CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE - The Case of the Heinous, Hateful Hoodlums

A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY AFTERNOON AT A COMIC BOOK STORE - BEAUTIFUL IN THE SENSE THAT IT'S CLOSING TIME AND THE SHOP OWNER, STEVE, AND A BUDDY OF HIS, SCOTT, A REGULAR CUSTOMER, ARE HANGING OUT AND SET TO ATTEND A SUPERHERO CONVENTION THAT EVENING.

"I've never been to one of those - what's it like?"

"Aw, man, it's a blast you're gonna love it - I go every year - you get these guys who dress up like Batman, Superman, and all the rest - that's where I got that bootleg Batman DVD set."

"Oh, yeah, you never did burn me a copy of that, by the way."

"I tried a few times, but my computer wouldn't read the signal for some reason - but you can always come over and watch 'em, any time."

TWO GUYS WITH WOOL HATS AND SUNGLASSES WALK IN SUDDENLY.

"Uh, sorry, but we're closing in a few minutes."

WEAPONS ARE DRAWN:

"You're closing right now! GET YOUR HANDS UP!"

STEVE AND SCOTT REACH FOR THE SKY. ONE OF THE BANDITS TAKES OUT SOME ROPE AND ORDERS THE OTHER ONE TO TIE THEM UP.

"Aw, no, please - you don't gotta tie us up - just take what you want and leave us alone."

STEVE IS PISTOL-WHIPPED AND FALLS BACK AND HIS HANDS ARE TIED IN THE BACK, THEN HE'S YANKED BACK UP. SCOTT IS ALSO TIED UP.

"Take 'em to the back room!"

THE TWO TERRIFIED TWENTY-SOMETHINGS ARE PUSHED AND SHOVED TOWARD THE BACK STORE ROOM AND ORDERED TO SIT ON A SOFA WITH A GUN TRAINED ON THEM IN CASE OF ANY SUDDEN MOVES.

THE TWO GUYS HEAR A HUGE RUCKUS OUT FRONT, THEN THE OTHER GUNMAN HEARS "Come on! Let's move it!"

"What about these two?"

"STUN 'em!"

AT THAT POINT, THE TERRIFIED TWENTY-SOMETHINGS TRY TO ESCAPE, BUT THEY'RE BOTH SHOT IN THEIR FEET WITH TASER DARTS AND THEY GO DOWN SCREAMING. STEVE HITS THE GROUND FIRST, BANGING HIS HEAD ON THE FLOOR. SCOTT HAS IT SOFTER, HIS HEAD LANDING RIGHT ON STEVE'S BARREL-CHEST. HE SLIDES DOWN A LITTLE, THEIR BOUND BARE BICEPS TOUCHING.

THE ROBBERS ESCAPE

AS THE TWO LAY WOUNDED, SCOTT CRIES, "What'll we do now? I -- I can't--MOVE!" TEARS OF AGONY ROLL DOWN SCOTT'S SMOOTH CLEAN-SHAVEN FACE, AND LAND ON STEVE'S TEE-SHIRT.

STEVE HAS A PLAN - "We're just hit with Tasers - when that wears off, we gotta get ourselves untied, then make a phone call."

"The cops?"

"Nah - I know somebody better..."

STEVE AND SCOTT SIT BACK TO BACK UNTYING EACH OTHER, ALL FOUR ARMS RUBBING AGAINST EACH OTHER - THEIR TEE-SHIRT SLEEVES HIKE UP AS THEIR SMOOTH, SHINY BARE ARMS ARE TENSED-UP. THEY GET THEMSELVES UNDONE, VIOLENTLY FLINGING THE ROPE TO THE OTHER END OF THE ROOM. SCOTT RUBS THE ROPE-BURN MARKS ON HIS HANDS - STEVE RUBS HIS UPPER ARM AS HE LANDED RIGHT ON IT WHEN HE FELL WOUNDED.

HE THEN TELLS SCOTT:

"You haven't had a chance to meet this guy, but a regular of mine, really into comics...he's a detective - Eddie Robinson."

"You mean Batz & Robinson?"

STEVE PUTS HIS HAND ON SCOTT'S SHOULDER AS SCOTT CONTINUES TO RUB HIS WRISTS. "Precisely, chum! I think they're the best ones for this."


MIKE AND EDDIE APPEAR ON THE SCENE. EDDIE GOES IN THE BACK TO DEAL WITH THE WOUNDED HOSTAGES AS MIKE CANVASSES THE AREA.

"Thank God, Eddie, we gotta get to the hospital right away."

"Gosh, Steve, where'd they "Tase" ya?"

"In our feet. We were trying to make a break for it when the robber started shooting at us. He was aiming right at our chests. If we didn't get movin', it'd be a lot worse."

Scott replies, "Yeah, we might've been killed on the spot. But this sucks - now we can't go to the convention."

Eddie asks, "what convention?"

"Comic book convention - Steve recommended it and we were headed out there just when these bastards ran in and did their stuff."

I interjected, "I just looked over the whole area - a box marked "Batman" was tipped over and empty. My guess is that they took the whole inventory of Bat merchandise, and they spray-painted 'Riddle me this' on the walls, with a huge question mark."

Eddie was amazed, "wow - all the Batman stuff? I can see where they'd want somethin' like that so badly, but still, we gotta get these guys and recover the stolen merchandise. Sounds like we got a couple of real sick puppies on our hands".

Then I had a thought - the convention - this perp just might know about it and decide to strike there, too.

"This convention - how long does this go on?"

"Tomorrow's the last day - it runs from Noon to midnight."

I look them both over and try to console them, "hey, ya know, you're both a couple of young guys, pretty strong, I guess. Ya might get treated and released tonight - you could probably go tomorrow. Hey, Eddie, I just had a thought. Maybe we all oughta go tomorrow."

Eddie rubs his fist - "I think we oughta go tonight - whoever this is has to know about the convention - I think he might strike tonight if he hasn't already."

Steve says, "Couldn't we go with ya guys?"

Eddie replies, "Nah, best if you lie low tonight - thank God you only got Tasered bu that'd still pose a risk of nerve damage, and we don't want your lives on the line any further than they were already."

"Eddie's right - if ya wanna help us with this case, we'd like to have you guys around, but ya gotta get healthy first."

I chuckle as I just remembered something - this might embarrass Eddie a little, but he'll get over it.

"As a matter of fact, whenever the two of us get hit on the Job, Eddie's always the first to leap back into action, no matter how badly he gets hurt."

Steve smiles at this, "I'm not surprised - Eddie's always thought about others first. Quite a guy."

Eddie's face turns redder than the Taser marks on these boys' legs, but, hey, it's the truth. A good gumshoe always tells the truth.

"So, we'll get goin' to this convention - see if anything untoward happens, hopefully we'll be able to stop it."

"If we hurry"

Steve pipes in, "hey, guys, you can use the tickets we had for tonight" He and Scott both reach inside their wallets and hand us the tickets. Eddie pats Steve's arm and says, "thanks, Steve, you're a pal."

Scott says, "you guys are pals, too - just let us know when you need us" - he slams his fist into his hand and snarls, "I really wanna crack their skulls".

The paramedics show up to treat the boys, then THESE boys were on their way to the comic-book convention. "We'll stop by and check how you're doin' after the convention ends tonight - you're in good hands now".

Steve mutters, "holy Allstate".

"LET'S GO!"

MIKE - Racing against time, as usual.

EDDIE - I'm reading the address on the tickets and say, "It's not very far from here, we should be there in about 10 - 15 minutes."

"Excelllent! One thing worries me."

"What's that?"

"Suppose this is too easy - I mean, we can only assume the bad guys'll be there."

Eddie disagreed:

"That comic book store - much as I love it - is really a door prize compared to the jackpot that is a superhero convention."

"You really think the villains will strike there."

"It's almost as if I'm being told - that's how strongly I feel. Strange, huh?"

"Yeah, kinda - but even if nothing happens tonight - at least we're taking action, and those kids are gonna be okay".

"That's what really gets me, Mike. They should be on their way, if not there already. I don't know this guy, Scott, but Steve's a real sweetheart. I got to know him when I started hanging out there a couple of years ago. At that point, I never knew anyone so friendly, so funny, so into this. I swear he'd be a superhero right now if he could. Once, I didn't have the scratch to come out here, so he bought my ticket and the two of us had a real blast. Now, he's sittin' there in an ER, getting a bullet taken out of his leg on THE night he looks forward to all year. Just based on that, I really wanna get these guys. Why they didn't wait til the store was closed is beyond me. Heinous hateful hoodlums, that's what they are."

I smiled and put my hand on his leg.

"You have such a beautiful heart, my boy. But I think you're treadin' a dangerous path."

"Letting it get to me personally."

"Exactly. I know he's your friend and you want to avenge his shooting, and I love you for that. It makes you a great crimefighter, but we do have to treat this as though it happened to strangers. You have to keep your wits about you at all times."

"Gosh, yes, Boss-Man. I will."

We pull up to the convention center. The parking lot is almost surrounded by fighters of evil - heh, at least a bunch of guys dressed for a night of fighting evil. A couple of Supermans, some Aquamen, Spidermen, Clark Kent and Lois Lane, and all that. Yeah, this looks like it's gonna be a fun night, I hope we get to have a little fun, too. Bustin' a couple of heads. We're really ready for some action.

"Ya see any Batman and Robin types yet?"

Eddie scanned the parking lot, "Not yet - let's check inside."

We turn the tickets in and get our hands stamped and they give us back the stubs.

"Keep your eyes peeled. If there are any Dynamic Duos around here, we gotta get their backs, watch 'em like a hawk."

"Right - LOOK! Blue and yellow capes at 3 o'clock!"

And there they were. Two guys dressed like Batman and Robin. Poor stiffs, they don't know what may or may not hit 'em. We follow them - keeping a distance to be sure, but we've still got an eye on them. We walk past a Batman stand. Still intact, nothing wrong there. People start comin' up to the boys, looking like they're admiring the suits, taking pictures and that.

"Hey, check it out - there's a Joker."

"Man, I always thought he was strange - always gave me the creeps."

We saw some Penguins, a couple of Riddlers, an occasional Lex Luthor. We accidentally bump into a Catwoman.

"Oops, sorry about that. 'Scuze us."

"Put 'em up, knaves."

She pulls out a couple of guns from her holster.

"I've got you covered with my cat-darts."

Eddie's eyes popped open - not outta fear, but admiration.

"Wow - that's a great looking suit - and where did you get those cat-guns. They look just like on the tv show."

"Yes, they cost a pretty penny, but I treated myself out of the proceeds on my assault on Mount Gotham. The rest was WORKING CAPITAL."

Eddie laughs and says, "you're the boss, Catwoman."

"Yup - how are you boys feeling?"

"Purrfect."

"You're learning. TTFN"

Eddie smiles, knowing what the next line is, "What's TTFN?"

"Ta Ta for Now. MEEEEOWW!"

She walks on her way, and we on ours.

"People actually carry on like that, huh?"

"Aw, you bet. Things like these are like a god-send. Ya get to come down to something like this for one weekend a year and just hang with your bat-people. It's great. Ya really feel like ya belong somewhere sometimes, ya know?"

I smile at him. "You feel right at home here, dontcha?"

"Aw, Mike, it's like a family. You never know who you'll really get to know here, you might not really bond with anyone, just a bunch of passin' ships, but for two days outta the year, the whole building knows what you're talkin' about."

"Ya know somethin', kiddo, I'm glad you had this in your life, to get ya through - that Robin kept ya goin' - gave ya somethin' to hang onto, somethin' to believe in. When I first knew ya, I thought it was a little odd, I didn't watch the show much when it was on, or anything, but when I see not only how happy it makes you, but how much it's influenced your life for the good, I'd say that somebody up there did you a real good turn."

Looking into his eyes, I say, "you've been a great sidekick to me, kiddo, the best Robin any boy can. I've been a good Batman to ya?"

A huge smile swept across Eddie's face and he reached over and kissed me, "Awww, Boss-man - you've been the best ever."

"Hey, when this wraps up tonight - and we get back home, ya wanna - ya know - "

"The minute we get in."

Then outta the corner of his eye, Eddie sees the capes.

"Hey, Boss-Man, there they are again."

"Good eye - let's tail 'em."

I know - I know - how can we be sure they're the same guys dressed like the duo? Hey, this is a detective talkin' to ya here. I checked their height, the hair on the guy bein' Robin, his smooth, silky, supple arms, how beautifully he fills out them tights of his. Aw, you bet I remember these guys.

They stop for a sec to chat with someone else givin' them the once-over. We gotta make our move, right as soon as they split. They do. We move.

"Uh, 'scuze us. Can we talk for a sec?"

The Batman says, "sure, but not too long - we're kinda workin' here tonight, we gotta do the whole room."

Our badges come out.

"So do we."

"Hey, what's up?"

"Potential security problem - havin' to do with you."

'Robin' says, "why - what'd we do?"

"Nah, nothing you did - but what someone else may do - to you."

"What're you talkin' about?"

"Tonight, there was a comic book shop that was robbed. The bad guys stole all the Batman memorabilia - and they tied up and Taser darted the two guys workin' there."

"And we suspect they might strike here tonight - even tomorrow - we'll be back here then, too."

"Which comic book shop was it?"

"The one on 8th and Jefferson."

'Robin' hypes out "holy home week - a guy named Steve owns the joint?"

"Yeah."

"Great Scott! Steve's been Tasered?"

"Yeah - he should be okay pretty soon, we hope - but we're kinda keepin' an eye on you guys - I hope we're wrong, but we just wanted ya to know, you might need protection this weekend."

Just then, a "riddler" comes running up behind the duo and shoves a rag on both of their faces. They struggle and fall to the ground. Me-n-Eddie try to rush the guy, but we get hit with a blinding flash-bomb by his henchman, with smoke all around us. Eddie takes his shirt off to wave the smoke away so we can see. We see the two poor guys being carted away. The rest of the room, thinking it's just a re-enactment of the series, laughs, applauds and even hums some of the background music.

"Let's go after them, Boss-Man!"

We go running after them, don't see hide or hair of them until we get out to the parking lot and see the two bad guys stuff something into a van.

"Holy cargo! He's kidnappin' them."

Eddie takes out his digital camera and snaps a shot of the back of the va, license plate and all. We leap into action, jump into the car and go speeding off. As it looks like we might catch up to them, the henchman starts shooting at us. We don't care - the car is bulletproof, and even if not, we gotta get our man and save those boys.

"That could've been Steve and Scott - good thing they didn't show up here tonight!"

I don't believe it - it's not an abandoned warehouse they're pulling into, but a paking garage at a condo complex. We're stymied. How can we get into that garage? Which apartment are they going into? Will we ever find the villains and rescue the heroes? Lord only knows what's next!