles loaded with electricity, and we go down. "These are probes loaded with 50,000 volts of electricity, that should keep you still for a few minutes. Come on, let's get the hell out of here." Then she makes off with our camera while we're shakin' on the floor. "I - I heard about these things, we should be all right in a minute. Too bad they got away with the film." "On top of this, she's a lady cop! A cop did this to us." After the shocks wear off, we sit up, pickin' the needles out of us. They didn't stick us too bad, just a little pinprick, but it was that juice that really got us. "Boy, they really got us, and the evidence" Eddie nods in agreement, and looks around the room for a second, then focuses on somethin' from the ceiling. "or DID they!" He nudges my rib to get my attention and points up. Big smiles came to our faces when we spotted a security camera in one of the corners. "Good work, kid", I say. "Hoo-boy, not only did we get this crumb with cheatin', but we got them for dartin' us." Eddie thinks a second and says, "uh, wait a second, now she was a lady cop and we did get in the room under false pretenses. They could nail us for breakin' and enterin'. " "My God, you're right. But when we explain what was goin' on, I think that should clear this up. She had to have been off-duty. We'll get the times of this and call the blue boys and see what her schedule was. If she's off duty, we could get her for abuse of power." "It's worth a shot, anyway, let's go. You feelin' okay?" "Yeah, it wore off, how 'bout you?" "Well the rest of me is all right, but that thing didn't do nothin' for my foot." "Well, you're no worse off than you was when ya came in here, that's the good thing."

The long and the short of it, we got the taped footage, found out this bird was off-duty and her little arrest didn't mean nothin' about us, and the stiff's poor wife saw everything. She was busted for assault with a deadly weapon off-duty and suspended pending her conviction, if there was one. All told, the most important thing was this gal had her proof and could really clean him out in divorce court, OR, take him back and make his life a living hell, whichever way ya wanna go.

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT - Darkest Before Dawn

As Eddie put his hand up to soothe and defend his face from being singed, he moaned a little bit, then.......

EDDIE - I was so worked up, I was scared, I was sore, I didn't want to go out like this, not at my age, not bein' burned to death. I was still yankin' at the tree branch I was cuffed to. I just kept pullin' and pullin'. I couldn't stand this anymore, so with my free hand, I made a fist and slammed this creep in the face and he fell over. At least I bought myself another minute or two, I knew he'd bounce back. His boss, on the other hand, looked back at him and asked what the hell was goin' on. That's when my Boss-Man had him.

Oh, I rushed him. I belted him, knocked him down to the ground, not givin' a damn about my shot hand, or even that I might take some more lead. What his henchman was doin' to Eddie was beyond pissin' me off - beyond inhuman, not so much destroyin' a beautiful face like his, but makin' this poor boy scream as loud as he did, as tearful as he was, as........sorry, I, uh, I can't go on like this. Thinkin' of how bad off he was...just too painful to describe. I was hurtin' as bad as he was in other senses. It was kinda like what I thought Jesus gettin' nailed to the cross was, you know.

Anyways, me and this wretched rogue were wrestlin' with the gun. I was worried it'd go off, so I dragged his hand to aim at the henchman, puttin' a couple in him as Eddie ducked outta the way. I then pistol whipped this mother until he was almost unconscious. I slapped a pair of cuffs on him with more pleasure than when me and Eddie get together, if ya take my meanin'. I took this cat's flamethrower and went up to Eddie, cautioning him to look the other way as I tried to melt this handcuff off the tree so he could get outta there. And, my God, wouldn't ya know. It was daybreak. We won.

EDDIE - Mike melted the steel which set me free. My arm was kinda sore from bein' stretched like it was. It was daybreak and I realized the two thugs had been subdued, meanin' we won. Game over. Mike had this huge, adorable smile on his face as he held me and kept sayin' "we won - it's a new day." We looked into each other's eyes and I was happy at first, then, I guess 'cuz I realized everything that happened, and how close I was to really gettin' it, it was too much. After bein' a crimefighter for a while and facin' all this stuff we dealt with, the brushes with death and all, some stuff still got to me. I mean, holy post-traumatic stress disorder. I wasn't smilin' any more, and just stared at Mike.

The kid looked pretty upset and I ask, "what? What's wrong, we got outta this, didn't we?" His lips shook, his eyes were turnin' red and he mutters, "I coulda been burned alive." "well, yeah, that's right, ya coulda been, but it didn't happen, right?" Then he grabs me, bear0hugs me, buries his head in my chest and starts bawlin'. I understood. He needed me to comfort him. Everybody does. Just because we all live right, don't guarantee it's gonna turn out okay all the time. Ya just gotta stick in there and hang with it. His arms around my neck, brushin' against my face a little, it felt real nice, it smelled real nice, my Eddie was back where he belongs, me holdin' him. I held him with one arm, then with the other, I stroked the back of his head, kinda like back at the flophouse he was livin' at. Now as then, his hair was so soft and smelled really nice. But I had other things goin' right now, he didn't need a roll in the hay, he needed me to hang onto. I never heard him cry like this before. It musta really got to him. I kissed his head as I stroked it. I whispered stuff to him like, "it's all right, the man who loves you is here. Your Boss-Man is here with ya, sweetheart."

EDDIE - That was a really nice thing between me and him, ya know? I was in orbit and Mike brought me back down to earth. We took care of these thugs with the one-two punch like we do. People are always tryin' to get between us, turn me against him, but it ain't gonna happen. It almost did, when I was tortured with darts, and to this day I don't wanna think about it, talk about it...nothin'. Mike really made me feel good, realy made me feel special.

I noticed Eddie was really feelin' it this time, I wondered what was gettin' him so bad. "What's really wrong, kid? Huh? Come on, tell me, you can tell me anything, ya know that." "They almost split us up." "How do ya mean?" "It's true, when I was chained up and I saw ya get shot in the hand, I was all chained up, I couldn't do nothin' for ya. What if he emptied that gun into ya, me not there to take some of that 'cuz I had some nut-job walkin' up to me with a flamethrower. What if they killed ya first....." He started bawlin' again. Yeah, he was right, this is the closest call we've ever had.

Ya know, as much as I was feelin' it bad for the kid, these guys had to be taken in, the cops had to be called, and we had to go to the ol' repair shop for our wounds. We had to get outta that place, so I said to Eddie, "ya wanna sit down someplace while we're waitin' for the cops?" "Yeah, sure, it'd be good to take a load off." Eddie hopped over to the tree he was hangin' from, "no, not there, not..." "Why not? The tree didn't do anything to me. It was innocent." So he, with his busted ankle, me with my shot hand, took a load off at the scene of the crime.

EDDIE - I just thought it might be good to sort of take the stink of a murder attempt off an innocent tree. I bet a lot of kids climbed this, a lot of sweethearts had picnics here, and all, I wasn't gonna let no thugs take that away. Mike said I was a sweet kid. That was nice of him. It would've been good to hold each other, and all, but Mike's hand was bleedin' and it hurt a lot. My ankle was also messed up. We'd have time to sort of "get together" after we were taken care of, but right now, it seemed a good idea to talk.

Me and Eddie was relaxin' at the tree and he stopped cryin'. He knew he was safe now and everything was gonna be okay. He sat rubbin' his ankle, I sat holdin' my wounded hand. "Man, this thing is killin' me", I says as I nursed it. Eddie grinned, "well, it's a bullet, ain't it? That's what them things do." I turned to see that beautiful grin, I snickered, and grumbled, "yeah, ya son-of- a-bitch, ya. I'll remember that." He laughed and so did I. Then, he turns kinda serious, "Mike, was that guy your lover?" I grimaced, "naw, im-possible. The kid was impossible. He worked for me and was good and all that, but..." I chuckled a bit more, "Jesus Murphy he was a piece of work. Even now. I mean, he was darin' me to leave you behind like he says I did him. I thought he was right behind me, then I thought he didn't make it." I bristled at the memory of it, re-livin' it again. I start thinkin' I'm gonna bawl now. I put my hand up to my face and start shakin' my head, "aw, shit, shit, shit", and kept shakin' my head. My eyes were closed and I had my hand over my face, and felt Eddie's hand on my shoulder. "Aw, it's okay. It's all right." I looked at him and grinned, and put my hand on his, tappin' it a little, "thanks, kid." We looked at each other and leaned over to each other to steal a kiss. Our lips no sooner made contact then we heard the sirens. We laughed a bit over this, and thought, "ah, a little later, I think".

The cops came and scooped up the bad guys, then the paramedics came and scooped us up. They treated my hand, and bandaged it up for the time bein', then I stood up and walked to the ambulance. Eddie, on the other hand, hobbled up and the paramedic, after treatin' his wound, took his arm and started to put it on his shoulder for support, but Eddie insisted on hoppin' by himself. "Thanks, anyway, but I gotta show these guys I can bounce back from this", and hopped over to the ambulance.

As we rode over to the ol' repair shop, I got to thinkin' and I had to talk to Eddie about this. "Ya know somethin', kid? I think we need to lay low for a bit, not go on these wild things for a while. Too much has happened to us, I think we need a break." Eddie just said, "okay, so what's next?" "You gotta kick back, especially. You gotta go out and get your detectives' license and I gotta start takin' some light cases, like, oh, I don't know, somethin' that don't involve us bein' superheroes or nothin' like that." "Yeah, I hear ya, boss, I hear ya."

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - Face-Off

"Hello, Mike, you don't remember me, do you?" I had no idea who this was. I do meet a lot of people in my line of work. This guy's face was mostly covered up with a scarf or somethin'. "Nah, I can't say I do." "That's to be expected. You see, I was disfigured several years ago, burned to a crisp. You abandoned me." "Wait a minute, hold up", I says, "I don't leave nobody behind." "Well, then let me be the first. Do you recall a certain warehouse which was set on fire?" "Ah, come on, lots of warehouses burn up." "Yes, but by a serial arsonist you were hired to track down and capture?" "Serial arsonist?" "You had a little help then...Michael."
That kinda gave me pause. Something sounded familiar. "Michael? No one's called me that since.......Holy Great Mother of Shit!" I was totally shocked. "I had a kid workin' with me during the serial arsonist..." He cut me off with, "Oh, yes, he set a fire that trapped the both of us. You broke free and left me there to burn like a pile of leaves."

It was all comin' back to me. I remembered everything now. "If your memory is so great, you'll also recall I undid both our bonds and yelled let's go." I forgot myself and in the moment of anger, I pointed at him, "you were right behind me, what the hell happened?" He shot me in the hand I was pointin' at him with. "AH!" I screamed and grabbed my wounded hand. "It isn't polite to point, Michael." "In any case, you were right behind me. When I got outside, I looked for ya, but didn't see ya. I went back in and called out for you but I didn't hear nothin'. The smoke and flames were too damn thick. I couldn't get to ya if my friggin' life depended on it." "Well, it does now, doesn't it, Michael." "What the hell DID happen to ya, anyways? When ya didn't respond, I thought for sure you were dead." "I tripped, I landed with a thud, you should've heard that. I shouted out to you to help me." "Oh, yeah, like I was gonna hear that with all the noise goin' on. How'd ya end up gettin' outta there?" "Oh, let's just say I found a way. I was taken to a hospital, what you always called the, oh what was it, the old repair shop. Rather quaint. I was given several skin grafts, but they didn't come to much." He turns to Eddie and takes his scarf off his face, revealin' a pretty mean lookin' scar, some skin blotches and stitch marks. "You see what your mentor let me go through. I'm afraid you might suffer the same fate, maybe worse. You know, I did almost die in that fire."

"Maybe I'd have been better off if ya did cack it. You were never damn good to me anyway, too cocky, thinkin' ya was better than me. Ya always did like to show off. I shoulda dumped ya when I had the chance." He called out to his henchman, "take the kid and cuff him to the tree, please." The henchman did as he was told. Eddie was cuffed with one arm to a tree branch. He tried to fight back, but was overpowered with an upper cut to the face and a fallen tree branch to the chest. He was screamin' bloody murder and coughin'. "Oh, uh, bring out the flamethrower, would you?" Eddie's eyes widened in horror, as did mine. "What the hell do ya think you're doin'?", I snarled. "Edward, my boy, you're about to follow in the footsteps of all of Michael Batzinger's, uh, special friends, if you will." Eddie was defiant, "no way. There's NO way I'm gonna end up like you." "I beg to differ, young, Mr. Robinson." He looked him up and down. My God, he was cruisin' him. He gently stroked his face. "Mm, as soft as it looks. Too bad it's gonna be all burned up. Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted." He gives the gun to his henchman and orders it trained on me. With a bullet in my hand already, I didn't see the point. He then turns the flamethrower on and creeps slowly toward Eddie, wrestling with his bond, tryin' to break free. I was thinkin', "please God let him break that branch off". Eddie was furiously yankin' at the handcuff, grimacin'. My heart broke. I never seen anyone look so scared. He was screamin, "no" as this wretch came at him. He held the flamethrower up to Eddie's cheek, a flicker of a flame just barely touchin' it. Eddie screamed and grimaced some more, holdin' up his free arm to defend his face, and then..............

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX - Extra Innings

With no way to tell time, me and Eddie didn't know how much longer this game was gonna go on, but it seemed to get lighter outside. Maybe the crack of dawn will be here before we know it and we could get outta here as free men. We'd been sittin' at that spot for a while with nothin' happenin', but I was gettin' suspicious. "I'm a little worried here. Maybe we oughta move on, whaddya say?" Eddie agreed, "we kinda are out in the open, but I can see ya a bit better, so maybe it's almost daytime." We stood up and stretched, especially Eddie. God I love watching him stretch. He spreads his legs apart, stretches his arms as high as he can, his sleeves ridin' down so I can see little of his 'pit, then he swings both arms like he's throwin' a punch or somethin'. Boy, the things ya see when ya ain't got your camera. I have this secret thing about gettin' him to pose for me. But for now, a little ahead in this here game, we gotta keep up this winnin' streak, so we mosey on. Maybe we made a huge mistake, as you're not gonna believe what happens next.


Walkin' a few steps, we hear a couple of snaps, like we're crackin' tree branches or twigs or somethin'. THEN, another snap and Eddie screams and goes down. "Holy quicksand! I'm stuck! Somethin's got my foot!" I look down and notice Eddie's ankle is snagged by a bear trap. Then that god awful voice comes back, "you have 1 minute before the teeth appear." The voice was right, the trap was in two sections. First was the snag, then the steel part would come up and cut Eddie's foot off if I didn't act fast. I grabbed the trap, which was slowly closin' in and started to pull it apart, Eddie, too. We were both tryin' to yank this thing open so we could run off. Spatters of blood were runnin' on our hands, Eddie was screamin' louder, "my foot! my foot! HE'S CUTTIN' IT OFF!" "Not if I have anything to say about it", I said as we continued pryin' this thing loose. The snag had some sharp little bits inside and it was tearin' at the skin on our hands. Finally, with the two of us, teeth gritted, faces red, breath held, we managed to get a little slack on this thing, Eddie's foot started gettin' loose, "good boy", I said, "wiggle it loose, we'll be outta this in a minute", then POP, we broke it off. Eddie fell back and caught his breath, we was both a little winded, then I stood up, Eddie tried to, but when he put his foot on the ground, he let out this really loud scream. I grabbed him and yelled, "hang onto me, boy, we gotta get outta here. Ya gotta hop outta this, I'll hang onto ya!" I ran, he hopped, we didn't know where we were headed, we just had to get outta this part. A few yards later, we heard an explosion. "HOLY TNT! The trap was loaded with dynamite!" "So those were the teeth", I muttered. That horrible voice came back, "well, now, you saved his life, didn't you. You didn't let him get blown up. Quite noble on your part." I started gettin' really pissed, "you maniac, whoever you are! What's goin' on here? If you had any guts you'd say all this to my face!" "Well, if you turn around, you'll see I'm standing right here."

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE - Happy Hunting Ground

So, anyways, we're luggin' some stuff out onto Eddie's pick-up, founf we had room for a couple of other things, then, to tell ya the truth, it's kinda foggy. I mean, I felt someone was holdin' something on my face and I struggled to breathe and just fell asleep, but what I woke up to made me wish I didn't. It was that horrifyin'.

EDDIE - I felt it, too, the thing on my face, then - ZAP - nothin'. Turns out this one pullin' all them sick jokes on people was the one who zapped us out right by the pick-up. It must've been hours between the rag on the face and the time we woke up in some forest preserve or somethin'. On top of that, Mike and I were shackled to each other.

Yeah, that was one of the worst parts of that night. We both came to, got our bearings, wondered where we were, then tried to walk around, but nearly tripped on each other because we were chained at the ankles, my left and Eddie's right. Eddie freaked out when he saw the shackle and I got pretty bunched up, too. "What the hell? What's goin' on? Who's doin' this?" "I'll bet it's that Machine Gun Kelly guy back at the office!" Just then, a voice came outta nowheres. "Yes, gentlemen, that is correct". I furrowed my brow, I dunno, it usually made me think better, I guess. We looked around for speakers or somethin', who the hell was talkin' to us. "Oh, Dashing Detective, I'm running a little late for an appointment. Can you tell me what time you have?" This familiar-soundin' voice was really gettin' at me, and he wanted to know what time it was?!?

"Look at your watch, Detective. Lord knows what I'll do to you if you make me late." So, I look at my watch, but don't see it. What I see is this gizmo with a speaker on it. "What the hell did you do with my watch?" "Ah, I see you found my communication device. Pretty impressive, eh?" "Not in the least, you sick freak." Then a shot rang out! Me and Eddie duck, all shook up. "What the hell", we kept sayin' over and over, different variations, we was pretty shook up. The voice continued.

"You are both stranded in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. Quite romantic, is it not? And I wouldn't want to make any false moves, as you are both chained to each other at the ankle. Oh, yes, I gave you some slack in your bonds, just to make it interesting, but if I were you, I'd be careful when I run because you're going to be doing an awful lot of running this evening." "Running from what?" "This" Then an arrow comes from out of nowhere and slams into this tree we're standing in front of, just inches above Eddie's head. He's not sure he's hit, but ducks, grabs the top of his head and starts panicking. I check him out and assure him he's not been hit. A few bullets hit the bark of the tree just inches away from me, I can see woodchips flyin' off. Eddie and I huddle to duck the ammunition. "Now, see, that's how you play the game. You are my game. Tonight is open season on Dashing Detectives and Boy Fridays. If you manage to elude my arrows, my bullets, and everything else I throw in your direction, you go free and I surrender to you. If not, you surrender to me." Eddie slams his fist into his other hand and shudders, "Holy Dragnet! He's hunting us!" "That is correct."

I was gettin' really ticked off by this whole thing. "What the hell is this about? What are you....just who the hell are you, anyway?" "You'll find out at dawn, the point of surrender, whether it's yours or mine, all depends on you. I will give you a 5-minute head-start, then you're on your own."

The wrist radio I was wearin' went dead, then it was up to me and Eddie to find our way outta here in 5 minutes or else we'd be toast, or hung from the wall in this maniac's den, or somethin'. I grab Eddie by the arms and insist we gotta win this thing, our lives really depend on this. I had no idea what time it was, no idea when the crack of dawn was gonna come up. Lookin' at our shackles, I told him we gotta move in sync, so we don't trip over each other. So we were off.

EDDIE - Oh, man, this was the weirdest thing we ever got into. I was scared to death, but somehow knew we were gonna make it through this. The good guys always win everything and we were the good guys. I kept thinkin' this was just another sick prank. I sure wanted to know what was goin' on between Mike and this guy. I got it that somehow they knew each other. Maybe Mike pissed him off at one point. Maybe this guy was always a nemesis of his. It could be anything, but for now, we just had to think about stayin' alive all night.

We made everything we could outta that head-start, hearin' nothin'. It was nice and quiet. Under better circumstances, it would've been a nice place to go with Eddie. But that's not important right now. There was only one place I wanted to go with Eddie this minute - outta this place, with this freak, whoever he was, behind bars for the rest of his life.

Suddenly we hear this motor, look at each other, look around a bit, then Eddie sees something and points up. "Oh, it's just a plane." I look even harder at it. It seems to be comin' in our direction. It was a motorized model plane. With a doll pilot in it. One of them remote control jobs. It was flyin' around us like a bee or somethin', aimin' to sting somethin'. I see somethin' protrudin' from the nose. Then a light flashin' from it. My God, it was firin' at us. "Holy Red Baron, it's shootin' at us!", Eddie exclaims. We make a break for it. The 5 minutes was up, we were fair game. The problem was, we couldn't duck anywhere, this thing could follow us whereever we went. Then Eddie had a thought, "with a gun that little, how harmful could them bullets be if we got hit?" "If we got hit? Didn't you hear him? If one of us is hit, we give in to this maniac. I don't know about you, but I'm gettin' outta here scot free." "You're right, what was I thinkin'?" We ran a few feet, a rock was lyin' around nearby. I pick it up and fling it at the plane, and it crashed into it, smashin' that thing to smithereens. "Wow, nice aim, Boss-man." Game 1, hunter 0. We had the lead. Me and Eddie stood next to each other lookin' at the wreckage for a minute. I had one hand on his shoulder, the other one on his arm, slidin' my fingers up his tee-shirt sleeve and lightly glidin' over his bi-ceps. He reached over with his other arm and held the hand I had on his shoulder. We got by this time. We could do this thing. I knew we could. Our eyes met, we turn around to face each other, and got into some real holy liplock. Eddie reached down and pinched my nipples, I moaned and Eddie cracked that there was only one guy on this planet I was gonna surrender to, and it was him, which made me laugh. We needed this. We needed love and laughter right now. Who knew, maybe this would be the last night the both of us are in these bodies. If we died together, then we'd stay together in the next life, but there was only one problem with that. Eddie would lose this fantastic body. I'd love his heart, his soul, his mind, but I wouldn't be able to touch him. So I was enjoyin' this for now.

We lower ourselves onto the ground, bein' careful of the shackles and careful to not break our bond of holy liplock. Eddie's shorts hiked up again, I reached and grabbed his leg, runnin' my fingers up inside his pants. He did the same with me, pullin' down my zipper, caressin' my cock as I was his. Never knowin' what could happen next, we gave each other hand jobs

EDDIE - Ah, rubbin' his balls, goin' back and forth on his cock, him doin' that to me, too. "I love you, Mike, you're everything to me. You are the most exciting man I've ever known, the sexiest, the sweetest. I've gotta have you." "You got me Eddie. You'll always have me. You're the hottest guy I ever met, the most loyal, the most trustworthy, better than anyone I've known before...." and then he just breaks off. "What, did you cum already?" "No, but somethin' did. I think I know who this sicko is." He grabs and hugs me. "I didn't tell ya this before 'cuz I'm all about livin' for now, but I did have another boy friday at one point." "Oh, that's no big deal, you had to have a life before me, that's normal, I did, too, I mean, I settled on...." "That's what I did. I had this other guy before, but I had to get rid of 'im. He was always jumpin' the gun and all that. I couldn't keep up with 'im. He was a real wretched rogue, this one was. Always wantin' more." "Holy Darth Vader" "Yeah, somethin' like that. There's nothin' worse than a good boy gone bad." Then his face turned sad, he was lookin' back and forth at me, and I was lookin' at him all quizzical-like. "Eddie, I want you to tell me. How are ya?" "Huh?" "Are ya good with this? Am I doin' right by ya? I mean, look at ya. You're young, fun-lovin', beautiful...." He stiffened his face and bit his lip, but it was quiverin'. I kinda knew what was comin'. He started bawlin' and put his head down, I touched his face and brought it back up, "Mike, what's wrong? What's come over ya, huh, sweetie?" "Oh, Eddie, I love you, I don't know what I'd ever do without you. I need you. You saved my life when you came into it, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. You gave me my heart back, I didn't think I could love again until I saw your beautiful face." I wrapped my arms around him, movin' as close to him as I could be, lookin' him in the eye, "I'm the happiest I've ever been in my whole life. You've been my whole life. You're my hero and I'll never turn my back on you." That made him cry out loud and he grabs me, not just puttin' his hands on my body, but puttin' my body in his hands. He was kissin' the back of my neck, and sayin', "good boy....good boy....good boy". Bein' a detective myself, I had to find out what was goin' on, what's makin' Mike so vulnerable, so sad, so scared. Maybe it was somethin' really bad. He'll tell me when he's ready.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - Revenge of the Wretched Rogue

After leavin' the hospital, we head over to the office and start cleanin' stuff outta there, thinkin' it'd be a lot easier when my lease is up on the joint, so I can just book at the end, sayin', "nice doin' business with ya, pal, but I gotta mosey on out". Anyways, me and Eddie ain't even payin' attention to the door or nothin', cuz it's locked and all that, but somethin' crashes through the window and Eddie's standin' closest to it and just leaps forward like a stuntman. Then, I notice a figure whip out an AK-47 and start loadin' it. I scream at Eddie, "behind the desk, NOW!" The two of us duck and you talk about SHOTS FIRED. I had the desk bulletproofed so I knew we'd be okay - just got the shit scared out of us. The shooting stops and the figure goes away. Me and Eddie get back up and take in everything that just happened, "holy Battle of Normandy, what the heck was that?" "I wish I knew". I look around to see what kinda damage was done to the place and there was none. With all-a them bullets goin' everywhere, you'd think at least the window would be busted, the blinds torn up, but there was nothin'. Not even a mark on the bulletproof desk. Sure, the smell of gunpowder, but nothin' else. "Leapin' Lord almighty, this one was shootin' blanks." Eddie pounds his hand into his fist, "another sick prank, what's the pattern here?" Then he happens to see something lyin' on the floor. It was a rock with a note attached, the thing that went through the door. "Holy molotov cocktail", he mutters as he picks it up. He opens the note and its contents made his eyes open wide. "Watch out, Batz, it won't be blanks next time." That spooked me, whoever this was knows me, where I work, probably live. "Ya think it's the same one at the mailbox?" "I would hope so. I'd hate to think there was a copycat. That'd be two psychos we're up against. We gotta get handwritin' analyzed on this too." "Yeah, good thing you're closing up shop here. They won't be able to get ya here. We can get a good jump on them." "Hopefully, kid", I say as I put my arm around him, "hopefully".

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - New Terror on the Block

Middle of the morning, a typical day already underway. The streets are littered with commuters, shoppers, schoolchildren, and the United States Postal Service. One particular area resembles a small town, a bit of a cul-de-sac where all the neighbors know each other, waving as they see each other on their way to whatever lay ahead in the next 24 hours. The houses are all bungalow-style, some two-story, some one-story. Mailboxes are kept in front, at the start of the walk-up to these homes. A postal delivery truck pulls up, the mailman gathering his parcels to deliver. He gets about mid-way through this leg of his route, when he comes up to what looks like a typical mailbox, or IS IT!

The mailman opens the lever to this box and suddenly there are several banging noises ring out, the mailman clutches himself, screams and falls backward, nearly hitting his head on the curb. How could this be? A gun rigged to automatically shoot whoever opens the mailbox door? How sinister!



I'm reading about this in the paper over breakfast and I can't believe it. I tell Eddie about this. "Wow", he says, "I heard about bees nests and that kind of thing, but an automatic gun? How badly was he hurt?" "Uh, let's see here, he's in fair condition at the hospital, had surgery and all that." I continue scanning the article, " AH! Good. It gives his name. Scott Fahey, age 35. Holy Mother of Christ, he's just a young guy." Eddie ribs me with a sly grin, "really? He's about your age". One glare of mock indignation from me attempts to wipe that grin off his face, "exactly....a YOUNG guy". Eddie's grin opens up into an open-mouthed belly laugh. I grin as I tap him on the noggin with the newspaper, "no laughing with your mouth full." "Ya wanna go and see him?" "Love to - if the hospital lets us see him, that is." "I don't see why not. You're a Private Eye and all, it's worth checking out."

On the drive up to the hospital, I start to ponder somethin' I've been thinkin' of that's been on my mind for a while. My lease is comin' up on the office space. It seems like a kinda waste to go over there and come back home, it's too much like a real job. I put my hand on Eddie's leg and start strokin' it and say to him, "Hey, uh, what would you think if I gave up the office space?" "I dunno. Makes no difference to me? What's up?" "Well, I think we can operate the agency from our place, still use the phone line at the other space, and I don't have a huge lot of files, or nothin', so it's been on my mind for a while." Eddie puts his arm on top of mine and interlocks his fingers with mine, raisin' my hand and kissin' it, then puttin' it back on his leg. Oh, by the way, he's wearin' a pair of shorts (I love summertime) which kinda fall to just above his knee when he's out walkin', but when he's sittin' down, the pants ride up about an inch or two, showing off them lucious thighs. Oh, yeah, I sure do love puttin' my hand on that. You know how you see someone walkin' around with form-fitting shorts and the material creases back and forth around the crotch with every step you take? MM-mmm. They're beige, too, lookin' like butterscotch - my favorite flavor. He's got a baseball cap on him, too. A cloth one. I really love his hair, but he looks so adorable in that cloth hat which goes right around his head, with the slightly angled beak out in front, or whatever that thing is. He's so cute, I could eat him up, but that's for later on. Now, we gotta go see a man about a loaded mailbox.

We get to the hospital and I'm kinda pissed we gotta pay to park. "What the hell? What if we were patients and if we couldn't afford to park here, we gotta go home and die or somethin'? Holy Christ." Eddie laughs at that and I turn to him and start laughin', too. Oh, beautiful, for that boy's lovely, bright, effervescent smile which makes his eyes flash. I can still see them under that visor on his cap. I tap his left cheek, then keep my hand there. Eddie leans closer to me, as I do him and we kiss each other good mornin'. Yeah, we already did that at the house, but it's still mornin', we still wanna kiss, so.......

Goin' in the hospital, I inquire about Scott Fahey - or at least I'd like to at some point. The admissions clerk is really not about her job. She's overweight, black, her uniform is about ready to pop at some areas, she doesn't look at us, but she holds her finger up as if to say, "wait about a half-hour". She cackles loudly and is practically shouting and laughing. She's on the desk phone with her best girlfriend. You can tell by all the "girl, please" she keeps spewing forth. Eddie and I give each other quizzical looks. He takes action (that's my boy), leanin' forward and pressin' on the switch, cuttin' off her con-fab. Of course, she gets pissy, what useless bitch wouldn't when she's called on the carpet. "Hey I was talkin' to my girlfriend!" Eddie snarls, "yeah, that's right - you WAS! That's a pretty big chance you're takin' there. How do you know we're not connected with Administration in some way?" I interject, "or that we won't squawk to Administration?" I spot her name tag, "Tell them all that..." (how the hell do you say this?) "....Lake-Shi-A... blew us off when we needed somethin'!" "Tell them WHO?" "You know, ya got a pretty stupid name, there, did your parents really hate you or were they hopped up on shit when they had ya!" She grows indignant. In fact, any growth on her part is of no surprise. "It's pronounced La-Kee-Sha! Now what did you need, sir?" "I need to speak to another admissions clerk, one who doesn't quite have your busy social life with which to contend." "I'm the only one here on this shift. You're gonna need to talk to me." Eddie just can't resist this, "you promise not to call us girl?" "What is it?" "Okay, okay, we're wastin' time here. I'm comin' in here about this guy, the mailman who got shot. The paper says he's here." "Are you family or close friends?" "Naw." "Well, he's only allowed visits from his loved ones." Eddie pipes up, "how about Private Eyes?" I take my badge out, "name's Mike Batz, the kid's family wanted me to talk to him, check out what his story is." Lakeshia's face lit up like a Christmas tree, "oh my God, you're the Dashin' Detective? I didn't recognize you." She turns to Eddie and says, "then you've gotta be the Boy Friday." I chuckle, Eddie and I look at each other and turn back to grin at Lakeshia, "yeah, we sure get around, all right." Lakeshia gets excited, "my momma's got a crush on you two - I gotta call her and tell her..." I interject again (I'm kinda good at that), "uh..please, not until we leave. For our best interest and even our safety, we can't let civilians know where we are until afterward." "Sure, I understand. She won't believe me even if I did." Lookin' up the rolodex, she spots Fahey's room number, 227. Eddie and I are directed to the elevators and such and as we're walkin', Eddie giggles to himself, makin' me laugh, too, "oh, what are you goin' on about now?" Still giggling, "227, man, 227!"

Eddie and I make it up to Fahey's room. He's not doin' so bad for himself, I think. He's sittin' up readin' watchin' the tube. I flash my badge and introduce the two of us. He holds his hand out to shake ours, then me and Eddie sit down and try to get some info out of him. Poor kid, he can only tell us what he knows, hopefully quite a bit.

"Ya gettin' outta here pretty soon?", Eddie asks. "Yeah, couple to three days oughta do it", says Scott. "It hurt a lot and kinda still stings, but the wounds weren't all that serious, doctors tellin' me I got popped with BB's." "BB's?", I say. "yeah, they got in my skin and cut me up, and hurt like a mother, but they didn't do nothin' to my organs or nothin'" "You were very lucky out there", I say. "Can ya tell us anything you remember about it, I mean, somethin' the newspaper missed, maybe?", Eddie asked. "Well, I came up to this mailbox, opened the slot, and this gun pops out. The box is like up to near my chest, and the gun was pointed up a little, like it's expectin' someone my height. Who knows, maybe it was meant for me. Some customer gettin' really pissed, ya never know. So, I open the door, the gun comes out, and I look down the barrel, ya know, really scared, for what felt like 5 minutes, I thought I saw some kinda string around the trigger. Maybe it was a spider web, I ain't sure. Then I start to duck, I hear the bangin' and I'm hit right up here" (pointin' to his left pec), "I fall back in that direction, then another bang, I'm hit in the right arm, which I grab, then when I finally hit the ground, my legs go up and I'm hit in the shin. I'm lyin' there, screamin' help I got shot, someone calls the ambulance and they operate on me right away. That's when the doctor tells me it was BB's and I should be okay, nothin' more serious than havin' a rock thrown at me or somethin'." I say to Eddie, "yeah, I think it sounds like some kind of sick prank or somethin' ". "That ain't all that happened, though" "Oh, yeah? What else?" "When I was waitin' for help, I kinda crawled around, pickin' my stuff up 'cuz I dropped it, I didn't want no one else gettin' their hands on my stuff, so I see this note right near the box. I even got it with me." "Excellent!" says Eddie. "Yeah, we get a handwritin' sample, check this for prints and all, we should bust this one pretty soon. Where's the note now?" "It's in the top drawer with the rest of my effects". I look at it, then give it to Eddie, whose eyes kinda open up and he gives it back to me. "I'M BACK - DID YA MISS ME", it reads. "who do ya think it is, Mike?" "No idea, hence we gotta check this out and see whose DNA is all over this. Did you know anyone ya pissed off or anythin' - someone who knows what you do for a job?" "It's hard to say. I mean, I might get a raise and someone else doesn't or I go out with someone for a while and that ends, but I don't think there's anyone out there that hates me that much, or whatever." Eddie and I thank Scott for his time, shake his hand, I give 'im my card, and we're outta there.

"Who'd wanna take revenge on a mailman?", Eddie asked. "Hard to say. But I'm really gonna be blown away when we find out who. This sounds like it's really gonna be somethin'. I thought what we had on our hands was a new terror on the block, but some poor stiff out there is gonna get a blast from the past, lemme tell ya that."

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO - Rifts, Regrets and Reconciliation

Eddie didn't say anything as we drove back to our place, just kept holdin' his arm and starin' ahead. Even when we got back, he just sat on the couch in the same pose, nursin' his sore arm and starin'. I was feelin' the spoils of victory. We really got those guys, the Poor Sap is gonna get his cash back and pay us outta that, and we can just take it easy, at least for a day or two.

EDDIE - I didn't say anything because there really wasn't anything to say. I started feelin' stuff I never thought I would. My arm was hurtin' so I kept nursin' it for as long as it did. I just had superficial puncture wounds, they would heal by themselves. But what was goin' through my head hurt too much to say, so I didn't say anything. I started to feel like I was bein' used. Sure, I worked for the guy and he was my lover and all, but I really wondered where I stood. He knew I was bein' tortured in there and yet he still didn't talk. He just kept lettin' those awful things happen to me. He barely got by with a couple of scrapes, but as for me, that thug kept pumpin' them darts into me, the next one hurtin' worse than the one before. The boss-man laughed when he killed Chesterton. Holy hollow victory. What's goin' on in this guy's mind, I wondered. He comes up and says, "well, those two guys got what was comin' to them", and I finally broke my silence, "yeah, so did we". "What?" "Yeah, all that stuff goin' on, we deserved it."

Of course I thought the kid had flipped his lid. "what the hell are ya sayin'?" "The guy liked me. He really liked me." "Hey, Sally Field, he ripped off our client. We had to do everything we did. It was right." "We deceived him. He checked me out in the suit and liked what he saw, then he invited me over to the new place. Then ya had me spy on him, real classy, Mike." "He was torturin' ya!" I shouted. trying to get some sense into this idiot. "Oh, yeah, I'll say he tortured me. You heard every scream I let out. All that happened to you was ya got slapped around a little and a scrape on your hand."

EDDIE - Boy I was tearin' him a new one. The more I thought about the night, the madder I was gettin'. I showed him my puncture wounds on my arms and on my fingertip, I showed him the burn mark from the electric shocks I got. "I was a freakin' human pin cushion. I thought the shots were never gonna stop. I was goin' outta my skull and you just let it happen!" He came back with, "I couldn't say nothin' about our client, I had to protect him and put this crumb away for rippin' him off! They were usin' you as a pawn against me, to try to weaken my resolve. I was fightin' for him, you and me! What the hell are ya cryin' about, I won, didn't I?" I was really hurt by that - "I won". I couldn't believe he said that. "So it's just you, huh?" "Yeah, I'm a detective and I had a job to do!" "What the hell about me?" "You're not a detective, ya never was! I always worked alone. It was only 'cuz ya carried on like some fool that I had to take you on just to shut you up. Now , let's get somethin' straight, ya stupid little shit. I never really needed ya! Ya know, no one put a gun to your head and made you take on that thug in the alley! I coulda handled both them crums myself! Without any help from you! I'm the Dashin' Detective and you're just some kid who hangs around me! Get it? Got it? Good!"

I was furious. He really talked down to me. I sat there, plottin' my next move. I knew I couldn't just sit there and take this crap. I decided I was outta there. "You mean I used to just hang around you!" "What're ya goin' on about?" "I'm goin' on about how I'm splittin'."

Holy shit, no! Eddie leavin' me? I know I said somethin' rotten to him, but he started it. I had to defend myself, even if it was sayin' somethin' dumb I never meant. He went to the back room and started packin' his stuff. I was desparate. If there was anything I coulda done to erase what I said, I would. My cardinal rule as the Dashin' Detective is that if I got somethin' comin' to me, I stand there and face it head on. I never beg for my life. I ain't gonna let them see me sweat. But Eddie's different. I couldn't care less if I get shot to death, but to have to live without this beautiful young, effervescent, enthusiastic, energetic boy with a drop-dead gorgeous face whose very touch sends me reelin', who emits the perfect blend of freshly-washed cotton, cologne and just a hint of sweat around the neck, who smells more like boy than anyone I've ever known, who rocks slightly back and forth when he stands, whose biceps ripple a little when he clutches his fist, who looks so commandin' when he folds his arms, whose teeth are gritted when he's really into something, whose hair is so soft I can't stop runnin' my fingers through it, whose face is so silky smooth to touch, whose body heat electrifies me when I touch him.

"Eddie, please sit down. I wanna talk to ya." "I gotta pack, I'm gettin' the heck outta here, gonna find someone who appreciates me." "But I do" "You never wanted me around. How can you say you appreciate me?" "Eddie, I was just full of it - I'm a typical guy who just says stuff when I get worked up. We all do that." "I don't" "Well, you're one of the lucky ones." I had to grab him and sit him down physically. When we made eye contact, my heart turned to mush. "Eddie, please listen to me. I've been lonely most of my life. I did do it with a few dames from time to time thinkin' that was it. It wasn't anything to me. They came onto me and I just went with it. Didn't mean nothin'. I made like my whole life was crimefightin' so I could go off by myself. Yeah, I was lonely, but no one out there meant a hill of beans to me. So, when I was gettin' pummelled, I thought, typical day in the life, all in a day's work, and all that jazz. I heard another punch and I looked up and saw you goin' at it with that other thug. I saw your legs spread, I watched your arms extend throwin' them punches, reelin' back just a little when you were hit back, but then comin' back and kickin' him in the face on the rebound, without skippin' a beat, runnin' over to me to see if I was okay. You were the hottest good samaritan I ever saw. It was like God givin' me you for Christmas. I was lookin' ya up and down, tryin' to remember you so I could go home and whack off to ya. Ya know - things you see when ya ain't got a camera." "You did try to blow me off, though, I was so hurt I didn't know what to do. It felt like my life was startin' up and endin' in the time it took to wail on someone." "Yeah, I know I did, and it ate me up inside. I felt like I didn't deserve ya. When I started to take ya home that day, I felt like cryin'. This was gonna be the last time I'd ever see ya again, so I thought. I didn't know you were gay, I thought I was too old for ya, and I especially didn't wanna draft ya into what can sometimes be an ugly life. It was an ugly life for me, that's for sure, but I didn't feel like doin' nothin' else for money, so I became a Private Eye." Eddie nodded a bit, and said, "well, I didn't know you were gay, either, not at first. When it looked like we were never gonna see each other again, I thought I'd whack off to you, too, I was just gonna pull out my scrapbook and get into it. I'd done that a bunch of times before. I got an erection when I saw ya savin' my life as a kid. I didn't know what was goin' on, I just felt somethin' funny goin' on. I thought it was because I had to pee so bad." I chuckled a bit, and so did he. "Would ya have been like that if it was someone else, takin' a punch tryin' to bail them out, that is." "I still would've done that, but I don't know if I was gonna try to hang out with 'em, no." "I couldn't even think of a young boy like you takin' the crap I gotta put up with, gettin' shot, tied, beaten, and all that, then I saw ya wanted to go through all that for me." I started strokin' his shoulder. "Eddie, my love, my sweet, sexy samaritan. I'm so in love with you. You made my life worth livin'. I don't dread comin' home no more. I love it when a case is wrapped up, so we can spend time together, just you and me. Thank you for makin' my life so perfect I think I'm dreamin'." Eddie thought for a moment, then said, "you know, I did think it was kinda awkward with Chesterton, that is. I thought he was a really nice guy at first, it seemed a shame to bust this one. I think I got a little too involved." "Ya thought he was a friend of yours?" "Yeah, that's all I wanted. He was just a nice guy to talk to and all." "Yeah, that's the first thing to remember, but it's the first thing I forgot when I was startin' out. I was pretty broken up at first. See, that's when ya kinda gotta act a little, always bear in mind that you represent law and order, which these crumbs is against. Me and you are protectors, security guards out there. Like bein' a cop or in the army, it ain't you they strike out at, but what ya stand for. Ya said it yourself, ya wanted to take a bullet to protect me. That's what happened in that bimbo's house, and that's what happened in that warehouse. If I broke and told them everything, just for the sake of us gettin' outta there in one piece, the Poor Sap would've been toast. He didn't take an oath to go to the mat for justice at all costs, I did. And you're gonna, too." "Huh?" "We're gonna get official. We're gonna put your name in lights. You're gonna go from Boy Friday to Boy Gumshoe. Ya done some good stuff out there and now we're gonna do it nice and legal. You're gettin' a detective's license."

EDDIE - Holy hearing impairment! I couldn't believe what he just said. He's makin' me equal. I'm gonna do this. As I stared in disbelief, Mike put his hand out. "Ya wanna seal the deal?" I put my hand in his and we shook on it, then I put my hand on his shoulder, bringin' him close to me. We also kissed on it. I put my tongue in his mouth, and he did mine. I made my way down to his chin, his neck as I unbuttoned his shirt. He reached for my shirt and said, "hands up, pal, I got ya covered", which made me laugh and I immediately obeyed his command. I put my arms all the way up and he took my t-shirt off with one hand and caressed my arms with the other. I lowered my arms as he lowered his hands during his sweet, gentle caress. He licked and kissed my shoulders, bi-ceps, went straight across my chest, bein' kinda careful around my dart wounds and scars from the bullet grazing. He felt them slightly and kissed them, too. I hope them scars stay there forever and I love seein' how he sees them as a manifestation of my love for him. Like the awe of Doubtin' Thomas touchin' the wounds of Christ, like the joy of a man seein' his wife give birth to his first child. I wanted to give myself to him even more, I couldn't give enough of myself, I didn't think. "Mike, I wanna give myself to you, to do with me as you wish." And that, he did. With his cock in my ass, gently movin' back and forth, the juices flowin' inside him, makin' him moan, makin' me moan. That firm, yet gentle, supple movement inside me, sendin' shivers in me up and down. I never wanted it to stop. I was laughin', cryin', lovin' every minute of it. He came inside me, which was the most beautiful sensation ever, the best, the greatest bullet I ever took, more powerful than the rest. He then pulls out and sprays my back, and lay on top of me as we shared my fluids. Wet, warm, beautiful, sweet. We spent hours kissin', cuddlin', sayin' "I love you" over and over again. In real time it was hours, but in our time, it felt like seconds. We wrapped our arms around each other, I buried my face in his chest and he caressed my body up and down as we lay together nude, yet wrapped in that shimmerin' shiny, satin cape which is our love for each other.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - Righteous Raids and Rescues

The cops are yellin' at Chesterton to surrender and they point their weapons, but he ends up grabbin' Eddie as a freakin' human shield. The poor kid's hands tied behind his back, his feet tied at the ankles, stripped down to tee-shirt and underwear. For a second, I thought he looked pretty hot, but then I slapped myself across the face, "you fool, his life's in danger. These cops start shootin', Eddie's gonna get every last slug. What the hell are ya doin' to save him? HUH?" That's right. First I put him through the mill at the club, then I really give it to 'im refusin' to talk and all. Him seein' all-a this crap at such a young age....I think he can do better. Ya know, I think I might just let 'im go after this. Not as a partner, but as a partner.

EDDIE - I see the creepazoid gettin' it. GOOD! One down, one more crumb to go. Wait, wait, wait, hold up there! Before I know it, my hands are tied behind my back and my feet are tied up, too. I'm still p.o. at Chesterton for doin' me dirty like he did. "Boy, what a con job! Ya thought I'd be an easy lay just 'cuz ya dug my costume, and now this - all because that creep of yours wanted to get even with his boyfriend." SMACK in the gut. I go down. Practically fetal. "It wasn't just his boyfriend - it was yours, too. How the hell do you think I felt when I found out you and what's his name were spyin' on us? You call ME a con job? You fuckin' jagoff, I liked you for real. I thought you were hot. I just wanted you to start hangin' at our place so I'd have somethin' to look at once in a while, to get myself off to when I thought about you at night. You don't know what you did to me in that suit. I wanted to be with you!" He bends down to me, starts huggin', kissin', even grabbin' at me a little. "But we're with other guys", I said. "You mean I WAS with another guy. That man out there is dead! And yours is next if I have anything to do about it, if not you, too! You don't get it do ya?" "What do you mean?" "Look, I've always sort of needed someone, like, all my life, ya know? My dad and brother hated me, always blew me off, treated me like I was something different. I didn't have any friends and......I saw the likes of Batman on t.v. and the two of them were sort of like a dad and brother to me. Then I saw you guys at the bar the other night for that contest and I was just destroyed." "Then it wasn't really me ya liked, was it?" "Of course it was, I still treated you the same when you were yourself. Not that I ever experienced anything like that. I mean, as great as you looked that night, I saw who you were underneath that, and......." He just stopped. He looked at me for a second or two, then the look of sadness he had on his face turned to anger as he grabbed an AK-47 and me. He jabbed the weapon in the space between my arm and my torso and stood me in front of him as he went out to face the cops. I was bein' used as a human shield. As the cops pointed their weapons at Chesterton, he stuck the AK-47 out at them through my body and taunted, "I don't think you want to use those just now. If you do, it's bye-bye Boy Friday." He paused for a second. God, I hated it when he did that, he's gettin' another idea, I know. "Or is it bye-bye blue boys!" With the gun stickin' outta my arm, he blasted every cop in the room. My screams couldn't be heard over any of that blitzkrieg. Then he stuck his foot in front of mine and pushed me over til I fell on the floor. He loaded the AK-47 with another magazine of ammo, then aimed it right at me as I'm lyin' there, screamin' for my life, terrified outta my skull. I saw his finger on the trigger. I always believed a real man looks right at his assailant as he's about to get whacked, but I couldn't help myself this time. I squinted, heard a pop, then felt somethin' land on my legs. It was Chesterton! I wasn't hit at all, the pop was.......

.......ME! Man, I thought my boy was never gonna get outta the way. I am jokin' of course. I had my gun aimed at this bastard the whole time, just waitin' for a good shot at his head and I got it when he shoved Eddie to the floor. Chesterton keels over and I cackle, "HOT DAMN! Lucky shot!" and run over to see if Eddie's okay, or at least how badly he was hurt. He kept gettin' punctured like a stack of papers gettin' stapled. I saw this crumb lyin' on Eddie's legs and I kicked him over. "You ain't even got what it takes to die on this kid's body, much less lay down on it." I cut his bonds and try to pick him up. "Ya okay, there, boy?", I said. He looked at me for a second, then went over to where this town's finest gave up their lives for the two of us, and just stared. After all, these guys were like his brothers. I give 'im a minute, then walk over to 'im to try to put 'im at ease. I put my hand on his shoulder, hopin' then to put his head on mine, or somethin'. Man, I was missin' this kid and now that I got him back - he shrugs me off. He kinda even shoved me away a little. Then walked out. "Hey, Eddie, what's the deal?" He wouldn't answer. He wouldn't look back at me, he just kept goin'. Now, I had to stay back a little til some more cops got here and then we can clean up this mess. But I had to see what was up with Eddie. Maybe he was just all broken up about the cop shootin'. Yeah, maybe that.