CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX - Lonely Little Lads

MIKE - When Jake burst into the house, making one last vain attempt to shoot me-n-Eddie, he did get me pretty good - a graze to the ribs, but I was gonna be okay, Eddie really saved the day, jumpin' on him and wailin' the tar outta him. The last few days had been very painful for me. I really missed my boy in my arms in our nice, soft, warm bed, his nice, warm, firm, ripplin', rock-solid body next to mine, his nipples which I love to lick, his torso which I love to caress, to hold, I love the feeling of my hands on his arms, and his hands on my arms. We'd switch back and forth, burying my head in his chest, or the other way around. That had all been missing the last few days. I felt my boy didn't want me anymore. I mean, he had a hot young prizefighter goin' down on him, so what did he need me for. I did somethin' that in my life I never did before. I walked away. I gave in. The fight with Jake just now, with Eddie by my side, Eddie had my back, taught me somethin'. You never walk away, you fight to the death, you let your enemy know you're not gonna take anything lyin' down. You charge at your enemy, you look your enemy in the eye and throw every punch you have in ya. God, I was dumb - I was lettin' AJ win, I was lettin' all my insecurities win, I was fightin' with Eddie when I shoulda been fightin' for him. I realized all of this when Jake burst into the house. As Eddie might tell ya himself, when Robin was drugged and was against Batman, he didn't fight him off, he dug his heels in and fought for him, and he won. That's what I was gonna do. I went right for the hall closet and dug out our bat-suits - naw, these weren't for sale anymore - I didn't even put it up on e-Bay just yet. My boy was gonna wear this and be back with me if it took every last breath from my body. I want my boy back and I'm gonna get him. I was startin' to get the suits out of the closet when I caught a glimpse over at the guest house. I saw him cryin'. He lowered the shade on one of the windows, but I could still see him in the other one before he lowered that shade, too. "My God", I thought to myself, "he's all upset. I better race over there and get him back before it's too late."

No matter what it took, the two of us were gettin' back together. I was pretty rough on him, and I was all wrong for it, too. I'd give anything if Eddie would just forgive me. I didn't care about catchin' him with AJ anymore, all I knew was Batz & Robinson were gonna ride again. I swooped into action, racing across the way. I walked into the guest house and went straight for the bedroom. Eddie was fast asleep. Didn't matter, he could sleep later on - next to me. It must've been pretty warm in there because he was sleepin' in the raw on top of the sheets. Then, outta the corner of my eye, I spotted somethin' - it was a bottle of pills. Pills? They were knocked over, some of the pills fell onto the floor. There was a pad of paper on the nightstand, I picked it up to see if anything was written on it, and sure as shootin', it was a note that said, "Mike, I....." and then nothin'.

Holy Sweet Mother of God, the kid's tryin' to off himself. What if he was already dead? I tried to wake him up - nothin', but at least his body still felt warm - good sign. I kissed him a few times, shoutin' his name - come on, Eddie, wake up!

"My God, he's unconscious, he's not movin'!" I was too late - why did I let him leave the room? Jesus Murphy I'm the stupidest guy alive, why'd I walk away and say good night? Why'd I let him go? Why didn't I make up with him right then and there? Why'd it take me so long to realize what I had to do to get him back? Now you've done it, Batz. Ya killed the love of your life. Ya happy now? Oh, so strong and proud, ain't ya - not so right now, are ya, ya putz! What was I gonna do? I turned my back and wept buckets. Punches, bullets, ropes, nothin'...nothin' hurt as much as this. My boy was gone and it was all my fault.

As I sat sobbing, I heard a groan in the back. "My God, it's Eddie, he's still alive!"

I turned around and grabbed him, shaking him awake, "come on, Eddie, come back to me, come on, snap out of it!" I begged. He opened his eyes.

"Mike, what's...what's goin' on?"

"Oh, Eddie, I thought I lost ya there, but you're back now, you're gonna be okay."

"I'm back? I'm gonna be okay? What're ya talkin' about?"

"These damn pills ya took! Why'd ya do it?"

"Pills? I - - "

I grabbed the empty bottle and scooped up the pills off the floor. "These. Ya took all of these, didn't ya - just because I threw ya out. Eddie, I had no idea you were that broken up. I'm so sorry."

Eddie started to regain his sea-legs and thought for a minute.

"Oh, gosh. No. Mike, ya got the wrong idea. Read the label."

I read what it said on the bottle. Somethin' about 1 each night. It was a prescription, dated in April 2005.

"You takin' medication? For what? Robin never woulda..."

"Remember the universal bat-antidote, Mike. I only took one, got groggy and knocked the bottle over after I took a sip of water. I have chronic insomnia."

"Insomnia?"

"Yeah, I could never sleep a wink - not on my own, anyway."

"Were you takin' these all this time? I don't get it. You always slept like a baby with me."

"Well, that's because you made me cum so hard, I always just passed out."

Oh, I had to let this one sink in. I thought for a sec and then a huge smile came over my face and I chuckled, "I did, huh? Heh-heh, how about that!"

"It relaxed me - that and the fact that I had my head on your warm, sturdy hairy chest. It was better than down."

I still didn't get this insomnia thing, "how did you get insomnia? How long have ya had it?"

"Ever since I could remember. I couldn't ever get to sleep, even when I was a kid. I couldn't sleep when my mom and dad were fightin', when he slugged her and I jumped up and slugged him back. I was a bad-guy buster even then. I couldn't sleep when they were fightin', I couldn't sleep when he was out all night and mom was drinkin' non-stop. I lay there with one eye open, waiting for her to moan, or to fall down and I had to go out and pick her back up and take her to bed. I couldn't sleep when they finally split up and she had other boyfriends over to the house. Then when my dad kidnapped me and I was tied up in that closet. I couldn't sleep when he kept sayin' he was gonna get rid of the dead weight - meanin' me. He didn't wanna pay child support and offin' me was gonna be his way out. Then you came in, rescued me. You slammed the door open, I saw your coat swing back and forth, as you stood spread eagle, bendin' down to grab me. Ya swept me up in your coat, your arms around me, I hung onto you for dear life. You said, 'come on, kiddo, your mom's been worried', and ya took me home. That was the first time I slept for real in a long time. I hung onto your arm and slept on it as ya drove me back, then we got home and ya carried me in, brought me back to my mom. I just loved you so much, but I didn't know the way I loved you. I thought ya might be my new dad. My mom thanked you, you tipped your hat to us, and rode off into the sunset, your black coat swingin' back and forth as you walked. I had nightmares for years after that, then I finally went to see someone about it, and then the doctor gave me these pills. I didn't take very many, 'cuz that's when I met up with you again. That night at the hotel, when we got together and styaed together. I didn't need them anymore. You rescued me again. You were my hero again. You've always been my hero. I've always loved you."

He grabbed me and held on so tight, just like he did as a child.

"Oh, God, Mike, I've missed you. I know I did somethin' wrong and I'm real sorry about it. I never meant for it to happen. AJ was just all broken up and I just looked at him and tried to comfort him. I know I stared at his pic and thought he was hot-lookin' and all, but I had no real feelings for him. He was into me, and ev'rything, and I kept tellin' him this was wrong and he went down anyway. I saw that look of hurt on your face, and I've been real broken up about it ever since. Mike, I don't know how I can ever make it up to you. I don't wanna lose you, Mike, please don't leave. I'm sorry, I'm sorry......"

He cried buckets. Just like at the closet. Just like at the hotel. I could see that I was ev'rything to this boy. This boy was ev'rything to me. We held each other like there was no tomorrow.

I stroked the back of his soft, warm, sweet-smelling hair, saying "ssh - it's okay, let it out. I'm right here. Your Boss-Man's right here and he's never goin' away again, that is, if you want him to stay."

Eddie pulled back and looked at me, "Of course I want you. Why would ya think otherwise?"

"Look, kid, I carried on the way I did 'cuz it seemed like all my worries were right."

"Worries?"

"Yeah, In the back of my head I always wondered what ya saw in me. I know how ya felt about me when I dug ya outta that closet, and all, but your love for me went beyond hero worship and I sometimes thought you could do better. Ya know - bein' around a broken down old man like me."

"What makes ya say that?"

"Come on, kid, I'm at least 20 years older than ya. You're always so wide-eyed, gung-ho, ya really love life, and I had to wonder was I suckin' the life blood outta ya."

"No, way. Ya put the life blood back into me, not only bein' my hero when I was a kid, but havin' the chance to actually give ya back what you gave me. It's like when a cop saves a kid's life, pushin' him outta the way of a speedin' car, the kid never forgets and grows up to be a cop, too. I wanted to do good for others just like you did. Outside of your physical attributes, you have the most beautiful heart. I see how ya look at people when they come in askin' for help, I see ya lookin' so hurt when it turns out they were stringin' us along, lurin' us into a trap, and ev'rything. You have such sweet soulful eyes, a really warm voice, you're a great protector. You've dedicated your life to the good of others and you make people feel as safe as you do me, and I think that's so beautiful and I thank God ev'ry day 'cuz I'm right there doin' that with ya. Yeah, there's still some hero worship but I also got to know you as a man, as a powerful, gentle lover, as a friend. It takes a real special kinda guy to do all that, and you are that, and....then ya have me there. You took a chance on me. I always wonder if I'm good for you."

"If you're good for me?"

"Sure. I mean I'm a good fighter and all. I'm pretty strong, I work out and have the muscle and all, but I get insecure, too. You're the best and I wanna be the best right with ya and I wonder if I can cut it sometimes."

I had to chuckle when he said that. "Geez, what're ya talkin' about? You have the same thing inside you as I do. You're a hell of a crimefighter, you're the best partner I've ever had. You're my Boy Friday. Sure, I love my work, but since you came along, ya made it - - well, ya made it more fun. I sometimes smile when I see ya gettin' all excited about a new case and the way ya throw yourself into it. That sweet smile of satisfaction when we win one, the passion that comes across ya when things don't look so good, 'cuz you, too wanna make the world a better place and you're such an all-american, ya got such a great body."

"Yeah, well, the body's okay, I guess. I never really looked at it much. Sure I got muscles, but that's cuz I need to stay in shape - I wanna fight crime for the rest of my life. It's what I'm s'posed to do and I love it. I only look the way I do 'cuz that's what heroes do - it's to show the bad guys we mean business. I never thought it turned anyone on."

"You're serious!"

"Yeah, I mean, I appreciate the things ya say about me, and all, but I didn't start gettin' in shape to meet some guy, that's icin' on the cake, but...when we got together the first time, I wanted to work with ya and I thought you were hot, I never thought I was such a turn-on. I'm just this big, goofy-lookin' kid with stars in my eyes, is all."

"You don't know. You've never seen yourself as I see ya. As AJ saw ya...Skip, or anyone else for that matter."

"Naw, I can't say I have. I'm just doin' my job is all. My body's a tool for the job, it's like an office supply. Heck, even the way I dress is part of it - we gotta move around a lot when we get goin'. I never, ever knew what that was doin' for other guys, and it's sweet when they tell me, and all, I mean, who wouldn't blush when someone gets a crush on them, but....all I am is just this kid who got lucky and really loves what he does...and who really loves you. We're like a couple of lonely little lads who found each other."

I smiled from ear to ear, my eyes brimmin' with tears.

"Eddie, I dunno what to say. I'm...moved, touched. Choked up."

He leaned in and wiped my eyes with his fingertips.

Then I stopped for a second, scooped up his stash of insomnia pills.

"You're never gonna need these again."

I walked over to the bathroom and flushed the whole thing down the toilet and tossed the bottle out. I walked back over to Eddie with my arms outstretched. He looked up at me kinda quizzical. I smiled and nodded to him. He gets up and embraces me, and I do likewise. One arm around him...I stroke the back of his head with the other. I kiss his neck.

"Welcome home, baby...welcome home."