CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE - SLEEP PRETTY DARLING, DO NOT CRY

WHEN WE LEFT THE DASHIN' DUO, MIKE CAUGHT EDDIE RECEIVING ORAL SEX FROM AJ AND PUNISHED THEM BOTH, HANDCUFFING THEM TO THE BED WHILE HE WAS TAKING JAKE TO PRISON WHEN HE DETECTED JAKE WAS THE RINGLEADER IN AJ'S KIDNAPPING. THE KIDNAPPING PUT MIKE AND EDDIE ON THE CASE AND THEY WERE LURED INTO A TRAP DURING WHICH THEY WERE SHOT WITH POISON DARTS AND LEFT TO DIE. EDDIE DID DIE, BUT WAS SENT BACK TO EARTH AS IT WAS THE WRONG TIME. MIKE AND EDDIE RESCUED AJ. JAKE AND AJ ASKED TO STICK AROUND AND HIRE THE DUO AS BODYGUARDS FOR THE REST OF THE TIME THEY WERE IN TOWN FOR AJ'S MIDDLEWEIGHT TITLE BOUT. AJ CONFIDED IN EDDIE ABOUT THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HIMSELF AND JAKE. AJ LET EDDIE KNOW OF HIS FEELINGS FOR HIM AND SEDUCED HIM IN MIKE AND EDDIE'S BEDROOM! ALL THIS WAS WHILE MIKE EXPOSED JAKE IN HIS LIE AND WAS GOING TO HAUL HIM OFF TO PRISON, ESPECIALLY AFTER JAKE ATTEMPTED TO CAPTURE MIKE AT GUNPOINT AND MURDER HIM, EDDIE AND AJ. MIKE HEARD MOANING COMING FROM THE BEDROOM, THOUGHT EDDIE WAS IN PAIN AFTER BEING PUNCHED OUT BY AJ EARLIER IN THE DAY. MIKE WALKS IN AND FINDS THE TWO TOGETHER, THEN HE HANDCUFFS THEM TO THE BED WHILE HE BRINGS JAKE TO JUSTICE.

NOW WE SEE THE TWO FORMER SIDEKICKS STILL CHAINED TO MIKE AND EDDIE'S BED. EDDIE IS CRYING HIS EYES OUT. AJ TRIES TO COMFORT HIM, BUT EDDIE WON'T HAVE IT. IT WAS AJ GETTING CLOSE THAT STARTED THIS WHOLE MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

EDDIE - This was an unbelievable nightmare. Chained to the bed with a guy that Mike caught me with. In my whole time with Mike, this was unthinkable, unconscionable, unreal. Yet, it happened. I wasn't dreaming, this was real. This was painful. I wasn't worried about Mike murdering me - that I could take, but to have to live out the rest of my life with our relationship at an end, with Mike forever hating me. I may as well have stayed dead in that back room at the gallery, for all the good my actions were doing me now.

Mike walks in and stares at us. He spoke to the two of us, but in a subdued monotone. It was unlike anything I ever heard out of him.

"Boys. Please forgive me for my earlier actions. What I witnessed was so painful I lost control of my emotions. I'm sorry I hurt the two of you."

He unlocks our handcuffs and orders AJ out of the house. He recommends a motel.

"I don't ever want to see your face again. You get out of here. I hope all goes well with your title bout in a couple of days. You're young and you deserve a good career, but I never want to lay eyes on you again."

AJ leaves and Mike closes the door. I rub my wrists and grimace, just like all the other times I was trapped and then set free. Then, I was ready to leap back into action, right by the side of my Boss-Man. Only, now, it was my Boss-Man who locked me in this position. I said nothing. Only sat, waiting for word.

"Eddie, please look at me."

I looked up at him. His eyes were wide open and bloodshot. His lips were pursed. His face bore the tracks of wiped-up tears. He tried to avoid his voice breaking, which is why he spoke in such a tone as he did.

"Eddie, I've come to a decision. For the time being, I will allow you to continue to aid in my work as a Private Investigator. You are intelligent, well-spoken, strong, you're a very good fighter, and you will serve me well as a partner in this agency - until the time comes when I can raise enough funds to buy out your share of Batz & Robinson PI. Then, you are to either leave town, or go into another line of work as I cannot have you in this town working as a Detective. The buy-out contract will stipulate that very clearly."

Tears came to my eyes.

"Boss-Man, please...this is my life's work, please don't take away..."

"I'm taking nothing away. You gave it all up. Your actions told me you no longer had the desire to work and live in partnership with me. You will never call me Boss-Man again. I will never call you kiddo or my Boy Friday again. Those were pet names for the man I loved, and you are no longer that man. You are also no longer a boy - you're going to be 24 years old this year. I think you've outgrown chasing after a guy who pulled you out of a closet when you were 6 years old. You've just now proven that this was all superficial hero worship. If you ever had the love in your heart for me as you claim you had, you would never have allowed AJ Buckner to get as close as he was. This is the last we'll say about this matter. You will still work here until your share of the business is sold. Just always be on call whenever a case is brought to our attention. Now, please leave my bedroom. You will now sleep in the guest house out back. I don't ever want to see you on my bed again, is that understood?"

I was taking this whole thing in - not believing it for a moment. I couldn't - it was too much. All I could do was just nod my head and mutter "yes" when he asked me if I understood what he said.

"Also, please don't ever speak to me unless you're spoken to, is that also understood?"

I stared silently.

"I'm speaking to you, Eddie, please respond."

"Yes."

MIKE - Eddie left the room. I sat on the bed and cried some more. He's right, I was crying earlier. It took me a while to get back after I tossed Jake in the slammer because I had to get myself together. I drove out to a spot that me-n-Eddie would sit and stare at the stars at night, and thought, prayed, and wept. I didn't want to do this. I hated saying those awful things to him, but I didn't know what else to do. What I really wanted to do was to just grab him and cry and beg him not to leave me for AJ. I had to stay in control, though. I had to act as if it was my idea to end our relationship. I didn't want it to end, but if it had to, I was gonna be the one to do it.

See, I'd always had this worry in the back of my mind that Eddie's a lot younger than me. I wondered what he saw in me. Was it just a little hero worship gone long? Did he really love me? Now that I caught him in bed with AJ, the question burns even deeper in my mind. I could sweep it under the back burner before, but not this time.

Days had gone by with no cases to solve. AJ's fight was gonna be tonight and then he'd be gone. There was an awful silence in our home. I ordered Eddie to not speak to me unless I spoke to him and I had nothing to say. That's not true, I had a ton of things to say, but none of them seemed worth saying.

EDDIE - We lived separate lives for the first time since we moved in together. I watched TV on my own, I ate my meals on my own. I worked out on my own. Me-n-Mike had separate bedrooms now, but occasionally we had to be in the same house together and that was real awkward. I'd sometimes look at him and my mouth would be movin', trying to form a word or two, but I stopped myself. The condition for my staying around would be that I wouldn't speak unless he spoke to me first.

MIKE - I'd avoid eye contact with Eddie when he was in the room, and when he walked out, I would look in his direction, my mouth wanted to say something. I even felt myself moving a little bit in his direction. I wanted to run after him and grab him, hug him, cry on him, have him wipe the tears off my face, but I couldn't do that. I know it meant my possibly losing Eddie for the rest of my life, and I know I was being stupid, but I couldn't break.

I did talk to him once. I called him over to the hall closet. I'd been standing there for a while, staring at the Batman and Robin costumes. Eddie showed up at the closet.

"What's up?"

"I need you to help me take a picture of these. I'm putting them up for sale on E-bay and I need a good picture."

EDDIE - I was a wreck - I wanted to scream out loud 'You're selling these? Ya can't do that! This is our life! This is who we are!', but I guess it wasn't who we were anymore. I stayed silent, except to mutter, "sure thing".

MIKE - Sure thing, he says! Is that it? My God, I was taking away one of the things that meant the world to him. Then again, I did slap that gag order on him. Silently, we took the shirts, tights and capes off their hangers, I took Batman's gloves and cowl off the closet shelf, Eddie did likewise with Robin's gloves and mask. Utility belts, boots and trunks followed. Everything was photographed and stuck in a box now.

"We'll just leave it like this for now until I get the winning bid, then we'll just wrap it up."

"Sure thing", then Eddie was on his way back to the guest house, making no eye contact, but I stopped him.

"Eddie", then he turned and looked at me, "uh, you don't have to sleep in the guest house, just take one of the other bedrooms here".

He nodded his head and said, "sure thing. Thanks."

MEANWHILE, AT THE AUDITORIUM, AJ'S TITLE BOUT WAS TAKING PLACE. IT WAS A TOTAL TKO IN THE SECOND ROUND, AJ EMERGING AS THE REIGNING CHAMP. ALL THE HOOPLA THAT FOLLOWS ANY CHAMPIONSHIP FOLLOWED - WELL WISHERS, INTERVIEWS WITH SPORTS CHANNELS AND NEWSPAPERS, ETC. AJ COULD FORGET HIS HEARTACHE FOR AT LEAST A BRIEF PERIOD OF TIME. THEN IT WAS BACK TO HIS DRESSING ROOM, WHERE HE SHOWERED AND CHANGED,AND PACKED. HE WAS GOING TO TAKE A CAB BACK TO THE AIRPORT AND GO BACK TO WHERE HE CAME FROM, TO START UP A NEW LIFE, HAVING NO IDEA WHAT WAS TO FOLLOW. HE LEAVES THE AUDITORIUM HEADED FOR THE STREET WHEN HE'S SUDDENLY SHOT IN THE BACK, DROPS HIS LUGGAGE AND FALLS FACE FIRST. HE LOOKS UP AND SEES JAKE WITH A LOADED GUN AND SCREAMS, "What the hell!" AND IS SHOT TWICE IN THE CHEST.

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE HOUSE

EDDIE - I knew Mike probably didn't wanna talk to me right now, if ever again, but I had to take a chance on it. I wanted to clear the air and didn't care how he'd react. This was a couple of hours after we packed up the Bat costumes. I'd been crying in the other bedroom, I was in so much pain I couldn't take this anymore. I'd passed my limit, even though I knew I brought this on myself, I didn't care. No one should have to suffer this much, no matter the fault. If Mike slugged me or shot me, it didn't matter. I had to talk to him.

"Hey, uh, Mike, I gotta talk to you."

Mike was sitting on a recliner with a drink, reluctant to look at me, "okay, so go ahead..talk."

"This isn't easy for me. I never thought I'd ever go through this with you. It was the very worst mistake I ever made, I've been crying these last few days, you have no idea."

"No more so than me. What do you think it did to me to see you two together? It's like there was a different guy there, someone who looks and sounds like the man who is and always will be the love of my life, but he wasn't there, it was....I don't know who you are these days."

Mike started to cry, "Aw, God-dammit, Eddie, why the hell did ya do it?"

"I don't know. I guess I felt sorry for AJ for all the crap he was takin' from Jake..."

"Oh, so it was pity sex?"

"I never intended for that. I just realized he was hurtin' and I wanted to heal that. I was hopin' he'd break away from that guy. He had no one to listen to him and I was just reachin' out. He came to the bedroom to see if I was okay after he flattened me, and felt bad about what he did, and he looked at me. I got scared, 'cuz I didn't like that look. I didn't wanna just push him away or anything, didn't wanna hurt him even more, so I thought I'd give him a quick peck to ease outta there, then he went for it, then he started goin' down, and the next thing I knew....Aw, what can I say? I don't love him. I don't wanna spend the rest of my life with him, I just wanted to comfort him, and it got outta my hands."

"So...now what?"

"What do you mean?"

"What are ya gonna do now? What do you want?"

"To get back with you. To regain your love, your trust. Be your Boy Friday, your kiddo. I'd give anything for that."

Mike started to get up and leave, "you'd give anything? You don't have what I need. Good night."

At least I tried. All hope was lost now. All I could do was just stick around until Mike could buy me out, then, go off into the world, I guess. Right now, I just needed some sleep, so I went to bed, too, but not before I prayed, "Dear God, I know what I did was hurtful and wrong, but if I could only go back, if I could only change everything. Ya gotta tell me what to do, I've done all I can think of. If you want this for me, and I hope you do, 'cuz I only want for myself what you would want, please, give me back my Boss-Man. I need a miracle, God, please."

MIKE - A couple of hours later, I couldn't sleep. Sleepin' alone gives me insomnia. Anyway, I went downstairs and made myself another drink. Anything to calm my nerves, God knows I needed my rest. It's been impossible around here, not lettin' Eddie back in. Then I heard this crashing sound in the living room. I ran out to see what was up, and the worst horror I could ever imagine - It was Jake, holding a gun on me, yelling to get my hands up, which I did, I was startled and scared to death.

"Jesus Murphy, you broke out!"

"You're damn right I did. AJ's toast, I slaughtered him after the fight, and now I'm gonna get my 10 mil, but I wanted to come back here and put you two bastards away, too. "

BAM! I'm hit, but not too bad, just grazed on the side, but it still stung like a mother. I took off runnin' and took cover while he kept shootin'.

"Where's that fuckin' kid of yours? I got a couple for him, too."

I leapt into action, "hey, nobody comes in here killin' my boy and gets away with it." I jump on him and we struggle, both of us losin' the grip of the gun - it slides across the room, and we both try to run after it, when I hear Jake hollerin' behind me. It was Eddie! He musta heard the ruckus, too, and jumped right on top of our assailant, wailing on him like nothing. He punches this guy so hard, he knocks him out. I shout "Holy TKO! Good punchin'!"

"Get the cops back here!", he shouts and I holler back, "gotcha!" and call 9-1-1. I go back to the scene of the capture and say to Eddie, "this bastard just told me he plugged AJ, so now he's got murder one on his head. He's gettin' the needle for this."

The cops come in and take him off.

"We'll just clean this stuff up tomorrow. I gotta get some sleep. 'Night, Eddie."

EDDIE - That was it? That was all Mike had to say was 'goodnight'? We just put away a murderer and....okay, I guess. It did feel great to bust a bad guy together again, if only for a few minutes, anyway. I couldn't sleep much, so I started to straighten up the living room, I just needed somethin' to do. I picked up a couple of chairs and made the place up like it was before Jake burst in. I was gonna call someone tomorrow to fix the front door. But I wasn't gonna worry about anything tonight. What could I do, right?

DEJECTED, A WEEPING EDDIE GOES BACK TO THE GUEST HOUSE. HE GOES TO THE BATHROOM, SEES HIS REFLECTION IN THE MEDICINE CABINET MIRROR AND SEES HOW RED, PUFFY AND WET HIS EYES ARE FROM CRYING ALL EVENING. HE OPENS THE CABINET, LOOKS AT THE ROW OF YELLOW, PLASTIC PRESCRIPTION BOTTLES AND REACHES FOR ONE. HE GOES OVER TO HIS BED, LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW OVER AT MIKE'S BEDROOM WINDOW, HOPING TO CATCH A GOOD-NIGHT GLIMPSE BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP. HE SEES MIKE'S LIGHT GO OUT AND HE LOWERS HIS WINDOW SHADE. HE LOOKS AT THE NIGHT STAND, WITH THE DIGITAL CLOCK FLASHING THE VERY LATE HOUR, SIGHS AND STARTS TAKING OFF HIS CLOTHES, EMPTYING HIS POCKETS OF THEIR CONTENTS AND PLACES THEM ON THE TABLE. HE THEN RE-READS THE DIRECTIONS ON THE PILL BOTTLE LABEL, TAKES A SIP OF WATER, THEN LIES DOWN ON TOP OF THE SHEETS, STRETCHING OUT HIS SINEWY, SMOOTH, MUSCULAR ARMS AND LEGS, GRIMACES AND LIGHTLY RUBS THE SHOULDER WHICH SUSTAINED THE DART-WOUND OF A FEW DAYS EARLIER, AND CLOSES HIS EYES.

WHAT?!?!? WHAT THE HOLY HELL IS THIS???? WILL SHADOWY SLEEP SLIP IN AND OVERTAKE "ROBIN" THE BOY FRIDAY? WILL THE DASHIN' DETECTIVE, THE CLOAKED CRIMEBUSTER GET TO HIM IN TIME - OR IS THIS THE END OF OUR DEJECTED, DEPRESSED DYMANIC DREAMBOAT? WILL YOUR FAVORITE DETECTIVE STORY WRITER HAVE TO FIND HIMSELF A NEW LOYAL, ALL-AMERICAN RED-BLOODED SIDEKICK?

SIT TIGHT, GROOVY GUMSHOE GROUPIES.

THE WORST IS YET TO CUM IN OUR NEXT CHAPTER!!!